Tag: selfcare

October 5, 2023

commit

The world is loud and noisy.

For our own health’s sake, which in turn affects those around us, we can commit to silence the noise. We may not always have a say about external noise; however, we can commit to silence the noise near and within us…to the best of our ability – below are some suggestions that may resonate with you:

Commit to silence the noise by

practicing being in silence for 3minutes a day @minimum

IF that needs to be in ya closet with ya eyes closed OR staring out at the lake…just silence

Commit to silence the noise by

choosing 1 day a week OR month of 0 social media and/OR no TV, Netflix, Hulu, appleTV etc

Commit to silence the noise by

silencing the phone for a certain amount of time while awake (bedtime doesn’t count here)

Commit to silence the noise by

meeting with a therapist and/or life coach regularly

Commit to silence the noise by

joining a support group

Commit to silence the noise by

walking away from gossip

Commit to silence the noise by

taking full/deep breaths every day -practice fully inhaling for five; holding for seven and exhaling for nine

Commit to silence the noise by

sitting or standing in silence (not doing anything else) while listening to 1 instrumental piece

Commit to silence the noise by

reading Scripture

writing out Scriptures on index cards or colorful card stock (or construction paper!)

and if ya find it helpful, tape in a prominent place OR keep in your vehicle’s cup holder and read every time you enter your vehicle (before driving!)

Commit to silence the noise by

drawing freeStyle

doodling

coloring in a coloring book

Commit to silence the noise by

using grounding techniques – move slowly through each of the following:

look at (really see) and count 5 different things in the room

touch 4 things such as feeling the fabric of your outfit

listen to/focus on 3 distinct sounds (sometimes closing eyes may help during this)

taste 2 different things (take your time with each piece of fruit, chocolate, cheese…)

smell an essential oil or perfume

Commit to silence the noise by

picturing a mental image (the ocean, mountains, the forest, a park, the sky, a rainbow…something else)

Commit to silence the noise by

Saying affirmations out loud with ya hand raised if ya like!

I AM essential, I AM loved, I AM healed

I commit to be still

I commit to live from a place of rest (acronym: Releasing Every Sabotaging Thought -author unknown)

I AM free

Commit to silence the noise by

choosing a day to simply stay in (and for those of us who stay in too much already; go out now!)

Commit to silence the noise by

lighting a candle, maybe sit in nothing but the light of that candle and watch the flame

Commit to silence the noise by

meditating

listening to Scriptures or affirmations – it is a joy for me to read Scripture, quotes, poems, affirmations, letters for individuals as well as gatherings of any kind. Yes, call or text to commission -469.585.3723 (smiles and dap)!

Commit to silence the noise by

choosing to be silent for a whole 24hours!

Commit to silence the noise by

choosing what brings your heart contentment, peace and joy

Common Day Hero: She rises early to ensure that all is well, in her heart as well as her home, for her sweet family. She works full time within the home and for the congregation she serves alongside her family as well as at her place of employment. She is gentle and firm, soft and strong, present in every moment. I AM grateful to have her in my circle and feel so honored by her. Today, I dedicate this post to Alice G…Heaven’s best to you and yours, always.

June 3, 2022

family

Family.

“The descendants of a common ancestor” is one of the meanings the dictionary lists.

In addition to “blood”, I know “family” to be the people with whom I choose to keep healthy bonds, commitments and traditions regardless of background, heritage, ethnicity, etc.

There are people in my life whom I consider family; they aren’t “blood” and, at times, they’ve been more present in all the ways when blood couldn’t or chose not to be.

There have been those whom I became so attached to, but they didn’t share the same vibes or sentiments. That’s extremely painful…and quite a lesson – EverY time!

My nature is such that I love ALL people (thanks to my Dad) and most animals (thanks to my Mom!).

Learning and reLearning healthy boundaries…sigh. Finally accepting behaviors instead of just listening to words without supporting evidence/matching behavior.

