Jael (Yah-el)

Yeshu has been preppiN me for a very long time. Still/always preppiN. And I’m still failing…always forward! Still standing on HOPE (heavenly oxygen permeating earth)!
Growing up, I didn’t want to be female because I saw how much freedom males had. Females couldn’t go out past evening. Females had to dress a certain way. Females couldn’t be “loud”. On and on the list went that seemed to be slanted against females.
Therapy, journaling, prayer/meditation, some difficult friendships, books/articles and workshops over the course of time opened the door for me to embrace my feminine side. It looks different for all of us. I AM now so full of joy to be a woman…to see that it doesn’t hinder me in any way. I AM free to be me!
In December, twenty-eighteen, I met a woman and her husband for the first time.
As soon as I met them, I saw a vision of a Bible story I’d heard like a hun’ed times, growing up.
I saw the Red Sea parted…I saw Moses (staff in his hand) and both hands raised. I said to the couple, raise your hands in victory now (not literally, but ya know!) because just like The Divine parted the Red Sea, you will see and experience something similar. The Divine will part the Red Sea on your behalf.
Sidebar: when I’m sharing a word, feeling, vision or dream with someone, I typically say I’m a flawed human so whatever I see or share, just take what resonates with you. Any vision/dream/words that I share are simply an offering placed on the table for the taking…or not! I’m completely aight with it because I whole-heartedly believe the beauty of love is choice!
And I also don’t always see or feel things exactly as they will happen. Sometimes, I don’t accurately express what I see or feel. So, I practice the same. When someone shares, I make note of the whole piece, but I immediately take what resonates and set the rest aside (for a later time).
In August, twenty nineteen, we saw each other again at a party. As soon as we hugged, she said, you are Jael (Yah-el)! A flash back to childhood days in Sunday School. I said, yeah, I know the story. I asked if she’d be alright exchanging phone numbers and staying connected. She said sure!
As soon as I shared the vision that day, she hugged me and we cried together. I’m an empath. I could feel the weight of her pain. She shared that she had recently experienced a deep loss. That was it. We went our separate ways. Anytime she came to mind, I’d say a prayer. Sometimes, I’d just close my eyes and send love her way.
That day, soon as I got home, I wrote up a little modern-day, lali-version of the story. I thought I have a message hopefully empowering if I’m ever asked to speak! Just had the honor of sharing it this week!
I AM Jael.
The Hebrew pronunciation of the name is Yaa-el/Yah-el.
In Hebrew, Jael means mountain goat. Mountain goats live in hostile environments; they are agile, sure-footed, methodical climbers. It is said they can scale twelve feet in one jump!
Here’s the story: Well, first, I say, read it fa yaself to verify erything! It’s in the fourth chapter of the Book of Judges in the Holy Bible. Again, this the lali version!
A woman, Deborah, was a judge, prophetess, wife and mother. She was wise and the neighbors knew it! So, they (the people of Israel) came to her to present their “cases” and she helped resolve them.
One day, she sent for Barak to come see her. He came ova and she asked him, didn’t The Divine tell you to rally up yo’ troops and meet at Mount Tabor? And didn’t The Divine also say that you would “get” Sisera, the captain of the opposing army?
Barak said, gurrl, if you go, I’ll go. If you ain’t goin’ then I fa sho’ ain’t goin’. Deborah said, oh Imma go witchu, but victory gonna come to our people through a WomaN (whoop!whoop!)
Barak said, yah, cool, whateva, Imma go witchu! I reallY like that Barak esteemed Deborah; he saw her as an equal. So, they went and the next day and Deborah tol’ him THIS is the DAY when the enemy will be given to you by The LordT! So, Barak and ’em met Sisera and ’em and The Bible say, Barak got all of Sisera’s army…like all of dem…except Sisera.
Sisera got so confused and afraid that he started runnin’ away. I keep thinkin’ with ALL those horses, you gonna take off runnin’? Aight. I don’t know. I wasn’t there; maybe the horses got spooked too!
So, Sisera ran up to Jael’s tent. Only reason he felt like he could go to that tent was prolly coz her huZband (Heber) was friendly with Jabin, the King.
Jael went out to greet Sisera. She said, don’t be skeered. Come inside; get out of the heat.
The enemy came in all smug. He asked for water, but we (Easterners don’t give water to a general). She offered him milk. He drank, he probably ate too and then he thought he would take a nap.
Jael used that opportunity to drive a tent peg through his skull and Victory came to Israel through the hands of a woman that day! Jael may have been shaking; she may have had to take some deep/full breaths; she may have screamed into a pillow.
What we know is that she stepped in and did what needed to be done in the moment. Destiny fulfilled!
During this month of celebrating International Women’s Day, are there any ways we can embrace womanhood more? Tap into the Divine feminine side of ourselves more? Stand in our Power more?
What has Heaven placed on your heart that has you afraid because it’s an “uncommon” path? What has you thinking “I’m just a woman” or “that can’t be for me”?
Truth statements help me remember how powerful I AM…whether I feel it or not, I declare it! May you receive strength from it as well. Pick up ya tent peg (Truth) and slay the enemy (lies in ya mind).
I AM a Woman! I AM a Warrior! I AM a Winner!
Courage to you dear heart; may this be the month you step into all that the Divine has for you!
Here for and with you!
Common Day Hero: I don’t know your whole story. I know you have overcome much. I see your beauty, strength and tenacity; it fuels mine. I AM glad you’re in my life. AuntYasmin, I dedicate this post to you.

