I have exciting news…I created a grief workbook…it’s available on Amazon now…and for all my fellow humans processing grief, HOPE (Heavenly Oxygen Permeating Earth) this is a comfort, a solid prompt or guide of sorts on the journey.
Amazon
MamaV
The energy, spirit, strength, Wisdom and healing of a compassionate and kind caretaker, whether parent or not, seems to continue on in future lives. My care giving began at quite a young age since my sister has autism and severe developmental delays. She taught me love for all people.
Caring for my own children is simultaneously the same and very different. Watching my children, through the years, is still, at times, surreal. They are kind, thoughtful, funny ones -praises! They are so swiftly reaching adulthood, well, what the state counts adulthood!
I’ve worked many jobs since I was ten years old (no child labor laws were broken!). Of all the jobs, parenting is the most challenging and rewarding, for me. And yes, it’s not just a job because my personal belief is that anything we do from a place of love isn’t merely a job.
The stamina of Heaven to you on this journey…I’m falling forward…into this season with grace for all and gratitude for some -hahahah!
Common Day Hero: MamaV, although I didn’t have the joy of meeting you here, since 19 DEC, I sense and see you. I AM thankful beyond words. Extra hugs to you and O’Neal. Dedicating this post to you, with all my love.
rocky
Don’t really have an explanation, but the movie Rocky is what came to mind today (10 FEB 2023). This quote just resonated in the moment. “You’re gonna eat lightning, you’re gonna crap thunder!” -Rocky, the 1976 movie!
I came across the above saved in my drafts and I immediately began weeping, yes weeping, not just a little cry…a shaking, sobbing, wailing caused by overwhelming sadness because my brother Mad/Maddy/Madison left earth in July and I never published this and I had written the dedication to him and MW; however, hadn’t shared it with them. sigh.
Now, here I sit, having difficulty grasping that our dear Maddy has really relocated. People all around ask how we are doing and I’m unclear what to say. Why do we ask others how they’re doing when the unthinkable, inexplicable and devastating has occurred?
Miss you Maddy. I know you’re happy and whole and free with Opa, Nonnie, Aunt Norma, Uncle Scott, GrandPa and GrandMa Kamp as well as many others on the other side.
Hugs, dear Maddy.
To all who know loss and grief, here…in it, with you. Hugs (or dap, if you prefer).
We are not alone in the sadness, anger, despair…all of it…including the moments of joy and laughter and celebrations as well…some chocolate, coffee, a slice of sugar, a cup of chai…together.
In it ALL…together.
Common Day Hero: You are so dearly loved and held in thoughts and prayers always. Opa’s work ethic, humor and curiosity live on through you. Today, I dedicate this post to you, my two vanilla brothers, MW and Mad.
bleed
I wasn’t the one who stabbed you and yet here I am bleeding from your reactions – intended for another.
How many times have we received hurtful words and/or actions but we knew it wasn’t intended for us? How many times have we done that to others…in a most unkind manner, hurl every negative knowing full well that the recipient isn’t deserving of it?
I’ve had so much trash dumped on me (sometimes repeatedly by the same group of people). I’ve been the recipient of some terribly hurtful words and actions.
What’s helped me in some excruciating times is remembering (or later recognizing) that just because something is sent my way doesn’t mean I need to keep it. I can discard.
How we discard varies – therapy, support groups, deep breaths, grounding techniques, meditation, exercise, drawing, doodling, coloring, singing, dancing, knitting, sewing, writing, time with those who are safe, alone time, walks, jogs, runs, time in nature, camping, glamping, massages, karaoke, swimming, sports (watching or playing), movies, shows, traveling…I’m stopping here, but there’s so much more!
I AM healed and I AM ever-healing. It’s both-and!
I remain committed to self-care and soul-care so that I can continue to distinguish/discern what’s valuable then discard as needed and devote energy to all that is to be developed.
I’ve been unkind to others, but sometimes there are people who are nothing but negative. May I encourage us to give space/room to all that is deserving of our energy.
How do we know who/what is deserving of our energy?
Is it authentic, honorable, admirable, beautiful, respectful, pure, holy, merciful and kind? If not, I need not give it my energy. That’s loosely based on Verse Eight from Chapter Four of the Book of Philippians in The Holy Bible.
