With all that is before us…a seemingly endless list of possibilities, what continued to come to me this week was, pursue kindness.
That my friends, is difficult beyond expression when kindness is not what’s being thrown my way. And as my kids will tell you, a lalism they’ve grown up hearing is “difficult, but not impossible”. sigh.
This first quarter of twenty-twenty1 found me taking so many more deep breaths. Deep being the operative word! With all the arrows and darts of unkindness coming my way, I had to repeatedly (multiple times a day) remind myself to be gentle and kind to myself.
Only when we pursue kindness for our own hearts can we genuinely and fully extend kindness to others.
It seems regardless of culture, heritage or background, we’re told to be kind to others. While that’s good, I feel there is no solid base if we aren’t first kind to our own selves.
It’s back to The Bible…love your neighbor as yourself. If we don’t love ourselves, we won’t be kind to ourselves and we’re not really a help to our neighbors (across the street and around the globe).
For years, I was seeking kindness from others, but not giving kindness to my own heart. I was raised with no margin for error, no room at all for mistakes…perfection was required.
I failed miserably in that environment and sadly, was so unkind in my words…to self and others. Buried underneath all the “right words” and rules was a kind heart just waiting to be set free…to simply breathe.
A few years ago, I chose something different. I chose kindness for myself and it began/continues to grow like a field of beautiful flowers available to all around me.
I learned to listen more, to ask more questions (rather than make statements) and I began redirecting myself. As soon as unkind words, blame and shame enter my mind, I take time to evaluate it all.
I hold up all dark words to the Light and give myself time (sit with it) to see if there’s any Truth there. I no longer feel anxiety to rush and “fix” things. I AM at peace.
After I’ve taken time to evaluate it all, I say you can leave now or I say, that’s a lie; I only cling to Truth. I also say, that’s not me. I have literally done a little jig to “shake off” the negativity from me and my space!
It is alright to acknowledge when I have chosen to be helpful or hurtful to myself and others. It is alright for me to evaluate and change course as necessary so that I’m living fully from a place of kindness and love.
I need not spin in guilt, anxiety, shame, what-ifs, fear or allow ridicule and condescending voices to “take over” my mind. I can let all the feelings out and not accept the negative roots that are trying to settle into my space.
This is what has worked/is working for me – evaluate. sit with/face it all (take all the time your heart needs). release. speak/write/sing/dance Truth…repeat!
Are you kind to yourself, dear one? What helps you choose kindness? Even in the difficult moments when the accusing, shaming, hurtful, fill in the blank voices seem so loud, what helps you cling to Truth?
Close your eyes with me. Embrace kindness for your heart.
Once embraced, kindness flows like cool, refreshing waters to your heart as often as you wish and you now have the ability to extend it generously to all.
Common Day Hero: Your prayers continue to encourage and strengthen me. As soon as you heard about my pain, you were here. I can’t begin to express all the ways that filled my heart. JessicaS, I dedicate this post to you.