adore

“O come let us adore Him” is the song in my head…and on my lips today.

I don’t sing because everything is exactly as I want or hoped it would be. I sing because my HOPE (heavenly oxygen permeating earth) is not in a human.

My HOPE is in Heaven…in the Divine. This has me untethered!

And there are days that no songs come. I don’t have steps to a cure of any sort for what ails us…just suggestions to help us engage (and not isolate). It seems that when we isolate-without-end, it’s more harmful than helpful.

Suggestions (hopefully helpful) – adopt a pet (if you don’t want a pet full-time then pet-sit!). If you’re not a pet person, volunteer to help some of our fellow humans in need. Sign up for a local art, self-defense, calligraphy, cooking, dance, coding, writing, speaking class…or something else that interests you!

May you find joy on the journey, peace in the process and delight (even if just for a moment) amidst despair this holiday season!

Common Day Hero: I see such a tenacity, fire and tenderness in you. May all of Heaven’s favor be upon you always. Aunty Hassina, I dedicate this post to you.

felt

This week, while standing amidst a crowd, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion for a woman whom I saw about two rows in front of me. I did not know her; what I knew was that I needed to speak with her.

I had no words; this is typically how it happens with me. I knew the words would come when it was time to speak (not my words and not from me). I knew the words that The Divine had for her would flow through me.

I have no control over what comes; it’s not premeditated. I can’t “plan” the talk; yes, my analytical side has attempted. Want to know what happens every.single.time? None of what I plan comes out…truly; whatever I’ve “prepared” just vanishes!

So, I’ve learned to let the words come spilling out when it’s time and I’m reminded of Verse thirty-eight of Chapter Seven from the Book of St. John in The Holy Bible that states, “…out of your belly will flow rivers of living water”.

And almost always when I share, it’s what the person needs in that moment. I never want to offend/hurt or insult anyone, so before I share, I typically give a disclaimer similar to this: I’m a flawed human, so please take only what resonates with you.

Back to this week, amidst the crowd…I walked up to the stranger, introduced myself and asked if it would be alright to share; she said yes! I shared what was on my heart. We both cried and hugged. It was a powerful moment.

I see moments like these as: Hugs from Heaven or Dap from The Divine…a reminder that EVERY human is seen.

YOU are seen!

YOU are heard!

Heaven knows!

Rest assured dear heart, you are not alone on this journey.

Hugs, strength and Peace to you from a fellow Warrior.

Common Day Hero: I AM grateful beyond words to have met you all those years ago, brave soul. You are such a delight, a force of good, a tenacious and adventurous spirit. Kayla, I dedicate this post to you.

Fazal

Fazal, Arabic for grace…such a beautiful word/name.

I’ve blogged about grace before, but just this week, I received the heart-breaking news that cancer has taken residence in someone dear to me…and grace held me as I began reeling; unwilling to accept the news.

I can’t even begin to express all the emotions that come up when the word cancer is mentioned…

First, shock/disbelief hit, then a deep, sharp and almost debilitating pain in my chest, anxiety surrounding all the “what-ifs”…the adverse effects or ineffectiveness of medications and proposed treatment plans, the probability of death being so much closer, concern for those in caretaker roles.

