My tears have been my food, day and night, while they say to me, ALL day long, WHERE is your GOD? This is the third verse of the 42nd Psalm, in the Bible. I personally haven’t stopped my food intake, but my tears have been at an all time high.
My emotional pain can be felt in my physical body and sometimes all of it feels like too much. I take deep breaths (several times a day), I cry, I burn incense (since childhood, the aroma has been comforting), I pray, I sigh, I light a candle, I talk through the details with friends who want to do so.
For some of us, current events have us angry…angry at the people we believe are causing a fuss, those whom we believe are stirring strife, dividing and causing harm. For some of us, we are angry at not being believed, not being heard, still not validated or understood. For some of us, the spaces we thought were safe are proving quite fragile…more fragile than we ever really realized before…all this. For some of us, we are adjusting to standing alone, without the support system we thought would always be available.
In my late twenties, I realized that anger is almost always a secondary emotion. Many times we don’t realize that we were first hurt, saddened, disappointed or experienced some other pain. Anger and frustration sometimes come so readily/easily and seems more socially acceptable. So, I’m asking us, what is beneath the anger? Is it pain, disappointment, grief, something else? Take time to reflect and acknowledge the root.
No human can dictate what that process looks like for each of us. Give yourself (and those around you) room to reflect, to name each grief, each hurt, to process and fully release. Do we dismiss our hurts (or allow external forces to dismiss it)? How can we choose to prioritize our pain and grief this week?
Prioritizing and processing grief and pain opens the door to gratitude. I believe grief and gratitude can coexist. I am grieving with my fellow humans during this difficult time and counting what I’m grateful for in the moment.
I value my heritage because it has contributed to experiences that resulted in deep reflection, curiosity and personal growth. I appreciate my parents for building relationships with people of all backgrounds. This gave me the joy of seeing beauty in every culture/flavor. I have continued to respect and welcome all people (regardless of ____) into my life.
I AM grateful for the friends and family who are willing to have difficult conversations. I genuinely appreciate those who have created safe spaces where any.thing can be asked so that we can all learn and grow.
I AM so thankful for friends who have recently acknowledged their own prejudice and racist tendencies (I had to face all of that within myself some years ago). Only when we know the Truth can we be set free.
I AM encouraged to see what seems a more cohesive unit working towards equality for all.
I AM hopeful that we will see policy changes that translate to quality education for ALL (regardless of race or socioeconomic status), increased accountability of those called to protect and serve as well as religious leaders.
As a first generation American of East Indian/Curry descent, I have much gratitude for the Civil Rights Movement. It is because of their tireless efforts, strength and irrepressible spirit, my parents were able to benefit from the Immigration Act of 1965 and come to America to pursue their Graduate degrees. They are from the same state in India, but met while at college in Tennessee!
To all in the Civil Rights Movement (past and present), my heartfelt gratitude. You have inspired me to be a part of the change I wish to see, to cling to hope in the darkest of times and relentlessly work towards liberty and justice for ALL.
Common Day Hero: You have seen and felt the tension of changing…the pain that evolving brings and yet a newfound joy that could only come from this specific kind of growth. You are sincere and resilient. The fierce warrior in me recognizes and salutes the fierce warrior within you. Amy R (Ambassador to me), I dedicate this post to you!