We’re in this together, fellow human and friend!
Common Day Hero: You are treasured beyond words. I see you now/still in that copper-tone kurtha set. You are adorable and have such a sweet nature. I know your grandfathers are enjoying all the time with you. I will forever think of you when I see/smell lemons ~ colorful, vibrant, full of zest, tart, sweet, refreshing. I love you, Israel Grant. Today, I dedicate this post to you.
shadow
I live in the Shadow of The Almighty.
There is shade, safety and solace in the Shadow of The Almighty.
In my shadow, there is work that needs to be done. Sometimes things are hidden in the shadows…we are all the better for doing shadow work.
Shadow work is said to be work that reveals the parts of ourselves that we hide/repress. The hiding may be because of trauma, conditioning, upbringing, environment or other variables.
Sometimes we don’t like parts of ourselves because of familial, societal, cultural norms or the words of those whom we have elevated as “better” than us.
At times, we may feel pressure/weight, from the well-intentioned, but let us not be run by it!
Speaking of not being run by others…I have exciting news coming soon! How soon? Maybe not soon enough for our current culture but soon!
What specifically is in the shadows for you now?
Once named, we can begin shadow work so we can be our most authentic/free selves!
Let’s commit to working towards ALL that needs to be faced, sorted, healed…ever on the journey with you – together we shine!
Common Day Hero: Your heart was stomped on beyond recognition. I feel it. You survived nights that at times, may have seemed insurmountable. Grateful you opened your heart up to true love and now…her Light shines on, through you. Grieving this deep loss alongside you. Even in these darkest of times, your inextinguishable Light; your radiant smile, your kind heart are seen and felt. I AM grateful. Today, Uncle Farouk, I dedicate this post to you.
toxic
Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment? Did it seem like being in a dark room for a long time and then suddenly the curtains were opened or a wall was knocked out, unexpectedly?
I know it’s different for each of us…when light comes in and we start seeing what we didn’t even know was present, but hidden or masked/disguised.
In the beginning, when toxicity is new whether it’s gaslighting, manipulation, verbal, mental, emotional, physical control and/or so much more, it may seem exciting…especially when dysfunction is all we’ve experienced or seen.
We may feel a rush of excitement; however slight or momentary…we may accept that this rush is fundamental to relationships. We may squash ourselves (turtle behavior) or over-exert ourselves (tiger behavior) to be seen/heard.
We may also vacillate between the two behaviors depending on the environment.
A friend and I were talking recently about relationships and she said, at this point, she would rather live fully in the space in-between silence and screaming. I could relate.
When I didn’t hold value and love for myself, I found myself longing and desperately looking for approval, affirmation and affection in relationships that were never truly for me.
Once I embraced myself fully in Love and Light from The Divine, I no longer needed human approval, affirmation or affection because I began walking in the Truth that Heaven has me. I AM free!
Everything YOU need is already within you because Truth empowers, heals, brings freedom and liberty.
Toxic no longer equals excitement once we commit to heal.
Give yourself the space you need. Step back and see more clearly the spaces you occupy by choice ~ are they Truth-filled spaces of Love and Light? If not, are you ready to step out and away from all the toxicity (regardless of how long an individual or org has been in your life?).
Courage to you dear Warrior, may you choose your own health (emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) over length of relationships/ties.
Freedom, Fortitude and Foresight to you on the journey.
Common Day Hero: You are so intelligent, eloquent and kind. Many have been (and are) changed for the better because of your commitment to excellence in service; I’m among those. Today, I dedicate this post to you, DanaB.
trauma
“We can only heal what we feel” is something I began saying (and accepting) a few years ago now. I believe Thelma Box and Dr. Phil say something similar. May not be the exact quote, but what comes to mind is “You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.”
Sometimes we don’t even realize we are carrying weight…
Sometimes our trauma is buried so deep…and we don’t want to look into exactly how deep…
Sometimes we’re so exhausted because we started the process and it is just TOO much…
Sometimes we isolate thinking that no one can relate…
Sometimes we don’t know that trauma is what it’s called!
Always –
It is well.
We are alright to not be alright.
We can take as much time as we need…Healing isn’t formulaic.
We can process in the ways that best resonate with our hearts.
