nationality

My parents are from India (dots not feathers – love to all my feather friends!).

I’m a first generation American (born in Tennessee). Love both countries something fierce, but then I love and am fascinated by all people/places!

Through the years, what it means to be “American” has taken on so many forms/meanings.

Regardless of nationality, we are all fellow citizens of Earth!

What I hope my kids see is: all of us recognizing the beauty in each and every culture, honoring the intrinsic worth and dignity of each human and increasing our circle to truly be inclusive of everyone…especially those different from us (in all the ways).

What does being American mean to you and your family?

Common Day Hero: Your kindness and generosity are seen and appreciated. Thank you for including me, like family, from day one. Today, I dedicate this post to you, Rickey and Keia.

forgiveness

Definitions for forgiveness are probably over a hun’ed. I have had to resolve within myself what forgiveness is for me, personally…practically. What best helps my heart remain pure, true and not stuck in revenge-mode?

For me, forgiveness is not forgetting…I’ve heard “forgive and forget” from so many well intentioned people. Nah maaaan, I don’t forget. For me, forgiveness is remembering without reliving the pain, the sting and all the negative weight of/from the incident.

Forgiveness is a journey ~ full of twists and turns, rough terrain and always the unexpected. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any clear direction. Stay the course. Sit with it…as long as needed (this may bother humans, but not The Divine). Pause a moment and just breathe.

Forgiveness is choosing to fully release (daily…sometimes multiple times a day!). And by release, I’m tryna say that I take a few really deep breaths, punch a pillow, go for a walk, light a candle, scream at the heavens, see a licensed therapist, angry draw, burn incense, join a support group, start the music or inspirational speakers playlist, quote or read Scripture and/or positive statements/affirmations of Truth…

I encourage any/all methods that help to fully release from our bodies the hurt, sadness, anger and negative energy that seeks residence in us. At our optimal, we are conduits of the positive, the beneficial, the healing and restoration of ourselves and all around us. Choose life. Choose the positive.

I choose to be a forgiver. I choose to be a conduit/channel for The Divine.

Actions speak, so I have practiced watching closely and believing the behaviors of those around me. I’m a “words” person and unfortunately, it took me several y-e-a-r-s to reach a place of weighing the actions of individuals. sigh. Regardless of the words thrown our way, what are the actions/behaviors saying?

Strength and courage dear one, as you face the difficult, painful and maybe frustrating Truth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal the offender apologizing. Forgiveness doesn’t equal the feelings disappearing. Forgiveness is a choice. I remind myself often that the beauty of love is choice. From a heart full of love for self, The Divine and our fellow humans, the gift of forgiveness is born.

Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t share the same definition. Reconciliation within yourself is crucial, but reconciling with another individual is not entirely in our court. We may need to reconcile and resolve within ourselves that the relationship/s we thought were solid forevah, aren’t. That is alright.

I have come to believe that although I continue to remain loving, kind and untethered, I am not responsible for other humans. I need not carry anyone, but myself. I am fully responsible for my behavior alone.

And, could it be that the people who walk out of our lives unexpectedly or those whom we need to keep at a distance for our own health’s sake are reminders of the promise of The Divine to always come to our rescue…always care for us even when we don’t realize how deeply we are being cared for in the moment?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have no boundaries. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness emancipates us to create a property line for our hearts and minds. Many people suggest that if our forgiveness was “real” then we would allow room for the individual/s who have violated our trust. Not so, my fellow warriors.

We need not grant access to those who have shown that they can’t be trusted. We decide who has access to our hearts, our time, our energy. When we unshackle ourselves from the grip of those who have wronged us, we are FREE to set healthy boundaries and honestly work through questions such as:

Do I need to answer this or does this call get sent to voicemail? Once I listen to the voicemail, does my heart need twenty-four to seventy-two hours (or more!) before deciding if I will respond? IF it is best that I not respond now, how can I release this, so that I am not carrying an ounce of negative energy surrounding it?

How do I set aside every negative weight, so that my heart remains free?

IF I have decided that a response is alright at this time, which method is safest for my heart: a phone call, text or email? Is this someone I need to visit in person? If so, do I need to take a real/true friend with me?

Only you can decide. My encouragement is that these decisions genuinely be made from our hearts, not in the heat of the moment and not from our minds. Our heart leads because the work of The Divine is always in our hearts.

Everything I have shared on my blog, thus far, I have walked (or am currently walking through) myself. Truly in it all with you. The yuck, the difficult, the painful and the triumphant!

Fellow Warrior, you are not alone. Be still. Hear the Divine Whisper. Create a plan. Move accordingly.

