Category: Uncategorized

November 13, 2020

Warrior

Dear Warrior,

When I say Warrior, I AM including each/all of us.

I know we get weary, long sigh…so weary that we can’t even begin to describe the exhaustion. I am here…in it…with you. It has brought me comfort to know that I’m not alone. I hope you find solace as well knowing that The Divine is a safe place, a shelter, a refuge. And fellow Warriors (seen and unseen) are in the fight with you.

War on, Warrior. You’re not alone, even on the days you feel the loneliest and alone.

Rest up, Warrior. Take care of your heart…daily.

I AM warring alongside you, fellow Warrior. Here…in it, with and always, for you.

Suit up, Warrior. Put the armor on – again. Faith is a shield (I’m raising my fist…as in power to all people!)

Thanks be to God, who gives us Victory! Praise has been (and is) a sanctuary for me.

Victory doesn’t always look the way we (or those around us) believe it will. Victory may be getting out of bed. Victory may be the strength to draw the curtains back and let light in, even if only for a few minutes a day. Victory may be making (or accepting) that difficult phone call. Victory may be skipping dessert during the week (help me LORDT!).

Victory may be consistency in taking the necessary medication. Victory may be drawing boundaries that were never drawn before because of fear, doubt, insecurity or some other negative. Victory may be saying “no” to people who didn’t ever stop to ask; just assumed that you’d always be a “yes” person. Victory may be fill in the blank for what your soul needs now, here…in this very moment.

Victory to you, Warrior! We’re in this together!

Love, Prayers, Peace and Good Vibes ~ Warrior lali

Common Day Hero: As soon as you hear negative news, you immediately reach out to physically be present. You asked and continued to ask when we could meet. Your love is felt. You are not a “fair-weather only” person and I AM grateful. You are a fierce Momma, a loyal wife, an exemplary daughter and daughter-in-law. You are seen and loved. Warrior Tina, I dedicate this post to you.

November 6, 2020

movements…

There are a plethora of movements out there, born with good intentions. If you are led to join and can bring good to the world through it, please join. And let’s not be the judge regarding the org and movements our friends join. WE cannot even begin to know or fully comprehend what another human has endured, experienced or survived. May we truly grow in grace…for ourselves so that we can then extend it to all.

What has been so heavy on my heart for quite some time though is this: joining a movement is something external. Others can see that you’re a part of something big, something that “looks” good, something that causes words of praise or awards…somethings that makes us “feel” better.

My caution is this: listen to the impressions of The Divine on your heart. What’s your motive? Do the movements you’ve become a part of match the way you live your daily life?

Are we saying the words “all are equal” or “black lives matter” or “brown lives matter” or “all lives matter” but living in a way that shows all lives matter on a sliding scale and not equally? Are we saying what’s popular so we can hide behind prejudice tendencies and/or racial bias?

I’m talkiN, my son/daughter ain’t datiN that fill in the blank because it sadly ain’t just black and white. It’s all flavors. I’m talkiN, oh, how do you even say that name; I’m not calling that person in for an interview? I’m talkiN, we don’t go to those people’s house across the street, ok kids? I’m talkiN, God loves all people, but we can keep a safe distance or just send a check. I’m talkiN, they’re not from around here, so we don’t need to try. I’m talkiN, “you don’t have an accent”, yes, I do, it’s just one that’s more common in America, is all, thank you!

On and on and on, it’s in ALL cultures -all flavors of us humankind. Many times, as humans, we prize “easy” and “same” rather than the joy that comes from cultivating the difficult, the awkward, the interesting. I know from experience, I am so much richer in spirit because of the deep, difficult and meaningful relationships that I’ve given and received grace upon grace.

All of us, as people, elevating one group over another is a disservice to each of us. Believing that our ethnic, religious, social, cultural (or any other) group is superior in some way hurts us all. I believe EACH group has beauty to offer and NONE of us need stand in the way of that beauty being brought to the table (individually or collectively).

EVERY tribe. EVERY tongue. EVERY nation. EVERY group deserves a seat, a voice and unhurried time at the table. How can we, as individuals, begin living in a way that genuinely promotes that…over the LONG haul?