We can lean into the sadness, the pain, the anger, the weight…all of it…
We can lean back onto the support systems (personal/professional) around us.
Trauma care/help is crucial…The Divine walks alongside us through it.
How can we take just one step in the direction of facing/healing trauma today?
Common Day Hero: You are seen by The Divine, even on the days when it seems you’re all alone and invisible. Heaven is proud of you -all day, eryday…in all the moments. Warrior Deacon, I dedicate this post to you.
healing
Healing is miraculous, at times.
Healing is available through herbs, essential oils, nature and all that Mother Earth has to offer.
Healing comes through modern medicine…scientific/technological advancements.
Healing is taking deep breaths, singing, exercise, journaling, dancing, therapy, drawing, meditation, listening to music, coloring, reading, time in nature, stating affirmations, spending time with friends (human and/or animals!), etc.
Healing is heaven ~ we sing about it, talk about it, quote verses about it but ain’t nobody tryna make a trip today!
I have been Asking the Divine for healing in the form of a miracle for so many people in my life right now.
My eyes are filled with tears on a daily basis.
My heart is heavy and I’m taking deep/full breaths throughout the day.
I’m releasing ~ envisioning balloons (and at times bubbles) floating up to Heaven so that I no longer carry any weight.
Are you carrying any weight around a health test, a diagnosis/prognosis, a job, a relationship, something else that is traumatic/unexpected…painful, heart-breaking?
What helps bring healing to your heart? Incorporate one item into your day.
Healing is doing what YouR heart needs!
Your heart is WORTH it!
On the journey with you, fellow Warrior…always!
Common Day Hero: You are a devoted prayer warrior. Countless individuals have benefitted from your prayers (me and my children included). Thankful for your love, kindness and prayers. Elsie, today, I dedicate this post to you.
Blu
My fur-baby, Blu, is the most recent addition to the family! Yes, I now have THREE cats!
He came to me on 23 June – such a gift…a bundle of pure energy and joy.
He likes to be with me and the kids. Not necessarily held, but in the same area…if he doesn’t see or hear us, within a matter of minutes he starts “pacing” and meowing loudly till we join him.
I feel lighter because I have Blu which reminds me, it is said that a cat’s purr is healing!
Did you know that a cat’s purr…
Reduces pain
Relaxes muscles
Heals muscles, tendons and ligament injuries
Accelerates the healing of bones
Helps with healing infection and swelling
Decreases the symptoms of dyspnea
Lowers stress and blood pressure
Did you also know that cat owners have a 40% lower risk for heart attacks?!
Have I been successful in moving your heart to consider bringing a kitten into your life? No?
If no, what are some other ways in which you can care for your heart this week?
Be/bring your own healing. Take one step today – I’m taking it with you.
Common Day Hero: Unexpected friend for whom I AM grateful beyond words. Abba knew I needed you in my life. Thank you for sharing honestly/openly and for always listening. MikeR, I dedicate this post to you.
songs
Two songs have continued to come up for me now – one I heard quite often in the 80s; it’s just the chorus of that one that comes up, but haven’t heard it since…the other has some radio time still (it’s only five years old now!).
As far back as I can remember, there are moments, at various points throughout the day (not every.single.day but you know…), songs just come spilling out of my mouth! It isn’t premeditated; just happens.
Sometimes it’s a sad song that lets me feel the pain, sometimes it’s empowering…a reminder that I’m not alone. The Divine is ever-present. Sometimes, it leads me to dance – just fully dive in and embrace the joy of the moment.
Music is a healing agent.
It has always been a great comfort and joy for me. Different pieces speak – The beats/rhythm. The tune. The lyrics. The repetition…images and memories are evoked…HOPE stirred…faith renewed…love restored!
So, I wanted to share these two songs with you. Hopefully, they are a source of strength and reassurance for you, as well, fellow Warrior.
– Spirit wings by Joni Eareckson Tada
Which lyrics/poems/verses are coming up for you these days?
Common Day Hero: A seemingly countless amount of things interfere in relationships, but regardless of the interruptions we’ve had, seems the friendship is solid…you are a fiercely devoted wife and mother. Know that you are seen! I’m grateful for you CS (not Lewis – ha!), I dedicate this post to you!