heart

January 1, 2021

wordS

A new year is upon us! HAPPY and HEALTHY 2021 dear ones!

Every year, I find it difficult to believe that another year has flown by…already?!

I’ve been a “words” person for as long as I can remember! My word is my bond. Words carry so much weight for me. When given the time to process, I AM careful with my words. My heart is to only say words from a place of love and kindness.

When not given the time to process, I’ve said words that were hurtful to others. Words I’d like to erase. sigh. As much as is possible (when the parties have made themselves available), I have apologized for negative words.

At times, my words have been misunderstood. I haven’t always accurately stated a true reflection of my heart and haven’t always been given the chance to clear up misunderstandings. I’ve reconciled those within myself.

How many of us have felt the cut…the sting…the blow of hurtful words? I guess all of us. sigh. How many of us have felt empowered, uplifted and rejuvenated by encouraging words? I trust all of us!

wordS…powerful, inspiring, motivating…crushing…if we take the “S” and put it up front, we have Sword. I personally believe Truth is our sword.

Sometimes, circumstances cause our vision to become blurred. Sometimes, we are quick to doubt the Truth and believe lies. Sometimes, we grow weary and our strength is depleted.

If we are sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry or fill in the blank, may we let in the Light and Love of those around us. May we let the Truth be spoken and sung over/for us, so Truth alone takes root in us.

Dear fellow Warrior, let’s raise our Swords in unison…especially for those of us who have no strength to lift ours in this moment. Let’s put our arms around and under each other; let’s commit to support one another with love and grace. Let’s commit to kind words, gentle/affirming actions and silence as needed…and always, let’s raise our swords on behalf of our collective/total healing and health.

As we step into the new year, may we be empowered by Truth…to process each day, to fully face tomorrow and always to keep our heads held up high because even on the most difficult days, this is the Truth:

I AM who I AM says I AM…and so are you!

Truth comes through the words of The Divine (now and always)…the words of those committed to carrying/walking with me through difficult moments…the words of countless songs, stories and prayers.

Through my tears, I choose to let Truth wash over me, cover me, fill me…and I raise my sword. Full of gratitude for the fellow Warriors alongside me, especially in this season.

Common Day Hero: You are a Warrior, friend in need, Truth Teller and fierce Mom. Thank you for praying, believing and standing with/for me. NicoleR, I dedicate this post to you.

November 20, 2020

forgiveness

Definitions for forgiveness are probably over a hun’ed. I have had to resolve within myself what forgiveness is for me, personally…practically. What best helps my heart remain pure, true and not stuck in revenge-mode?

For me, forgiveness is not forgetting…I’ve heard “forgive and forget” from so many well intentioned people. Nah maaaan, I don’t forget. For me, forgiveness is remembering without reliving the pain, the sting and all the negative weight of/from the incident.

Forgiveness is a journey ~ full of twists and turns, rough terrain and always the unexpected. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any clear direction. Stay the course. Sit with it…as long as needed (this may bother humans, but not The Divine). Pause a moment and just breathe.

Forgiveness is choosing to fully release (daily…sometimes multiple times a day!). And by release, I’m tryna say that I take a few really deep breaths, punch a pillow, go for a walk, light a candle, scream at the heavens, see a licensed therapist, angry draw, burn incense, join a support group, start the music or inspirational speakers playlist, quote or read Scripture and/or positive statements/affirmations of Truth…

I encourage any/all methods that help to fully release from our bodies the hurt, sadness, anger and negative energy that seeks residence in us. At our optimal, we are conduits of the positive, the beneficial, the healing and restoration of ourselves and all around us. Choose life. Choose the positive.

I choose to be a forgiver. I choose to be a conduit/channel for The Divine.

Actions speak, so I have practiced watching closely and believing the behaviors of those around me. I’m a “words” person and unfortunately, it took me several y-e-a-r-s to reach a place of weighing the actions of individuals. sigh. Regardless of the words thrown our way, what are the actions/behaviors saying?