Are we saying we stand with those who have been marginalized? Are we using words that lead others to believe we are helping those less fortunate when in reality we are lining our pockets…or receiving perks/benefits (some seen/known and some unseen by others)?

Are we saying we believe in the voice of women? Are we saying that women are so essential and vital to every conversation, but silencing (or limiting, dismissing, ignoring) them in our families, businesses, religious gatherings etc?

Are we saying that children can be themselves, share freely and be open, but questioning what they share and why? Are we pretending to be safe spaces and secretly doing more harm than the outside world can ever see?

All of us are flawed. Being flawed is not an issue. WE are all flawed humans.

Pretending to be faultless, pretending to be God, pretending that we have no issues is the danger. In the pretending, as time passes by, lies grow and reality blurs. Each of us have a choice…to choose to do the difficult heart-work of being real, authentic, honest, transparent…or not.

Throughout history, “image” has been king. Some of us haven’t allowed what the world at large thinks to influence us. Some of us blindly follow those closest to us (rather than working through situations). Some of us haven’t known how to break free. Some of us haven’t even thought about the possibility of things being any different. We place so much value on what a human says to us or about us. I have learned to place value on The Divine. The Whisper that I hear only when I choose to be still.

As long as we live, there will always be chatter. While I believe that we were made for community, I do not believe in hiding the Truth or using connections and groups as a way to allow evil to flourish. With every decision, we, as individuals, are either a movement for help or harm.

May we come to a place of facing, acknowledging and sharing Truth (even if NO one stands with us). Recently, a song from childhood just came out; I started singing, “though none go with me, still I will follow”. Yes, regardless of who’s with, for or against me, I choose to wholeheartedly follow The Divine.

Everything that we’ve worked so hard to hide, or others have said we must hide need not tie us down anymore. May we come to a place of being still and choose surrender, solely to The Divine, so that we can be free!

Freedom is a journey…a process. Everyday, we can choose Freedom. We can remind ourselves (repeatedly) of Truth. WE can give ourselves grace in the moment, for the moment and despite the moment/s. I’m sending love, courage, grace and strength your way today, fellow Warrior. Here in it, with and always, for you!

Common Day Hero: Yesú brought you into my life at such a young age. You were always wise beyond your years, even in childhood. Our adult lives have mirrored each other’s so much, without us knowing. I always held you dear. I AM grateful that we can go deep, be our most authentic selves and always, no matter the present hell, laugh fully. Laughter is such good medicine. I dedicate this post to you, Queen Sheeba!

October 30, 2020

heart

Is there any area in our lives where we’re allowing external influences to drive/push us? We feel the anxiety…chest constricting…can’t breathe and still we allow ourselves to be driven by the words of those around us…those we deem more powerful or somehow “worthy”.

We know it isn’t what we really want, but we squash our own hearts and keep running. That describes how I lived until I hit year forty/fo’ty on this planet. Almost six months in as a fo’ty year old, I knew I had to change course. I felt a strong need to reach out and quickly get help or I would drown. I don’t know that I can even begin to express it all – I just felt a deep need to be made well.

Yep, that’s another throwback to my Sunday School days. It’s the sixth verse of the fifth chapter of St. John in The Bible. Depending on the translation you read, the exact wording varies, but essentially Yesú asked a man something like this: Do you want to get well? Do you truly long to be healed? Do you want to be made well?

That day, I felt an inexplicable pull to choose something that showed potential in bringing wellness and healing to my soul. I reached out to a neighbor who had previously (and by previously I mean like a year prior!) mentioned benefitting from an experience-based/life enrichment/heart-level training. When I asked her about it, she said, oh I want my family to go first. I said ohhhh…k. Thought that was odd, but I didn’t let it stop me.

I remembered that an acquaintance had also mentioned this training (three years prior!). I reached out and she gladly gave me the website and all other info that I needed to register. I immediately registered for the next available class that worked best, based on my husband’s travel schedule. That class was in April two thousand seventeen. I had NO idea what it would be like. I just knew I was going to give it my best; my everything!

I WANTED to become well. I WANTED to be healed. I WANTED to be restoreD (not a typo!).