Loving fully and freely – first myself, so that I can then from a healthy place love others well.

I AM loving myself first.

I AM loving myself fully and freely ~ the way The Divine loves me.

I AM taking care of myself in ALL the ways.

Are you in a place that feels like repeat? It is alright.

Grace upon grace to you fellow Warrior!

Are you prioritizing your own health ~ spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, relationally, financially?

If not, how can you take one step today towards healing? Remember, small steps towards big change!

Common Day Hero: I see your bold, brave heart shining through…always. You are a Warrior of a Woman, a devoted wife, a MARVELous Mom and so much more! You are seen…maybe not always by humans, but for shO by Heaven! Today, I dedicate this post to you, dear Kena.

October 22, 2021

toxic

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment? Did it seem like being in a dark room for a long time and then suddenly the curtains were opened or a wall was knocked out, unexpectedly?

I know it’s different for each of us…when light comes in and we start seeing what we didn’t even know was present, but hidden or masked/disguised.

In the beginning, when toxicity is new whether it’s gaslighting, manipulation, verbal, mental, emotional, physical control and/or so much more, it may seem exciting…especially when dysfunction is all we’ve experienced or seen.

We may feel a rush of excitement; however slight or momentary…we may accept that this rush is fundamental to relationships. We may squash ourselves (turtle behavior) or over-exert ourselves (tiger behavior) to be seen/heard.

We may also vacillate between the two behaviors depending on the environment.

A friend and I were talking recently about relationships and she said, at this point, she would rather live fully in the space in-between silence and screaming. I could relate.

When I didn’t hold value and love for myself, I found myself longing and desperately looking for approval, affirmation and affection in relationships that were never truly for me.

Once I embraced myself fully in Love and Light from The Divine, I no longer needed human approval, affirmation or  affection because I began walking in the Truth that Heaven has me. I AM free!

Everything YOU need is already within you because Truth empowers, heals, brings freedom and liberty.

Toxic no longer equals excitement once we commit to heal.

Give yourself the space you need. Step back and see more clearly the spaces you occupy by choice ~ are they Truth-filled spaces of Love and Light? If not, are you ready to step out and away from all the toxicity (regardless of how long an individual or org has been in your life?).

Courage to you dear Warrior, may you choose your own health (emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) over length of relationships/ties.

Freedom, Fortitude and Foresight to you on the journey.

Common Day Hero: You are so intelligent, eloquent and kind. Many have been (and are) changed for the better because of your commitment to excellence in service; I’m among those. Today, I dedicate this post to you, DanaB.

August 20, 2021

anger

Anger, I was told was a very bad thing. I was taught that only those who had not fully given themselves to God, had it! Sadly, for quite a bit of my life, I carried so much guilt and shame around that. 

What I’ve since learned is:

Anger isn’t a waste of energy; it isn’t worthless; it isn’t bad or negative; it simply is…

We are alright to get angry…to allow ourselves to feel anger. Anger is an emotion.

It is our action/choices when angry that can be negative. May we not cause ourselves, or others, harm.

Anger is valid. Anger serves a purpose: it typically highlights something that needs our attention.

Find healthy ways for your mind, body, heart to process anger: therapy, spiritual guidance, a support group…

Almost always, anger is a secondary emotion.

Find out what’s behind that anger. Is it hurt, sadness, disappointment, fear…childhood trauma?

Take time to process and talk through the anger. You’re not alone in it. We’re on this journey together: processing, learning, growing – on the daily.

Common Day Hero: You are faithful in the small things. Even when life threw so much negative your way, you remained steady, especially in faith. Grateful for your words of truth always. Sharonda, I dedicate this post to you.

 

February 12, 2021

secure

HEY!

I want to let you know this before and after I share my thoughts because I’m SO excited about this!

February is the LOVE month…a time to celebrate the infinite love of The Divine, love for self and love for ALL. In America, it is also the month we choose to highlight/recognize African American/Black History…to share stories of love, inspiration, tenacity, innovation, justice and the fight for true freedom for all.