I immediately closed my eyes, took deep/full breaths, started focusing on my breathing and released each individual. I reminded myself that I cannot carry this weight. It is crushing…especially for an empath.

I inhale: observe more 

I exhale: absorb less.

Whatever you’re facing: cancer, career changes, child-related concerns, Covid, challenges in general…know that you’re not in it alone. Divine grace is waiting on all of us. Once embraced, we can extend it to all.

Fazal (grace) to you, friend…

On this journey, may we remember that grace is ever with us.

Grace carries us. Grace keeps us. 

You can rest, knowing that Grace has us.

Common Day Hero: I recently came across a note you wrote when someone very young passed away, unexpectedly. I was shaken beyond words. Your kind words brought comfort and hope. You have personally overcome so much more than most and in such a short time. Your acts of service do not go unnoticed. Opa, I dedicate this post to you.

plan

Personal belief: no human can plan as extravagantly…as detailed…as beautifully surprising as The Divine!

Countless times, I have seen The Divine pull things togethAH like no othAH.

Many of you already know that I was blindsided by divorce and it was finalized in April of this year (on tax day!). What you may not know is that the house sold and I had to be out by 14 June.

I’m a planner, but in this specific situation, I felt that I was to be still and trust. I knew that in Heaven’s perfect time, The Divine would lead me to a place prepared just for me and my kids.

Well-intentioned friends said I lacked good judgment; I continued to repeat what was on my heart “I will be Led to the perfect space prepared just for me and my kids”.

I know everyone around me was just nervous, concerned and worried for me (and really the kids), but what I also know without a shadow of a doubt is that I AM held, so it’s all good!

A specific area came to my heart during the first week of June and I immediately knew that I needed to start looking at places for rent in that area. No job, no promise of a job; just a sign from The Divine!

Although I have no job; I have proceeds from the sale of the house. Well, ain’t nobody tryna hear that!

Every.single.place I called wanted pay stubs or an offer letter showing an amount that’s up to three times more than the rent. No one wants cash and cash upfront? What has this world become?!

Anyhow, on Friday, 11 June, I saw a place and although I’d been rejected twenty-nine times already, I asked all the same questions and they approved me with no co-signer, no job and no offer letter!

They just wanted proof that I have money in the bank!

I was approved the next day and told that move-in would be 15 June.

I said, Yeshu, You already know that I have to be out of this house on the 14th, so I ain’t tryna pay storage…I called the complex again on the morning of the 14th and they said, you know what, come on through at five this evening and we’ll give you the keys!

Dj Khaled I Got The Keys GIF

IF you are being Led (being still and hearing the Voice of The Divine in your heart), may I ask that you continue to be still and move forward only as you are Led? May I encourage you to allow no earthly being to deter you in any way?

The Divine has you!

You can rest…trust…and see the plan come togethAH in a way that we can’t even begin to ask, dream or think!

Common Day Hero: I AM so grateful for friendships that have continued to deepen through the years. Friendships that have grown in authenticity; unafraid to face the difficult and awkward…embracing the freedom to simply be whether we agree or not because we understand that love has no prerequisites. Novi, I dedicate this post to you.

Amma

WOman…Sister…Daughter…Confidant…Mother…Divine!

Last weekend, I saw Amma…again. It wasn’t that I saw a face; just felt such overwhelming Love from The Divine as Mother for/to me…and my circle.

I was raised to believe that The Divine is Abba and Amma (Father and Mother).

But when I embraced and mentioned God as Mother to me, some were immediately uncomfortable…nervous. The very people who taught me verses about God not being male or female squirmed hearing Amma/Mother.

IF God is limitless, then The Divine is not limited to a masculine or feminine form.

I AM reminded again that it’s both-and…not either-or, even in this!

Abba/Amma be with you…always.

Common Day Hero: The kindness, hospitality, beauty, strength and unconditional/fierce Love of Amma is so evident in the way you live. It is an honor to have you in my circle. MilliC, I dedicate this post to you.

daughter

I have posted every Friday since FEB twenty-twenty. It’s early Saturday AM now and finally posting because the internet has decided to cooperate…everything unfolds in the perfect timing of the Divine so here ’tis!