There were a total of five classes to complete to “graduate” from the program. I attended that first class with no clue what to expect. I remained full of curiosity and for the first day, mostly an observer. I couldn’t seem to grasp what was really taking place. I wasn’t sure what the expectations were and/or I wasn’t comfortable with them at certain points, but I continued attending. I was going to see this through…completely.

As that first class progressed, I knew I needed to attend the second class. I started seeing a little bit. If I can compare the experience to eyesight/vision (not sure it fits entirely, but it’s what I got right now!), in that first class, the eyes of my heart were completely shut.

I opened them wide in the second class and the Light stung so badly. I immediately closed my eyes, took a deep breath and willed myself to slowly open again…this time, I held my hand up to shade my eyes. Not too bad. I could see so much – the delightful, the painful, the ugly, the lies, the shame and finally…the Truth. Long sigh. Slowly, my eyes adjusted and began taking it all in and…processing.

Truth had been there all along. I just couldn’t see past all the yuck till that moment. What’s equally sad is that I hadn’t realized I couldn’t fully celebrate the good, fun moments because I hadn’t faced all the yuck.

I had buried my heart so deep without even realizing it. I had buried it for safe-keeping; whole-heartedly believing that it was unsafe to let my heart be seen at all. That realization was crushing. I was then challenged (via a list of activities) to stand in Truth and walk through the difficult moments.

I was encouraged to free my inner child. The little girl whom I had silenced by stuffing her mouth so full. Others had silenced her as well, but some of the reasons I told her were: I’m shutting you up because I need to keep you safe. I’m silencing you in hopes that you won’t repeatedly be hurt, mocked, blamed, molested, ignored, dismissed, accused, ridiculed, called names like fat, ugly, weird and “not holy enough”.

The core message I carried unknowingly, since childhood, was that I was not enough. I was (and would be) abandoned because I was “not enough”…the blame was on me, always…regardless.

Fill in the blank, I carried it – not good enough, not pious enough, not worthy enough, not kind enough, not brilliant/intelligent enough, not feminine enough, not pretty enough, not educated enough, not fashionable enough, not slender enough, not wealthy enough, not quiet enough, not light enough (I’m a joyful brown skinned girl!).

I was finally in a safe space in that training room, to face as much (or as little) as I wanted with honesty and love. For the first time that I can recall, there was no judgement at all. I heard The Divine whisper “reborn” and I felt it to my core…my vision was completely restoreD!

Considering my upbringing, the most surprising piece for me was that true deliverance, freedom, healing and restoration began for me in a NON-religious environment! In that very first class, I heard The Divine ask me: so, MUST the individuals in this room acknowledge Me or AM I who I AM regardless of acknowledgement?

All the tears came then…how much had I limited The Divine and the work of The Divine without even realizing it? I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine is everywhere, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only occupied the spaces that our religious elders deemed worthy!

I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine speaks to all people, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only spoke/guided/led those in our religious group!

I grew up learning songs and verses that prioritized the call of The Divine on individual hearts, but we lived in a way that the consensus of the leaders/wealthy/powerful in our religious group carried more weight!

We smiled, cheered and at times even screamed in victory in our religious gatherings as we “amen-ed” that The Divine alone created (and treats) us all as equals. We sang and quoted lyrics/verses echoing that sentiment, but cowered in anxiety and fear at the sight of humans who claimed to hold spots closer to The Divine…or those whom we’d simply elevated based on external merit.

What I know is that I began experiencing (then and now) life-altering healing and restoration because I stepped in fully to do the difficult/rewarding work. I continue to recognize patterns and find healthy ways to be a cycle breaker in my daily life.

I quit beating myself up emotionally, mentally and spiritually at the end of this training. I have never picked it up again. I was analytical beyond reason, but since engaging this training, I AM introspective, creative and reflective in healthy ways.

I am still a very flawed human, but from that day on, I began extending and experiencing grace radically. I began embracing Truth in my core and living fully from my heart.

I AM safe and joyful because Abba/Amma holds me…regardless. No matter the level of hell coming my way, I choose daily (somedays, moment by moment) to cling solely to Truth.

