Tag: process

August 20, 2024

okay

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I choose
to be still…

sometimes I close my eyes

sometimes I daydream

sometimes I stay in bed WaY past  morning

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I cry
I sob
I scream (alone)

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I smile at others
some whom I know

and some who look familiar

and some whom I don’t recognize at all

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I watch comedians and comediennes
I play with my furBabies, especially my youngest cat BluOreo

I listen to music
I talk with friends
I talk to Heaven

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay

I read
I scribble
I doodle
I write

I am not okay
and in the absence of okay
I simply sit…

on the floor, on the sofa with my TeenAngels, on the bed with my cats, at the dining table…

I am not okay…and in the absence of okay

I know…it is more than okay
that
I am not okay

because
always, anywhere, anytime
Heaven is okay
and
Heaven is holding me

Common Day Hero: I never, ever thought you’d leave earth before me. 31years is still too short a time to have known you, my dearest Maddy. My heart is shattering. Love and miss you so much. Hug Opa, Nonnie and all our dear ones for me and JadEvan, please.

February 11, 2022

space

The space in between where I AM and where I want to be is typically the most anxiety-ridden and fear-filled place. And that is alright. Anxiety and fear are simply signals/signs.

Once recognized…once I AM aware of anxiety, fear and all other negatives, I have a choice. I can ignore, dismiss or disregard – this has not proven helpful for me in the past.

I can gather the strength to acknowledge it. At times, acknowledgement is my biggest hurdle.

Once acknowledged, I can sit with it for a minute (not a literal minute coz ya’ll know I can sit for a LONG time!). Anyhow, once acknowledged, sat with, faced (read: stared and made faces at), I can take some deep breaths, smash a pillow and then chart a course of action to help work through/process it all.

Processing for me begins internally (looks different for each of us) and then externally.

So, first acknowledge where I AM: presence fully in the present.

Write it all out; everything I see/sense/feel.

Then, process through it (sometimes this involves an intensive – workshop/seminar). Long term it typically include therapy (counseling, art, music, dance water, spiritual healing) and support groups.

As the unfolding takes place, the processing reveals things never before seen or things buried.

Hold all of the things up to the Light ~ sit with it, meditate on it, speak about it with those who are safe, pray about it and please do anything else that helps and causes no harm.

What needs to be discarded (holds no value/positive energy)? What needs to be dusted off and given space? What needs a long-term care plan?

What is the dream you’re holding?

I believe all of us have dreams – we’re either living the dream, working towards the dream or have buried the dream. For those who buried dreams or had dreams buried by someone else, this journey is to unearth the dream, make room for it, formulate a plan so we can fully live the dream, the rest of our days.

Fully enjoy where you are now.

Keep dreaming and journaling/processing it all.

Work towards where you wanna be.

What is the dream you’re unearthing…holding…building or reBuilding? I’m here with/for you!

Common Day Hero: You work tirelessly to ensure your family is well taken care of always. You live in light of eternity. You show up for ya friends; we love you. Beayonka, I dedicate this post to you today.

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