Strength and courage dear one, as you face the difficult, painful and maybe frustrating Truth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal the offender apologizing. Forgiveness doesn’t equal the feelings disappearing. Forgiveness is a choice. I remind myself often that the beauty of love is choice. From a heart full of love for self, The Divine and our fellow humans, the gift of forgiveness is born.

Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t share the same definition. Reconciliation within yourself is crucial, but reconciling with another individual is not entirely in our court. We may need to reconcile and resolve within ourselves that the relationship/s we thought were solid forevah, aren’t. That is alright.

I have come to believe that although I continue to remain loving, kind and untethered, I am not responsible for other humans. I need not carry anyone, but myself. I am fully responsible for my behavior alone.

And, could it be that the people who walk out of our lives unexpectedly or those whom we need to keep at a distance for our own health’s sake are reminders of the promise of The Divine to always come to our rescue…always care for us even when we don’t realize how deeply we are being cared for in the moment?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have no boundaries. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness emancipates us to create a property line for our hearts and minds. Many people suggest that if our forgiveness was “real” then we would allow room for the individual/s who have violated our trust. Not so, my fellow warriors.

We need not grant access to those who have shown that they can’t be trusted. We decide who has access to our hearts, our time, our energy. When we unshackle ourselves from the grip of those who have wronged us, we are FREE to set healthy boundaries and honestly work through questions such as:

Do I need to answer this or does this call get sent to voicemail? Once I listen to the voicemail, does my heart need twenty-four to seventy-two hours (or more!) before deciding if I will respond? IF it is best that I not respond now, how can I release this, so that I am not carrying an ounce of negative energy surrounding it?

How do I set aside every negative weight, so that my heart remains free?

IF I have decided that a response is alright at this time, which method is safest for my heart: a phone call, text or email? Is this someone I need to visit in person? If so, do I need to take a real/true friend with me?

Only you can decide. My encouragement is that these decisions genuinely be made from our hearts, not in the heat of the moment and not from our minds. Our heart leads because the work of The Divine is always in our hearts.

Everything I have shared on my blog, thus far, I have walked (or am currently walking through) myself. Truly in it all with you. The yuck, the difficult, the painful and the triumphant!

Fellow Warrior, you are not alone. Be still. Hear the Divine Whisper. Create a plan. Move accordingly.

Common Day Hero: Many look at you and see a list of titles…all the roles you fill. No shade – you fill every role well – always available and willing. I see a little boy…maybe four or five years of age. He is adorable; looks carefree but carries more weight than anyone could begin to know. I hope that little boy breathes – fully and freely this year…the year of the fulfillment of the promises of Yesú. I dedicate this post to you, Chetayee.

November 6, 2020

movements…

There are a plethora of movements out there, born with good intentions. If you are led to join and can bring good to the world through it, please join. And let’s not be the judge regarding the org and movements our friends join. WE cannot even begin to know or fully comprehend what another human has endured, experienced or survived. May we truly grow in grace…for ourselves so that we can then extend it to all.

What has been so heavy on my heart for quite some time though is this: joining a movement is something external. Others can see that you’re a part of something big, something that “looks” good, something that causes words of praise or awards…somethings that makes us “feel” better.

My caution is this: listen to the impressions of The Divine on your heart. What’s your motive? Do the movements you’ve become a part of match the way you live your daily life?

Are we saying the words “all are equal” or “black lives matter” or “brown lives matter” or “all lives matter” but living in a way that shows all lives matter on a sliding scale and not equally? Are we saying what’s popular so we can hide behind prejudice tendencies and/or racial bias?

I’m talkiN, my son/daughter ain’t datiN that fill in the blank because it sadly ain’t just black and white. It’s all flavors. I’m talkiN, oh, how do you even say that name; I’m not calling that person in for an interview? I’m talkiN, we don’t go to those people’s house across the street, ok kids? I’m talkiN, God loves all people, but we can keep a safe distance or just send a check. I’m talkiN, they’re not from around here, so we don’t need to try. I’m talkiN, “you don’t have an accent”, yes, I do, it’s just one that’s more common in America, is all, thank you!