If you are ready to do the difficult and most rewarding heart work necessary to begin living fully from the heart, I recommend one of the three organizations listed below. I do not receive any commission or gifts/perks/benefits from these organizations. I’ve just seen and heard good things. Every org has its flaws since we’re all flawed humans, but I believe healing and transforming work is happening here:

https://www.pathwayscoretraining.org/ (the program I attended)

https://choicesseminars.com/ (a friend chose this program when I presented both Pathways and this org. AND this is the org that I hear started it all…the story I know is that a single mom wrote the initial “curriculum” and it grew and morphed into many other individuals and orgs birthing/benefitting from it…including Pathways).

https://lifeenrichmentbootcamp.com/pricing/ (a friend attended this one, long before I met her!)

The picture I chose for today’s post is full of meaning for me. Lotus is the meaning of the name Kamala (sounds like come-ala). It’s the name of my mother and the name I chose as my daughter’s middle name.

The roots of the lotus may be in the murkiest of waters, but it pushes its way upwards toward SunLight. As it grows, each petal opens one by one to receive in goodness, Light and Love. The lotus speaks determination, beauty, resilience and strength to me.

On this journey with many unexpected twists and turns, I wish you the resilience and beauty of the Lotus, fellow Warrior. I wish above ALL that your soul prospers. I wish courage for you to choose that which keeps you truly well. Regardless of what occurs around us, we can choose wellness, strength, health/life.

Do you want to be well?

Common Day Hero: Sara, you are fierce, funny, full of faith and which other f-word can I fit in here?! There has always been a connection and I’m glad it only continued to grow stronger through the years. I AM grateful to have a little bit of Norma still here. She is beaming at you from the other side and somehow, at the same time, still carrying you here on earth. I dedicate this post to you, my beautiful French vanilla cousin, Sara Jean.

October 22, 2020

Spirit!

My kids and I were so excited to go to the theater and see The Lion King when the remake came out last year! We thought it was powerful. Good message. Well-made. Not professional critics here; just our opinion!
Fast forward to…Covid and the-longest-spring-break-ever and at-home learning and more screen time and WAY too many changes at once in our world. Since ‘rona. the kids and I have been listening to a LOT more music!
Music has always moved me. Music comforts, heals, empowers, restores, validates and brings joy to me.
Recently, I added Beyonce’s song, Spirit, featured in The Lion King, to our playlist. And I was amazed that I did not hear (or remember?!) the powerful words in this song and specifically THIS, “be one with the great I AM”.
So…this sentence just floated on by me when we watched The Lion King last year and again when the song was played at various times. This song. THAT sentence.
This has been an interesting, challenging, fun and infuriating year…and I know that does not even get close to describing it all. sigh. I have been extremely sad, upset, in excruciating pain and overflowing with gratefulness at several points on the journey this year.
The pandemic…how it has affected our world at large…how it has affected those closest to us…those in our innermost circles…and us, as individuals…LONG sigh. Taking a deep breath (ok, three!) as I type all this.
Every.thing going on reminded me that a few years ago, I fully embraced the belief that there are NO accidents! Whether I can totally grasp (I can’t) or whether I like that statement “there are no accidents”, it is my personal belief that every.single.moment is filled with Divine purpose. I do not need to feel good about that. It is ok that I do not want to hear it some or all the time. I AM human and that is completely alright.
So, with me believing that there are no accidents, I AM finding solace in the words of this song. I AM finding a safe space, a sweet shelter in the Secret Place of the Almighty…here…NOW…in THIS moment…in THIS song.
I cannot begin to put into words how much I’m feeling right now. The beauty, solace and joy of hearing something in a moment when I desperately needed to be reassured…a moment when all hell seemed to be rejoicing over what looked like defeat for me…
Be one with the great I AM!
Things are not pretty or fun or wonderful right now. And this is when The Divine let me hear encouragement, sense healing and become empowered with words that remind me (again) that I AM who I AM says I AM. And I AM not alone. The great I AM is ever-present. I AM so grateful.

The words give me chills every time I hear the song (and that’s about twenty times a day now!). The song reminds me that my destiny is near and that I am standing and fighting for/with the Great I AM! Insert praise hands! Insert jazz hands! Insert a raised fist as in Power to all People! And literally jump up and down, run, shout, whateva you feelS now…I’m raising my fist!

