I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I choose
to be still…
sometimes I close my eyes
sometimes I daydream
sometimes I stay in bed WaY past morning
I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I cry
I sob
I scream (alone)
I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I smile at others
some whom I know
and some who look familiar
and some whom I don’t recognize at all
I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I watch comedians and comediennes
I play with my furBabies, especially my youngest cat BluOreo
I listen to music
I talk with friends
I talk to Heaven
I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I read
I scribble
I doodle
I write
I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I simply sit…
on the floor, on the sofa with my TeenAngels, on the bed with my cats, at the dining table…
I am not okay…and in the absence of okay
I know…it is more than okay
that
I am not okay
because
always, anywhere, anytime
Heaven is okay
and
Heaven is holding me
Common Day Hero: I never, ever thought you’d leave earth before me. 31years is still too short a time to have known you, my dearest Maddy. My heart is shattering. Love and miss you so much. Hug Opa, Nonnie and all our dear ones for me and JadEvan, please.