On and on and on, it’s in ALL cultures -all flavors of us humankind. Many times, as humans, we prize “easy” and “same” rather than the joy that comes from cultivating the difficult, the awkward, the interesting. I know from experience, I am so much richer in spirit because of the deep, difficult and meaningful relationships that I’ve given and received grace upon grace.

All of us, as people, elevating one group over another is a disservice to each of us. Believing that our ethnic, religious, social, cultural (or any other) group is superior in some way hurts us all. I believe EACH group has beauty to offer and NONE of us need stand in the way of that beauty being brought to the table (individually or collectively).

EVERY tribe. EVERY tongue. EVERY nation. EVERY group deserves a seat, a voice and unhurried time at the table. How can we, as individuals, begin living in a way that genuinely promotes that…over the LONG haul?

Are we saying we stand with those who have been marginalized? Are we using words that lead others to believe we are helping those less fortunate when in reality we are lining our pockets…or receiving perks/benefits (some seen/known and some unseen by others)?

Are we saying we believe in the voice of women? Are we saying that women are so essential and vital to every conversation, but silencing (or limiting, dismissing, ignoring) them in our families, businesses, religious gatherings etc?

Are we saying that children can be themselves, share freely and be open, but questioning what they share and why? Are we pretending to be safe spaces and secretly doing more harm than the outside world can ever see?

All of us are flawed. Being flawed is not an issue. WE are all flawed humans.

Pretending to be faultless, pretending to be God, pretending that we have no issues is the danger. In the pretending, as time passes by, lies grow and reality blurs. Each of us have a choice…to choose to do the difficult heart-work of being real, authentic, honest, transparent…or not.

Throughout history, “image” has been king. Some of us haven’t allowed what the world at large thinks to influence us. Some of us blindly follow those closest to us (rather than working through situations). Some of us haven’t known how to break free. Some of us haven’t even thought about the possibility of things being any different. We place so much value on what a human says to us or about us. I have learned to place value on The Divine. The Whisper that I hear only when I choose to be still.

As long as we live, there will always be chatter. While I believe that we were made for community, I do not believe in hiding the Truth or using connections and groups as a way to allow evil to flourish. With every decision, we, as individuals, are either a movement for help or harm.

May we come to a place of facing, acknowledging and sharing Truth (even if NO one stands with us). Recently, a song from childhood just came out; I started singing, “though none go with me, still I will follow”. Yes, regardless of who’s with, for or against me, I choose to wholeheartedly follow The Divine.

Everything that we’ve worked so hard to hide, or others have said we must hide need not tie us down anymore. May we come to a place of being still and choose surrender, solely to The Divine, so that we can be free!

Freedom is a journey…a process. Everyday, we can choose Freedom. We can remind ourselves (repeatedly) of Truth. WE can give ourselves grace in the moment, for the moment and despite the moment/s. I’m sending love, courage, grace and strength your way today, fellow Warrior. Here in it, with and always, for you!

Common Day Hero: Yesú brought you into my life at such a young age. You were always wise beyond your years, even in childhood. Our adult lives have mirrored each other’s so much, without us knowing. I always held you dear. I AM grateful that we can go deep, be our most authentic selves and always, no matter the present hell, laugh fully. Laughter is such good medicine. I dedicate this post to you, Queen Sheeba!

October 30, 2020

Is there any area in our lives where we’re allowing external influences to drive/push us? We feel the anxiety…chest constricting…can’t breathe and still we allow ourselves to be driven by the words of those around us…those we deem more powerful or somehow “worthy”.

We know it isn’t what we really want, but we squash our own hearts and keep running. That describes how I lived until I hit year forty/fo’ty on this planet. Almost six months in as a fo’ty year old, I knew I had to change course. I felt a strong need to reach out and quickly get help or I would drown. I don’t know that I can even begin to express it all – I just felt a deep need to be made well.