I AM a Warrior and I am spiritually warring for Truth to be revealed this year -in my own life, in our circle, in the extended community and worldwide -WHATEVER IT TAKES, may Truth rise!
Fellow Warrior, neighbor, friend, we’re in this TOGETHER…always.
Here are the lyrics (credit/copyright info at the end of the song):
Uishi kwa muda mrefu mfalme
(Uishi kwa, uishi kwa)
Uishi kwa muda mrefu mfalme
(Uishi kwa, uishi kwa)
Yeah, yeah, and the wind is talkin’
Yeah, yeah, for the very first time
With a melody that pulls you towards it
Paintin’ pictures of paradise
Sayin’ rise up to the light in the sky, yeah
Watch the light lift your heart up
Burn your flame through the night
Whoa, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, and the water’s crashin’
Trying to keep your head up high
While you’re tremblin’, that’s when the magic happens
And the stars (stars) gather by (gather by)
By your side
Sayin’ rise up to the light in the sky, yeah
Let the light lift your heart up
Burn your flame through the night
Yeah, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah (yeah)
Your destiny is comin’ close
Stand up and fight
So go into that far off land
And be one with the great I Am, I Am
Boy becomes a man
Whoa, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’?) Yeah
Spirit, yeah, watch the heavens open, open, yeah
Spirit, Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah (yeah)
Your destiny is comin’ close
Stand up and fight
So go into a far off land
And be one with the great I Am
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Beyonce Gisselle Knowles / Ilya Salmanzadeh / Timothy Lee Mckenzie
SPIRIT lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company
Common Day Hero: Africa SistAHS! Grateful The Divine connected us all on that trip to South Africa all those years ago. Each of you are dear to me. You have spoken life over me. You have brought much needed laughter and I AM honored to have you warring alongside me. Wakanda Forever!
October 16, 2020

Pain and Peace

Pain and Peace co-exist. I’ve said it many times through the years and now I’ve been reminding myself this.whole.week.

Pain and Peace can co-exist. In the midst of immense pain, I feel Peace. In the moments when the pain is so overwhelming, I remind myself of the Peace above all understanding.

I am walking through one of the most difficult experiences of my journey now. I’m living with pain beyond my ability to describe it.

During this time, it’s been cutting to the core to see who my real and true friends are versus those who are just here if X, Y, Z or one, two, three happens. I was so sure I knew who my friends were, but then…sigh.

Just this week another person I thought I could trust led me to more tears. I realized half way through the conversation, yah, this was certainly not necessary. sigh. I am learning and growing and recognizing the safe spaces. All is not what it seems.

I’m reminding myself that all is well. Pain and Peace co-exist for me.

I am practicing the very things I’ve shared with others in person, on the phone, on this blog…it’s looking like this for me right now –

Cry. Sometimes that’s a thousand streams of water running down my face for a really long time. Sometimes it’s just a few silent tears. Sometimes tears fill my eyes.

Scream. Like a toddler…I’m talkin’ the shake your whole body, stomp, scream at the top of my lungs kind of screaming…when I have a moment alone in my car!

Take deep breaths. Sometimes I imagine a calming/comforting scene. Sometimes I look at a photo. Sometimes I close my eyes. Sometimes I close one nostril (why does that word sound dirty?!). Sometimes I hold my breath for seven seconds before exhaling. Sometimes I just breathe!

Journal. I make notes of so many things, but I recently realized (yesterday!) that I’m not the greatest at taking a moment to ask myself what am I feeling right now? So, adding that!

Quote Scripture. The verses from childhood have been coming up a lot. The ones I didn’t know why I was being forced to memorize (thanks Dad!). They’re bringing comfort and courage and Peace in the midst of pain now.

Talk with friends. This one has been painful, peaceful, comforting and challenging. I’m finding the friends who don’t make it about them, don’t minimize my pain, don’t suddenly jump ship and are alright with just being.

Sing! Music is cathartic. Somedays I listen to instrumental music. Somedays I listen to a wide genre. Somedays I sing along with the music. Somedays I just sing! I’m not the greatest singer, but I enjoy singing, so I sing!

Pray. I am being still. Sighing, listening to all that The Divine is saying and spilling my heart out too.

I AM choosing Peace in the pain and so can you, dear Warrior.