Embrace the Leader within…

first, foremost and forever, I AM a child of God. More specifically, a daughter of Yeshu!

Regardless of all the names and/or titles humans take from me, daughter can never be taken away!

Hugs to you fellow child of God (insert praying hands/namaste)…for me personally, namaste is I greet you as my equal. I salute The Divine within you…image bearer!

Common Day Hero: Reassuring, comforting, safe…a few words that describe time with you and yours. Grateful for the way Our Great Spirit gently guides, kindly reveals and miraculously heals. Britton, I dedicate this post to you.

amazing

Life has brought the awful, amazing and appalling this season. Sometimes, all-together, in one day.

As I cry (read sob uncontrollably while alone in my car or closet), and process all this pain with more layers than I can even begin to describe, as I’m in the midst of all the awful, I also experience amazing grace.

I was raised with “hold it together”, “keep it together”, “don’t lose your shit” but the real meaning of those statements is that I was to keep up appearances. It was alright if I came unglued alone, in private but I best not let it be seen…ever.

I never wanted to raise my kids with that. I wanted them to be completely free to express themselves.

I signed them up for play therapy when they were younger. I created and bought journals so they could draw, doodle, write thoughts and prayers. I took them on walks and to the park to enjoy time in nature.

I created a gratitude jar, so that we could see and say the good – even in the middle of deep pain. I believe grief and gratitude coexist. I pray with them (if they want). I sing and dance with them (as best I can!)…still, I was unknowingly placing the very same burden that I grew up with, on my kids.

This realization led me to be very intentional in changing course. I genuinely did not want to raise my kids with that same stress. I sought out help through books, therapy and emotional training classes. I began redirecting myself; I started being and creating a safe space for my kids to simply be.

About four years ago, after intentionally working on myself, in every area, I received the greatest compliment. My children told me that they saw change…improvement in me!

The two changes were: I am silly with them more. I ask more questions (answers beget more questions rather than assumptions). What changed was that I embraced myself fully, the way God does ~ in love. And that made all the difference! Love lifted me!

When I chose to embrace the Love of The Divine, I began loving myself. That Love set me free and opened the door for my children to have the choice to be completely safe, secure…free…with me.

The beauty of love is choice. I know, I say it often…I believe it’s worth saying often because when we really know (accept/believe) the Truth, it sets us free!

What has us holding back (in the seemingly smallest or most insignificant way) from receiving Divine Love? What is one step we can take in embracing the Love of The Divine today?

And here’s your LAST chance to make a purchase during African American/Black History month, my friend at Out of Hiding is offering the LOVE(period) collection BOGO (buy one, get one FREE!). Get a shirt, hoodie or tote for you and someone you love…quick! When you purchase, you’re supporting a local business, owned by an African American/Black/Chocolate sisTAH of mine! Let Out of Hiding know that LALIjean sent ya!

Common Day Hero: You’re quick to speak Truth that is challenging and comforting. I’m so grateful that The Divine crossed our paths and orchestrated this friendship. I dedicate this post to you, risotto…Molé!

wordS

A new year is upon us! HAPPY and HEALTHY 2021 dear ones!

Every year, I find it difficult to believe that another year has flown by…already?!

I’ve been a “words” person for as long as I can remember! My word is my bond. Words carry so much weight for me. When given the time to process, I AM careful with my words. My heart is to only say words from a place of love and kindness.

When not given the time to process, I’ve said words that were hurtful to others. Words I’d like to erase. sigh. As much as is possible (when the parties have made themselves available), I have apologized for negative words.

At times, my words have been misunderstood. I haven’t always accurately stated a true reflection of my heart and haven’t always been given the chance to clear up misunderstandings. I’ve reconciled those within myself.

How many of us have felt the cut…the sting…the blow of hurtful words? I guess all of us. sigh. How many of us have felt empowered, uplifted and rejuvenated by encouraging words? I trust all of us!

wordS…powerful, inspiring, motivating…crushing…if we take the “S” and put it up front, we have Sword. I personally believe Truth is our sword.

Sometimes, circumstances cause our vision to become blurred. Sometimes, we are quick to doubt the Truth and believe lies. Sometimes, we grow weary and our strength is depleted.