Yep, that’s another throwback to my Sunday School days. It’s the sixth verse of the fifth chapter of St. John in The Bible. Depending on the translation you read, the exact wording varies, but essentially Yesú asked a man something like this: Do you want to get well? Do you truly long to be healed? Do you want to be made well?

That day, I felt an inexplicable pull to choose something that showed potential in bringing wellness and healing to my soul. I reached out to a neighbor who had previously (and by previously I mean like a year prior!) mentioned benefitting from an experience-based/life enrichment/heart-level training. When I asked her about it, she said, oh I want my family to go first. I said ohhhh…k. Thought that was odd, but I didn’t let it stop me.

I remembered that an acquaintance had also mentioned this training (three years prior!). I reached out and she gladly gave me the website and all other info that I needed to register. I immediately registered for the next available class that worked best, based on my husband’s travel schedule. That class was in April two thousand seventeen. I had NO idea what it would be like. I just knew I was going to give it my best; my everything!

I WANTED to become well. I WANTED to be healed. I WANTED to be restoreD (not a typo!).

There were a total of five classes to complete to “graduate” from the program. I attended that first class with no clue what to expect. I remained full of curiosity and for the first day, mostly an observer. I couldn’t seem to grasp what was really taking place. I wasn’t sure what the expectations were and/or I wasn’t comfortable with them at certain points, but I continued attending. I was going to see this through…completely.

As that first class progressed, I knew I needed to attend the second class. I started seeing a little bit. If I can compare the experience to eyesight/vision (not sure it fits entirely, but it’s what I got right now!), in that first class, the eyes of my heart were completely shut.

I opened them wide in the second class and the Light stung so badly. I immediately closed my eyes, took a deep breath and willed myself to slowly open again…this time, I held my hand up to shade my eyes. Not too bad. I could see so much – the delightful, the painful, the ugly, the lies, the shame and finally…the Truth. Long sigh. Slowly, my eyes adjusted and began taking it all in and…processing.

Truth had been there all along. I just couldn’t see past all the yuck till that moment. What’s equally sad is that I hadn’t realized I couldn’t fully celebrate the good, fun moments because I hadn’t faced all the yuck.

I had buried my heart so deep without even realizing it. I had buried it for safe-keeping; whole-heartedly believing that it was unsafe to let my heart be seen at all. That realization was crushing. I was then challenged (via a list of activities) to stand in Truth and walk through the difficult moments.

I was encouraged to free my inner child. The little girl whom I had silenced by stuffing her mouth so full. Others had silenced her as well, but some of the reasons I told her were: I’m shutting you up because I need to keep you safe. I’m silencing you in hopes that you won’t repeatedly be hurt, mocked, blamed, molested, ignored, dismissed, accused, ridiculed, called names like fat, ugly, weird and “not holy enough”.

The core message I carried unknowingly, since childhood, was that I was not enough. I was (and would be) abandoned because I was “not enough”…the blame was on me, always…regardless.

Fill in the blank, I carried it – not good enough, not pious enough, not worthy enough, not kind enough, not brilliant/intelligent enough, not feminine enough, not pretty enough, not educated enough, not fashionable enough, not slender enough, not wealthy enough, not quiet enough, not light enough (I’m a joyful brown skinned girl!).

I was finally in a safe space in that training room, to face as much (or as little) as I wanted with honesty and love. For the first time that I can recall, there was no judgement at all. I heard The Divine whisper “reborn” and I felt it to my core…my vision was completely restoreD!

Considering my upbringing, the most surprising piece for me was that true deliverance, freedom, healing and restoration began for me in a NON-religious environment! In that very first class, I heard The Divine ask me: so, MUST the individuals in this room acknowledge Me or AM I who I AM regardless of acknowledgement?

