I don’t know how many of us feel this, but there are times that I don’t know if the words I’m typing are most accurately relaying what I’m feeling. This is one of those times (now that it’s out there, do I need to make an announcement every time I feel this way?!). Here goes!
Since 2015, my family began gathering for circle time in our own home. Circle time is our spiritual gathering -sometimes we sit around our dining table which is square! Our heart behind “circle time” is that we are all equal before the Divine. As a family, we made a decision to give ourselves and our kids a space to simply be…a space to breathe…stretch…grow. We play songs that encourage and uplift our hearts; songs that have us dancing, swaying, palms up or hands raised as well as songs that move us to tears…of gratitude, joy and sadness. Songs that summon us to bring our best daily, to surrender to the Divine plan unfolding, to extend grace. We share our hearts with each other – the challenging and disappointing as well as the exciting. We ask the difficult questions. We pray for and with each other. We listen to inspirational and/or spiritually challenging messages together. We take deep breaths together. At times, other individuals and/or families join us. Regardless, our family has seen (and continues to see) how grounding and important this time is, so we choose to prioritize the spiritual and commit to a weekly circle time.
My husband and I grew up in very strong, legalistic, religious circles. I believe the initial intent of the groups may have been good, but somewhere along the road, it became more important to look, think and behave a certain way…a way that required us to conform, a way that was determined by our elders, a way that was enforced with anxiety, fear, control, manipulation and other negative measures, but always labeled “speaking the truth in love”. I was raised to perform for the adults around me although the words that were used had me (and other children) believing it was “all for God”.
As I got older, what I had witnessed growing up became the way I approached spirituality. I continued to perform in a way that I believed was expected of me. In any situation, I filled the air – with a prayer, a Proverb (wise saying), words of comfort…or correction, a solution of some sort. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I was carrying a very heavy weight…a pressure to “fix” or guide or appear spiritually sound. I genuinely cared for others, but I didn’t take the time to be still and truly listen to what was on my heart. My personal belief is that the work of the Divine begins in our hearts; some of us have made it all about the brain (intellect/logic). The work from head to heart is quite a journey, but well worth it. I began to really hear the whispers of the Divine and value speaking only when led.
Our family walked through a process to redefine what a weekly spiritual gathering would look like for us. We didn’t feed the need to look traditional or be limited to what we saw around us or meet the approval of others. We began fully exploring, facing truth and giving ourselves space to breathe…stretch…grow. I believe that a healthy spiritual community will be inviting, loving, welcoming of all the questions (including the difficult ones), challenging and modeling a heart of service.
Common Day Hero: I dedicate this post to my dear Mitzi. Childhood friend. Prayer warrior. Patient with all my questions – political, religious, societal -and truthful with all her answers.
