Tag: breathe

February 3, 2024

sublime

As the years pass, I realize life is less than sublime…I don’t know if all of us believed (at some point in our younger years) that life was peaches and cream or rainbows and unicorns or faloodeh (falooda/faluda) and rasgullas!

Life is big and beautiful, gloriously difficult and fun, looming and tiresome…and from my perspective, so worth the living.

Speaking with someone this morning, I realized I have a wish/prayer for us all this month of love…

May you take as many deep and full breaths as you need.

May you light a candle, on the darkest of nights/days, even if it’s the only light in the moment…focus on the flame as you hum, sing, count or sit mesmerized by all that is illuminated by this smallest of lights.

May you walk in the park, or on a trail in the city, or simply down the sidewalk and bask in the sun.

May you find your way to a body of water if water speaks comfort, healing and joy to your soul…whether that be a pond, lake, swimming pool or the ocean herself.

May the sights and sounds of nature bring delight to you…the birds chirping and flying together (for reasons still unclear to me, seeing the V formation delights my soul!) , the squirrels and bunnies’ sudden movements, the beauty of the trees, the movement made by the wind…

May you be gently reminded of how much you’re valued, wanted…and needed here.

May you hug and hold yourself if no one is present to physically hold you now. The experts say we need eight hugs to survive and twelve to thrive…daily!

May words of affirmation and encouragement rise up through lyrics, verses, cards, comedy, your circle as well as pleasantly surprising and unexpected sources.

May there be moments of wonder and awe and…sheer delight and pure joy.

May dreams be awakened within you…vivid and colorful and carefree…may visions continue to come to you and fuel your HOPE (Heavenly Oxygen Permeating Earth).

May you find grounding techniques helpful.

May you touch five different things…various fabrics, papers, paint or other liquids…and may you fully feel them…the texture, the way it feels on your fingertips, the way it feels to hold…

May you look intently at four things and be comforted…maybe see some things never seen before.

May you listen to three different sounds and be soothed, encouraged, consoled, have creativity spark…maybe close your eyes to concentrate on the sounds.

May you smell two different scents and immerse yourself in the aroma…and where it takes you.

May you taste one sweet or savory item of your choice (or both sweet and salty!) and give yourself the freedom to truly relish it.

May you find comfort and courage and strength in all the above.

May you know that strength is found in letting our tears freely flow down our face…and body, in laughing till our sides hurt, in smiling at strangers as we pass, in sitting in the silence, in doodling, in dancing, in drawing, in yoga, in looking in the mirror and offering love to ourselves even if only through our eyes (words if you choose and of your choosing), in Pilates, in speaking with friends, in sharing with support groups and therapists and in so many more ways than I can even begin to list.

Fortitude to you…to us all, as we navigate what’s new and different and difficult/challenging.

Wisdom to us for/on this journey and always…

Grace upon grace.

Common Day Hero: College, the newness of things, the pain of the past, life in general…for all of it, I dedicate this post to you, Emma R. You are held, always…in the warmest of thoughts and most positive energy and by our ancestors whose strength and resilience flows through your veins, empowering and propelling you forward. Be bold and brave as you are evolving and ever-becoming…a beautiful butterfly.

July 21, 2022

timeline

Have there been moments when you’ve wished you had full say over the timeline of your life…and the lives around you?

Many moments have been spent analyzing and mulling over the happenings of my life, those of my friends, acquaintances…and even some people whom I haven’t ever met, just heard their stories.

My personal belief is that when situations beyond human control occur, The Loving, Sovereign, Divine One is ever-moving and unfolding a plan…sometimes, beyond comprehension.

I don’t have to like or understand it. It is alright for me to ponder and question. I know I’m safe to express all my thoughts and feelings. Humans may not always be able to handle it. Heaven can.

I always recommend intensives/seminars/workshops designed for emotional/mental/spiritual healing and self-improvement. I recommend professional help/therapy. I recommend support groups. I recommend nights out with friends. I recommend prayer.

I’ve benefited (and still do) from all of the aforementioned and hope it benefits others as well.

Sometimes, in quiet moments…alone, I fill the air with crying, cussing, calling on Angels, Saints and all of Heaven to cradle, console and rescue me.

Sometimes, I call or text friends who are emotionally/mentally/spiritually safe for me.

Sometimes, I read, dance, meditate, draw, pray, write, play with my cats…ok, let’s stop that long list here!

Maybe one more…sometimes, I scream, sing, say all the Scriptures and Truth statements I can recall.

A few Truth statements are:

I AM cared for, by Heaven…always.