All the tears came then…how much had I limited The Divine and the work of The Divine without even realizing it? I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine is everywhere, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only occupied the spaces that our religious elders deemed worthy!

I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine speaks to all people, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only spoke/guided/led those in our religious group!

I grew up learning songs and verses that prioritized the call of The Divine on individual hearts, but we lived in a way that the consensus of the leaders/wealthy/powerful in our religious group carried more weight!

We smiled, cheered and at times even screamed in victory in our religious gatherings as we “amen-ed” that The Divine alone created (and treats) us all as equals. We sang and quoted lyrics/verses echoing that sentiment, but cowered in anxiety and fear at the sight of humans who claimed to hold spots closer to The Divine…or those whom we’d simply elevated based on external merit.

What I know is that I began experiencing (then and now) life-altering healing and restoration because I stepped in fully to do the difficult/rewarding work. I continue to recognize patterns and find healthy ways to be a cycle breaker in my daily life.

I quit beating myself up emotionally, mentally and spiritually at the end of this training. I have never picked it up again. I was analytical beyond reason, but since engaging this training, I AM introspective, creative and reflective in healthy ways.

I am still a very flawed human, but from that day on, I began extending and experiencing grace radically. I began embracing Truth in my core and living fully from my heart.

I AM safe and joyful because Abba/Amma holds me…regardless. No matter the level of hell coming my way, I choose daily (somedays, moment by moment) to cling solely to Truth.

If you are ready to do the difficult and most rewarding heart work necessary to begin living fully from the heart, I recommend one of the three organizations listed below. I do not receive any commission or gifts/perks/benefits from these organizations. I’ve just seen and heard good things. Every org has its flaws since we’re all flawed humans, but I believe healing and transforming work is happening here:

https://www.pathwayscoretraining.org/ (the program I attended)

https://choicesseminars.com/ (a friend chose this program when I presented both Pathways and this org. AND this is the org that I hear started it all…the story I know is that a single mom wrote the initial “curriculum” and it grew and morphed into many other individuals and orgs birthing/benefitting from it…including Pathways).

https://lifeenrichmentbootcamp.com/pricing/ (a friend attended this one, long before I met her!)

The picture I chose for today’s post is full of meaning for me. Lotus is the meaning of the name Kamala (sounds like come-ala). It’s the name of my mother and the name I chose as my daughter’s middle name.

The roots of the lotus may be in the murkiest of waters, but it pushes its way upwards toward SunLight. As it grows, each petal opens one by one to receive in goodness, Light and Love. The lotus speaks determination, beauty, resilience and strength to me.

On this journey with many unexpected twists and turns, I wish you the resilience and beauty of the Lotus, fellow Warrior. I wish above ALL that your soul prospers. I wish courage for you to choose that which keeps you truly well. Regardless of what occurs around us, we can choose wellness, strength, health/life.

Do you want to be well?

Common Day Hero: Sara, you are fierce, funny, full of faith and which other f-word can I fit in here?! There has always been a connection and I’m glad it only continued to grow stronger through the years. I AM grateful to have a little bit of Norma still here. She is beaming at you from the other side and somehow, at the same time, still carrying you here on earth. I dedicate this post to you, my beautiful French vanilla cousin, Sara Jean.

October 2, 2020

kind

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do something.

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he didn’t feel bad. Not today!

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe, I had to answer him at least five times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer/rescuer/savior.

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different! One is not “better” than the other – just different!

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then started walking…er, limping!

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality.

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause/process…then respond from my heart.

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not all the same. We need not be the same. Our differences if welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.

Many times we equate kindness to not speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know (in your heart) that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?

Common Day Hero: You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!). Aunt Karen/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.

September 25, 2020

fumbling

Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt like you were fumbling? And I don’t mean just once in a game…I mean, fumbling like it was becoming something on the regular?

May the words of The Divine ring true for you here…now…in this very moment. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. I continue to fully embrace the belief that there are no accidents.

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward.