Common Day Hero: You are kind. You analyze (too much!) about all the people, places, things…I know, it’s because you are consistently working to be your best. I see and feel your sincere heart, unconditional love and loyalty to those in your circle. For and with you, always, Theja. I dedicate this post to you.

October 9, 2020

voice (for the voiceless)

Years ago, when I first used that phrase “voice for the voiceless”, I thought it was only for a few…my sister (who has autism), those with intellectual disabilities and those who no longer had family. As time passed, I realized it’s for anyone. It’s for (fill in the blank). It’s inclusive. It’s for us ALL.

At some point, we may all have felt that we had no voice, or our voice didn’t count. What I didn’t fully realize (till a few short years ago) was that the little girl (my inner child) who didn’t feel worthy, safe, valuable enough to stand up for…who never felt enough – not good enough, not intelligent enough, not attractive enough, not spiritual enough, not funny enough, etc…had a voice…and could use her voice!

Voice.for.the.Voiceless.

I found my voice and lost it and found it and lost it so much over the years. Ok, some years, I just sat on it. I was sad, disappointed and afraid at different points on this journey. I took to heart the words that other humans said. Some well-intentioned, some hurtful-not-helpful, some unkind and some positive.

My words to myself were cutting…an attempt to “beat myself into shape” mentally. I didn’t realize I was silencing myself. As much as others hurt me, I didn’t see that I had joined them in squashing my own voice.

Also, what I believed for so long was that my voice could be taken, but what I know today is that I need not give my voice away. Words may be said, hurtful actions taken against me, but I can still stand on the solid ground of Truth. I can still speak up…even if it is just a Whisper.

IF my voice is literally stripped away, I can write. I can type. I can sign (not fluently!). I can wave my hands, a flag, a sign/poster. So, I will…for myself…for those who are differently abled…for those in a verbally/physically/mentally/emotionally or spiritually abusive relationship feeling no hope of relief…for those seeing no way out and feeling alone…for those trapped in their minds unable to express the myriad of thoughts…for those similar to my sister…for all who cross paths with me and are in need of a Voice.

I AM a voice for the voiceless.

Some days are exhausting beyond description. Some days are excruciatingly painful. Some days I feel so alone. I know I’m never alone, but some days it feels like I’m so alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. In the difficult moments, I AM reminding myself of these truths:

The Divine is ever-present, ever-near, always available for a chat. Even in moments when I feel distance, I close my eyes or take a deep breath and immediately sense Peace. I am not saying it’s always rainbows and butterflies and chocolate chip cookies. I am saying, we are promised the Presence of Peace, always.

We are not promised that this life will be comfortable or easy (although we tend to consistently seek that!). We are promised that we will never be abandoned, never be alone because the Presence of The Divine is with us.

The Divine is always available for a hug via a breeze, the waves/sounds of the ocean, the smile of a stranger, laughter, a song that moves our soul, shared tears and an innumerable amount of other ways. Take a deep breath or close your eyes or both and feel the Peace that surpasses all understanding.

Earlier this week, a friend sent me a Power/Affirmation/Truth statement that she wrote. It was/is thought-provoking and empowering so I wanted to share it for us all…I recommend reading it aloud and loudly if you can/want!

“Don’t be a Footnote. Write Your Own Story – I Write My Story. Breaking the Shackles of Expectations; I Soar Free, I Fly High. I May Win, Face Defeat or Just Get By. But I Own My Story. I define My Destiny. My Dreams, My Being. I Walk to My Own Beat and Sing to My Own Song. Never Mind the Conversations Around Me, About Me; Words of Hate May Become The Wind Beneath My Wings. I Am Not An Afterthought, Never a Footnote. I am the Headline, the Punchline. I Sweat my Days and Breathe in the Nights. I Laugh, I Tear Up, I Tread through, I Get Tired. But Never Give Up and Never Give In. I Live My Adventure. I Write My Own Story”. Gauthami Vemula, Founder: UGauGrrl.com

Also, fellow/caring humans are just a phone call, text, video chat or drive/flight away. Speak up! Reach out! HERE for and with YOU! We are not alone!