My best is always at the core of Heaven’s plan for me.

What if this situation is not the death of me, but a reBirth?

What if pure joy can be found in the midst of allowing myself to fully face and feel deep sadness?

Greater is The One within me than the one in the world.

I will lie down and sleep in Peace because the Lord keeps me safe.

I AM a miracle!

What helps you in moments of disappointment, exhaustion, anger or feeling overwhelmed?

What helps you to release the weight/stress that life brings (sometimes, unexpectedly)?

What helps you in moments of sadness or grief on your timeline?

Common Day Hero: You are a compassionate daughter, thoughtful sibling, fun aunt, dedicated wife and an incredibly attentive and phenomenal Mom. Glad to know you! Rasheeda, I dedicate this post to you.

October 22, 2021

toxic

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment? Did it seem like being in a dark room for a long time and then suddenly the curtains were opened or a wall was knocked out, unexpectedly?

I know it’s different for each of us…when light comes in and we start seeing what we didn’t even know was present, but hidden or masked/disguised.

In the beginning, when toxicity is new whether it’s gaslighting, manipulation, verbal, mental, emotional, physical control and/or so much more, it may seem exciting…especially when dysfunction is all we’ve experienced or seen.

We may feel a rush of excitement; however slight or momentary…we may accept that this rush is fundamental to relationships. We may squash ourselves (turtle behavior) or over-exert ourselves (tiger behavior) to be seen/heard.

We may also vacillate between the two behaviors depending on the environment.

A friend and I were talking recently about relationships and she said, at this point, she would rather live fully in the space in-between silence and screaming. I could relate.

When I didn’t hold value and love for myself, I found myself longing and desperately looking for approval, affirmation and affection in relationships that were never truly for me.

Once I embraced myself fully in Love and Light from The Divine, I no longer needed human approval, affirmation or  affection because I began walking in the Truth that Heaven has me. I AM free!

Everything YOU need is already within you because Truth empowers, heals, brings freedom and liberty.

Toxic no longer equals excitement once we commit to heal.

Give yourself the space you need. Step back and see more clearly the spaces you occupy by choice ~ are they Truth-filled spaces of Love and Light? If not, are you ready to step out and away from all the toxicity (regardless of how long an individual or org has been in your life?).

Courage to you dear Warrior, may you choose your own health (emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) over length of relationships/ties.

Freedom, Fortitude and Foresight to you on the journey.

Common Day Hero: You are so intelligent, eloquent and kind. Many have been (and are) changed for the better because of your commitment to excellence in service; I’m among those. Today, I dedicate this post to you, DanaB.

May 28, 2021

shift

Shift…pivot…reroute…sometimes not by our own choosing, we are shifted, pivoted, rerouted…turned upside down!

I’m an internal processor so it takes me a little time to sort through all the things.

Some of us may be quicker at accepting change even when it’s forced/sudden/unexpected and that’s alright.

In the shifting, there is so much that can be learned…and unlearned. For us analytical ones, there are far too many angles and “what ifs” along the way.

Being introspective and reflective has proven a helpful/healthy practice if it doesn’t keep me in spin cycle…forevAH!

I AM grateful for solid friends who see me start spinning and help me “press pause”. I’m also able to choose to press pause on my own (sometimes!).

Pressing pause has looked a little like this for me:

Is this something I’ve already assessed/evaluated?

Was there a conclusion the last time this was assessed/evaluated? Was it helpful/comforting?

Will there (more than likely) not be a “suitable” answer for me regarding this specific piece now?

Am I willing to accept that this may remain a point of discomfort/pain/difficulty for at least some time?

If it seems I don’t have “answers”, what will help my mind/heart to choose Peace in/for this moment?

Take a deep breath (or three); I’m here…in it -with you -for you- alongside you…always.

Sending hugs, reassurance, prayers, good vibes…or dap if that’s what you’d like the most.

Common Day Hero: Comfort, warmth, integrity, diligence and kindness are what you continue to embody and have for over two decades now! Glad you’re in my life…and even more so when this shitstorm caught me off-guard. JW, you are so dear to me and today, I dedicate this post to you.

October 2, 2020

kind

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do something.

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he didn’t feel bad. Not today!

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe, I had to answer him at least five times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer/rescuer/savior.

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different! One is not “better” than the other – just different!

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then started walking…er, limping!

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality. 

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause/process…then respond from my heart. 

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not all the same. We need not be the same. Our differences if welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.

Many times we equate kindness to not speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know (in your heart) that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?

Common Day Hero: You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!). Aunt Karen/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.

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