And I’m good with it. I wasn’t raised to be ok with fumbling. I was raised to be perfect, to never miss the mark, to be extremely rigid about attaining “perfection” and always give the impression that I didn’t fumble.

What fumbling, faltering, failing…forward means to me is that I am not ignoring what needs to be addressed, not making something up and not making anything more than it is.

I AM simply stating truth. Acknowledging the impact of that truth. Sitting with it as long as I need. Reminding myself that self-care is not selfish and (slowly, but surely) prioritizing self-care. Creating a plan based on love for self, healthy boundaries and this statement of Truth:

I have everything I need.

This is a principle that was presented to me in childhood. It continues to bring comfort and peace to me. The Lord is my Shepherd; I have everything I need. (I lack nothing. I shall not lack. I shall not want). Verse one of Chapter twenty-three from the Book of Psalms in the Bible.

The Lord is my Shepherd speaks cared for, nurtured and safety to me. Each sheep is of utmost importance to the Shepherd and I am safe in the care of The Divine. I am taken care of and nurtured by The Divine.

I have everything I need when – promises made are broken, friendships fade, health fails, depression persists, loved ones relocate (pass on/away, transition from this life) and all hell unleashes on me.

I have everything I need because – I have love for myself (Divine Love is my firm foundation), I AM a Warrior armed with courage and Truth, I am committed to the journey of healing in every way – mind, body, spirit.

I have everything I need. And so do you, fellow Warrior.

If someone has unexpectedly turned the light off in your world, look for the smallest Light. The Light of the Sun, Moon and stars are always available…a reminder that the Light of The Divine is eternal. Listen for the Words whispered by The Divine. They are a Lamp for our feet and a Light for the path (Psalms again ~ Verse one hundred and five of Chapter one nineteen).

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward…with you because WE have everything we need.

Common Day Hero: You have faithfully cared for those around you. Even when you are unappreciated, you exude courage and dignity. When we were kids, I admired your beauty and intellect. Now, I also admire your strength and resilience. Smarita, I dedicate this post to you.

September 18, 2020

denial

It’s easy to see when those around us refuse to face the truth…especially if we believe it’s dangling directly in front of their faces. Something so big, it can’t be denied and yet…it is.

We see it all for others, but do we make excuses to hide behind the fears in front of us? Do we dismiss what is on our own hearts and minds? Statements or thoughts like oh, it’s ok. I’ll just stay quiet, so no one else feels awkward. I don’t want to cause a ruckus. I don’t want to draw attention when others haven’t said anything.

Have we compared and essentially minimized our story? Examples: my situation isn’t as bad as theirs. I’ve heard so much worse. I know this isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m talking about these issues when others go through a whole lot more.

How many times have we let others tell us (verbally or through their actions) what a “spiritual”, “proper” or “acceptable” response is? Have we let a spouse, friend, extended family member, social or religious group decide what our next steps must be?

Have we allowed other voices to dictate our feelings and/or the meaning of the actions done to us? Regardless of how “innocently” the harm occurred, it is still harm. Being stabbed is painful…no matter what the back story.

Sadly, so many people throw out verses and words like “extend grace”, “just trust” and “respond in love” to those who are the VICTIMS…those who have been wronged, violated, taken advantage of, mistreated, fill in the blank and sometimes repeatedly.

I fully believe the Divine always has room for the perpetrator and the victim, but I do NOT believe that the victim must be silenced. I do not believe that fear, manipulation or guilt are to be given a leadership position.

I’m reaching back to my Sunday School days for this: The One who promised never to leave or forsake you is true to that promise. Even when the support you thought you would always have changes and even if every one leaves, The Divine is with you.

IF you have been violated in ANY way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, you are not alone. I weep with you. You are worth speaking up for, standing up for, fighting for…always!

Wherever you find yourself today – perpetrator (looking in the window), victim (looking out of the window; wishing, hoping and screaming for a way out), you are seen and loved. The Divine is always with you…arms wide open to embrace you (or give you dap!) because Love heals.