Common Day Hero: You are brave. You have a genuine love for all people. You have taken care of many around you and it does not go unnoticed. You are such a creative soul and I believe the world really needs your art. Sarah, I dedicate this post to you.

October 2, 2020

kind

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do something.

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he didn’t feel bad. Not today!

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe, I had to answer him at least five times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer/rescuer/savior.

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different! One is not “better” than the other – just different!

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then started walking…er, limping!

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality. 

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause/process…then respond from my heart. 

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not all the same. We need not be the same. Our differences if welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.

Many times we equate kindness to not speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know (in your heart) that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?

Common Day Hero: You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!). Aunt Karen/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.

September 25, 2020

fumbling

Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt like you were fumbling? And I don’t mean just once in a game…I mean, fumbling like it was becoming something on the regular?

May the words of The Divine ring true for you here…now…in this very moment. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. I continue to fully embrace the belief that there are no accidents.

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward.

And I’m good with it. I wasn’t raised to be ok with fumbling. I was raised to be perfect, to never miss the mark, to be extremely rigid about attaining “perfection” and always give the impression that I didn’t fumble.

What fumbling, faltering, failing…forward means to me is that I am not ignoring what needs to be addressed, not making something up and not making anything more than it is.

I AM simply stating truth. Acknowledging the impact of that truth. Sitting with it as long as I need. Reminding myself that self-care is not selfish and (slowly, but surely) prioritizing self-care. Creating a plan based on love for self, healthy boundaries and this statement of Truth:

I have everything I need.

This is a principle that was presented to me in childhood. It continues to bring comfort and peace to me. The Lord is my Shepherd; I have everything I need. (I lack nothing. I shall not lack. I shall not want). Verse one of Chapter twenty-three from the Book of Psalms in the Bible.

The Lord is my Shepherd speaks cared for, nurtured and safety to me. Each sheep is of utmost importance to the Shepherd and I am safe in the care of The Divine. I am taken care of and nurtured by The Divine.

I have everything I need when – promises made are broken, friendships fade, health fails, depression persists, loved ones relocate (pass on/away, transition from this life) and all hell unleashes on me.

I have everything I need because – I have love for myself (Divine Love is my firm foundation), I AM a Warrior armed with courage and Truth, I am committed to the journey of healing in every way – mind, body, spirit.

I have everything I need. And so do you, fellow Warrior.

If someone has unexpectedly turned the light off in your world, look for the smallest Light. The Light of the Sun, Moon and stars are always available…a reminder that the Light of The Divine is eternal. Listen for the Words whispered by The Divine. They are a Lamp for our feet and a Light for the path (Psalms again ~ Verse one hundred and five of Chapter one nineteen).

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward…with you because WE have everything we need.

Common Day Hero: You have faithfully cared for those around you. Even when you are unappreciated, you exude courage and dignity. When we were kids, I admired your beauty and intellect. Now, I also admire your strength and resilience. Smarita, I dedicate this post to you.

September 18, 2020

denial

It’s easy to see when those around us refuse to face the truth…especially if we believe it’s dangling directly in front of their faces. Something so big, it can’t be denied and yet…it is.

We see it all for others, but do we make excuses to hide behind the fears in front of us? Do we dismiss what is on our own hearts and minds? Statements or thoughts like oh, it’s ok. I’ll just stay quiet, so no one else feels awkward. I don’t want to cause a ruckus. I don’t want to draw attention when others haven’t said anything.

Have we compared and essentially minimized our story? Examples: my situation isn’t as bad as theirs. I’ve heard so much worse. I know this isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m talking about these issues when others go through a whole lot more.

How many times have we let others tell us (verbally or through their actions) what a “spiritual”, “proper” or “acceptable” response is? Have we let a spouse, friend, extended family member, social or religious group decide what our next steps must be?

Have we allowed other voices to dictate our feelings and/or the meaning of the actions done to us? Regardless of how “innocently” the harm occurred, it is still harm. Being stabbed is painful…no matter what the back story.

Sadly, so many people throw out verses and words like “extend grace”, “just trust” and “respond in love” to those who are the VICTIMS…those who have been wronged, violated, taken advantage of, mistreated, fill in the blank and sometimes repeatedly.