If we are sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry or fill in the blank, may we let in the Light and Love of those around us. May we let the Truth be spoken and sung over/for us, so Truth alone takes root in us.

Dear fellow Warrior, let’s raise our Swords in unison…especially for those of us who have no strength to lift ours in this moment. Let’s put our arms around and under each other; let’s commit to support one another with love and grace. Let’s commit to kind words, gentle/affirming actions and silence as needed…and always, let’s raise our swords on behalf of our collective/total healing and health.

As we step into the new year, may we be empowered by Truth…to process each day, to fully face tomorrow and always to keep our heads held up high because even on the most difficult days, this is the Truth:

I AM who I AM says I AM…and so are you!

Truth comes through the words of The Divine (now and always)…the words of those committed to carrying/walking with me through difficult moments…the words of countless songs, stories and prayers.

Through my tears, I choose to let Truth wash over me, cover me, fill me…and I raise my sword. Full of gratitude for the fellow Warriors alongside me, especially in this season.

Common Day Hero: You are a Warrior, friend in need, Truth Teller and fierce Mom. Thank you for praying, believing and standing with/for me. NicoleR, I dedicate this post to you.

rest

The love of Yesú is Eternal…timeless…Divine.

I have sat with this statement at various points, through the years…trying to let it sink in and I sit with it now – nothing can separate me from the love of Yesú…nuh-thing. no oneever!

I AM always held. Always loved. Always wanted. I can never, ever be separated from the One who created me, placed dignity and worth within me, filled me with Everlasting love and Eternal hope.

I can rest in that Truth.

This has always encouraged me, but especially these past two months, I’ve been reminding myself often: humans can sometimes take external things – money, vehicles, land, houses, clothes, jewelry, appliances, furniture, fill in the blank…any external thing can be taken away. 

What can never be touched by another human are the Eternal gifts I’ve chosen to receive from The Divine: love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, faith, integrity and hope…just to name a few.

If you’re going through (or have gone through) a time when you felt robbed and terribly wronged or violated, I am saddened, hurt, upset and feel the weight of it all with you. I can’t claim to know what specifically will help us, as individuals, because each of our circumstances are complex and unique. 

May I encourage you to consider reaching out to a therapist, a support group, a true friend, a mentor to receive the strength you need to fully process…to sit with it all and completely feel and face the difficult…my hope is that we continually gain healing and health in every area. 

Give yourself permission to rest in the fact that there are internal/Eternal gifts that can never be touched by a human. I AM powerful is a strong reminder for me, especially in shaky moments. I say it often to remember Truth when lies are swarming all around and trying to pull me down.

Yesú remains a solace, a safe place, a strong tower, a refuge, always inviting, unconditionally loving, eternally patient, incomparably kind, The Best Surprise Giver (fa real!), Miracle-Maker, Ultimate Warrior, the solidarity of a loving sibling, the nurturing warmth of Amma (Mother), the confidence of Abba (Father), a faithful and forever friend…

There is so much more that could be said and I feel it still wouldn’t be enough to accurately describe The Divine. I have personally found in Yesú ~ Strength for this present moment and Hope for the next.

Dear weary soul, I invite you to rest.

Anytime I say the word rest, I’m reminded of the words of Yesú in Verse twenty-eight of Chapter eleven of the Book of St. Matthew (The Bible), “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest“.

Rest is a gift ~ for the taking, if we choose. 

Will we choose to believe Truth, despite what we may currently/physically see around us? Will we choose rest? Will we choose to fall into the Arms of The One who will never grow tired of us? 

For me, rest equals surrender.

I see The arms of Love reaching out to me, so that I can choose…surrender.

Surrender is releasing my burdens: daily, I choose to release negative thoughts, people and circumstances – and especially those over which I have no control.

Surrender is fully receiving the Love and Comfort offered: daily, I choose to focus on how loved, protected and secure I AM in Yesú. 

What does rest look like for you?

What comes up for you when you hear the word surrender?

Common Day Hero: You are loyal, intentional, a visionary and a listener/follower of Yesú. I felt your kindness and love from day one ~ you shared your dreams for the love of your life (glad to see how The Divine orchestrated all of that so beautifully!). It was a joy to dance and celebrate with you at my fortieth. I hold you and your family dear. You have always and will forever be Bhai to me. Today, I dedicate this post to you.

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