Common Day Hero: Many look at you and see a list of titles…all the roles you fill. No shade – you fill every role well – always available and willing. I see a little boy…maybe four or five years of age. He is adorable; looks carefree but carries more weight than anyone could begin to know. I hope that little boy breathes – fully and freely this year…the year of the fulfillment of the promises of Yesú. I dedicate this post to you, Chetayee.

movements…

There are a plethora of movements out there, born with good intentions. If you are led to join and can bring good to the world through it, please join. And let’s not be the judge regarding the org and movements our friends join. WE cannot even begin to know or fully comprehend what another human has endured, experienced or survived. May we truly grow in grace…for ourselves so that we can then extend it to all.

What has been so heavy on my heart for quite some time though is this: joining a movement is something external. Others can see that you’re a part of something big, something that “looks” good, something that causes words of praise or awards…somethings that makes us “feel” better.

My caution is this: listen to the impressions of The Divine on your heart. What’s your motive? Do the movements you’ve become a part of match the way you live your daily life?

Are we saying the words “all are equal” or “black lives matter” or “brown lives matter” or “all lives matter” but living in a way that shows all lives matter on a sliding scale and not equally? Are we saying what’s popular so we can hide behind prejudice tendencies and/or racial bias?

I’m talkiN, my son/daughter ain’t datiN that fill in the blank because it sadly ain’t just black and white. It’s all flavors. I’m talkiN, oh, how do you even say that name; I’m not calling that person in for an interview? I’m talkiN, we don’t go to those people’s house across the street, ok kids? I’m talkiN, God loves all people, but we can keep a safe distance or just send a check. I’m talkiN, they’re not from around here, so we don’t need to try. I’m talkiN, “you don’t have an accent”, yes, I do, it’s just one that’s more common in America, is all, thank you!

On and on and on, it’s in ALL cultures -all flavors of us humankind. Many times, as humans, we prize “easy” and “same” rather than the joy that comes from cultivating the difficult, the awkward, the interesting. I know from experience, I am so much richer in spirit because of the deep, difficult and meaningful relationships that I’ve given and received grace upon grace.

All of us, as people, elevating one group over another is a disservice to each of us. Believing that our ethnic, religious, social, cultural (or any other) group is superior in some way hurts us all. I believe EACH group has beauty to offer and NONE of us need stand in the way of that beauty being brought to the table (individually or collectively).

EVERY tribe. EVERY tongue. EVERY nation. EVERY group deserves a seat, a voice and unhurried time at the table. How can we, as individuals, begin living in a way that genuinely promotes that…over the LONG haul?

Are we saying we stand with those who have been marginalized? Are we using words that lead others to believe we are helping those less fortunate when in reality we are lining our pockets…or receiving perks/benefits (some seen/known and some unseen by others)?

Are we saying we believe in the voice of women? Are we saying that women are so essential and vital to every conversation, but silencing (or limiting, dismissing, ignoring) them in our families, businesses, religious gatherings etc?

Are we saying that children can be themselves, share freely and be open, but questioning what they share and why? Are we pretending to be safe spaces and secretly doing more harm than the outside world can ever see?

All of us are flawed. Being flawed is not an issue. WE are all flawed humans.

Pretending to be faultless, pretending to be God, pretending that we have no issues is the danger. In the pretending, as time passes by, lies grow and reality blurs. Each of us have a choice…to choose to do the difficult heart-work of being real, authentic, honest, transparent…or not.

Throughout history, “image” has been king. Some of us haven’t allowed what the world at large thinks to influence us. Some of us blindly follow those closest to us (rather than working through situations). Some of us haven’t known how to break free. Some of us haven’t even thought about the possibility of things being any different. We place so much value on what a human says to us or about us. I have learned to place value on The Divine. The Whisper that I hear only when I choose to be still.

As long as we live, there will always be chatter. While I believe that we were made for community, I do not believe in hiding the Truth or using connections and groups as a way to allow evil to flourish. With every decision, we, as individuals, are either a movement for help or harm.

May we come to a place of facing, acknowledging and sharing Truth (even if NO one stands with us). Recently, a song from childhood just came out; I started singing, “though none go with me, still I will follow”. Yes, regardless of who’s with, for or against me, I choose to wholeheartedly follow The Divine.

Everything that we’ve worked so hard to hide, or others have said we must hide need not tie us down anymore. May we come to a place of being still and choose surrender, solely to The Divine, so that we can be free!

Freedom is a journey…a process. Everyday, we can choose Freedom. We can remind ourselves (repeatedly) of Truth. WE can give ourselves grace in the moment, for the moment and despite the moment/s. I’m sending love, courage, grace and strength your way today, fellow Warrior. Here in it, with and always, for you!

Common Day Hero: Yesú brought you into my life at such a young age. You were always wise beyond your years, even in childhood. Our adult lives have mirrored each other’s so much, without us knowing. I always held you dear. I AM grateful that we can go deep, be our most authentic selves and always, no matter the present hell, laugh fully. Laughter is such good medicine. I dedicate this post to you, Queen Sheeba!

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