I fully believe the Divine always has room for the perpetrator and the victim, but I do NOT believe that the victim must be silenced. I do not believe that fear, manipulation or guilt are to be given a leadership position.

I’m reaching back to my Sunday School days for this: The One who promised never to leave or forsake you is true to that promise. Even when the support you thought you would always have changes and even if every one leaves, The Divine is with you.

IF you have been violated in ANY way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, you are not alone. I weep with you. You are worth speaking up for, standing up for, fighting for…always!

Wherever you find yourself today – perpetrator (looking in the window), victim (looking out of the window; wishing, hoping and screaming for a way out), you are seen and loved. The Divine is always with you…arms wide open to embrace you (or give you dap!) because Love heals.

Now let’s get the help we need. Let’s not ignore or dismiss anything; let’s invite Divine Love into our lives. Let’s truly care for and love one another in DEED. Practical points for us to “love one another in DEED” –

If the perpetrator is a friend or family member, may I encourage you not to let the relationship blind you to what is necessary? Help set up therapy, psychiatric evaluations or anything else that is helpful.

If you are the perpetrator, The Divine is waiting on you. Light, Love and Healing awaits. The Divine will walk with you through the most difficult of situations, Overcomer!

If you or someone you know is a victim, reach out to a licensed counselor and support group. Lean in to close friends who will prioritize safety. Stand in your power even if no one stands with you. The Divine will carry you through the storm, fellow Warrior!

Is there any area where we are in denial? If so, what is one truth we can sit with today? If we’re not ready to embrace it all yet, can we just sit with it a bit? Is someone close to us in denial? If yes, how can we keep ourselves safe and sane?

Common Day Hero: On the day I first met you, you stood up for me. I will always remember how much it filled my heart to have that day with you and Kochayan. I have always wished that you lived near me, but when I became a mother, I really mourned not having you close. I thought (and still think) of you often and especially when I desperately need grace. You are wise, welcoming, an amazing cook, witty and fun. Beautiful Sushi, I dedicate this post to you.

September 11, 2020

pause

It seems society (worldwide) actually encourages/enjoys pushing play. Messages all around us have our minds racing literally ev.er.y minute. And some of our minds start racing when we finally fall into bed at the end of an already long day!

Whatever we title it – play, perform, run – going non-stop is praised and glorified. Some of us are on the go because our work demands it and we fear switching careers or speaking up. Some of us say we’d like to see change and we want to be a part of change. Do we want to lead or help cultivate the much-needed change?

The accolades of other humans isn’t my personal goal anymore, so I’m pressing pause on the regular. Not everyone around me likes or understands the “pauses” and that is alright with me! I know that pressing pause is necessary for me to stay healthy.

For too long, I was running…on fumes. Taking care of everyone else around me…being in tune to the thoughts and words and requirements of others, but not my own. IF this is true for you, may I share what I’ve found helpful?

Daily: Make time for deep/intentional/focused breathing, meditation, prayer, reading (silently and aloud) affirmations such as: kind words, encouraging phrases and verses, journaling (this includes, notes on your phone or other electronic device!) and physical activity even if it’s just five minutes a day!

Weekly: Make time for reflection. Acknowledge the challenging. Applaud the positives. Make note of all that deserves gratitude. Connect with that inner circle of people; the much-needed village.

Monthly: Make time for at least one weekend day with no must-do activities…a sincere day of leisure with no requirements what-so-ever!

Quarterly: Make time for a weekend away (such as camping, swapping places with a close friend or renting a space – airbnb, bed and breakfast, hotel). Resist the urge to fill the weekend with activities. Give yourself (and your tripmates) time to just sit.

Yearly: Make time for a true vacation (no work!). If time and resources allow, take an international trip every few years to experience more of the beauty around our world.

Each of us are wired differently, but I hope the above is of some help in creating a plan to pause. As we go about our day/week, let’s pay attention to this: are we pressing pause as often as we need just for ourselves?

Common Day Hero: When I think of learning how to love and prioritize one’s self (self-care), regularly choosing moments of solitude, enjoying food that tastes good and is good for our bodies, you come to mind. You are considerate, funny and such a comfort to know. I will always remember your kindness to me and my sister in our younger years; it continues to warm my heart. Lisa, I dedicate this post to you.

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