Now let’s get the help we need. Let’s not ignore or dismiss anything; let’s invite Divine Love into our lives. Let’s truly care for and love one another in DEED. Practical points for us to “love one another in DEED” –

If the perpetrator is a friend or family member, may I encourage you not to let the relationship blind you to what is necessary? Help set up therapy, psychiatric evaluations or anything else that is helpful.

If you are the perpetrator, The Divine is waiting on you. Light, Love and Healing awaits. The Divine will walk with you through the most difficult of situations, Overcomer!

If you or someone you know is a victim, reach out to a licensed counselor and support group. Lean in to close friends who will prioritize safety. Stand in your power even if no one stands with you. The Divine will carry you through the storm, fellow Warrior!

Is there any area where we are in denial? If so, what is one truth we can sit with today? If we’re not ready to embrace it all yet, can we just sit with it a bit? Is someone close to us in denial? If yes, how can we keep ourselves safe and sane?

Common Day Hero: On the day I first met you, you stood up for me. I will always remember how much it filled my heart to have that day with you and Kochayan. I have always wished that you lived near me, but when I became a mother, I really mourned not having you close. I thought (and still think) of you often and especially when I desperately need grace. You are wise, welcoming, an amazing cook, witty and fun. Beautiful Sushi, I dedicate this post to you.

September 4, 2020

for our good!

Last month, I had to take my precious baby Midnight (our three and a half pound kitten) to get spayed. This required her to have NO food after ten at night. I fed her at nine twenty or so and she was content, but then morning came and…

I woke up to Midnight’s cries. She was meowing so much. She followed me and my husband, meowing and looking at us as if to say, don’t you hear me? My heart hurt just hearing her. Seeing and hearing her was worse.

We had purchased a plastic cat carrier a few days prior and placed it in our room. I hoped it’d become familiar to her and help her feel more comfortable. She went near it, sniffed around, but refused to get in it. So, when the time came, we had to pick her up, put her in and quickly shut the door (not pleasant).

She looked at me again; this time, through the holes in the carrier, it seemed her eyes were saying, don’t you see me? My husband put the carrier in the passenger side so she could be near me. I got in the drivers’ side and as I drove, the little meows turned into sadder, longer and then…angry meows. I started crying terribly and couldn’t stop. It was as if ten faucets turned on at once.

I started apologizing for her pain. I told her that I was so saddened to see her like this. I told her that she was so loved. I told her that I would always take care of her, even when it didn’t seem like it. She started falling asleep! She wasn’t tryna hear all that! What she knew was that she was now HANGRY!

As I cried and tried to comfort my dear MidnightMare(!), I heard that Divine, Gentle, Whisper…my dear Lal, do you see just a smidgen of how I feel when painful moments come your way? There is greater good coming from what you must walk through and My heart hurts when you hurt. I feel it all and I AM with you.

Can we breathe in this Truth today? Every.thing is working together for our good.

I did not say everything is good. We do not need to like it. We do not need to “fake it till we make it”. We do not always have a way to reconcile it. We may never understand it all this side of heaven. There’s some shitty stuff coming our way (maybe has already come our way…and repeatedly). Everything is not good.

We do not need to be “good with it”. We don’t always have answers or a logical explanation for why things happen the way they do. Regardless, the Divine is ever at work…on our behalf…weaving every single strand and patch together for our good.

In between the cussing, sighing, screaming unintelligibles, praying, crying and eating some form of frozen, soft, crunchy or warm sugar, I’m saying and sometimes singing these words “for our good”.

It is all for our good. The Divine has you…me…us.

Common Day Hero: Quite a few of us know the power of your prayers, the warmth of your hugs, the comfort of your quilts, freshly baked (or reheated!) fig cake and your homemade snack mix! Our family has witnessed many answered prayers, laughs, tears and “for our good” moments. I AM grateful for your presence in my life for over a quarter of a century, now! Nonnie, I dedicate this post to you.

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