My friend at Out of Hiding is offering the LOVE(period) collection BOGO (buy one, get one FREE!) this whole month. Don’t put it off now…get a shirt, hoodie or tote for you and someone you love before they sell out…fast! And please let Out of Hiding know that you heard about it first from LALIjean!

This season of my life has really shown me the people/places where I AM secure.

When I hear the word secure, I immediately think safe. However, safe and secure are two separate things. The definitions that resonate in this moment are: safe says that I’m protected from harm, danger…fill in the blank. Secure says I’m firmly attached, grounded and not lost.

What I know is that I AM always secure in the arms of The Divine…my Yesú/Yeshu/Isa/Jesus.

When in the presence of a secure human, we are safe because we know that we are secure! When we’re in a space that is secure, we can fall apart and it is alright.

We can cry/sob/wail/scream/do-pretty-much-anything and not fear being too much or not enough. We know we won’t “be told” or feel like we shouldn’t behave in a certain way.

We can talk about the same thing again and not be beaten with religious, societal or cultural “supposed tos”. We can give ourselves “permission” to feel without fearing a fix, judgment or a list of “must-dos”.

We can breathe…and just BE!

We can also be a mess, but not messy. We can be disturbed, but not disturbing in return. Secure!

May we grieve the people we thought were safe and/or secure. May we grieve the friendships/relationships that are gone because of death, divorce, growth or other unforeseen/unknown reasons. 

May we grieve that not everyone has the capacity to grow with/alongside us.

And as we grieve, may we give gratitude for those who stayed…those who grew with us…those who genuinely love us…celebrate us and challenge us to be our best always. Grief and Gratitude coexist.

Let’s find and/or create spaces where we can really breathe, sit and truly BE…secure.

And here’s the “after”…my friend at Out of Hiding is offering the LOVE(period) collection BOGO (buy one, get one FREE!) this whole LOVE and African American/Black History month. Get a shirt, hoodie or tote for you and someone you love before they sell out…fast! OoH, almost forgot, when you purchase, you’re supporting an African American/Black/Chocolate sisTAH of mine! Let Out of Hiding know that LALIjean said that!

Common Day Hero: You are someone that I AM secure with and hope I’m a secure space for you as well. You are kind, thoughtful, witty and beautiful. Wish you still lived in the area; I miss knowing that you were just twenty minutes away. sigh. Grateful you’re in my life. Today, I dedicate this post to you, JennV!

October 2, 2020

kind

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do something.

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he didn’t feel bad. Not today!

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe, I had to answer him at least five times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer/rescuer/savior.

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different! One is not “better” than the other – just different!

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then started walking…er, limping!

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality. 

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause/process…then respond from my heart. 

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not all the same. We need not be the same. Our differences if welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.

Many times we equate kindness to not speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know (in your heart) that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?

Common Day Hero: You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!). Aunt Karen/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.

September 11, 2020

pause

It seems society (worldwide) actually encourages/enjoys pushing play. Messages all around us have our minds racing literally ev.er.y minute. And some of our minds start racing when we finally fall into bed at the end of an already long day!

Whatever we title it – play, perform, run – going non-stop is praised and glorified. Some of us are on the go because our work demands it and we fear switching careers or speaking up. Some of us say we’d like to see change and we want to be a part of change. Do we want to lead or help cultivate the much-needed change?

The accolades of other humans isn’t my personal goal anymore, so I’m pressing pause on the regular. Not everyone around me likes or understands the “pauses” and that is alright with me! I know that pressing pause is necessary for me to stay healthy.

For too long, I was running…on fumes. Taking care of everyone else around me…being in tune to the thoughts and words and requirements of others, but not my own. IF this is true for you, may I share what I’ve found helpful?

Daily: Make time for deep/intentional/focused breathing, meditation, prayer, reading (silently and aloud) affirmations such as: kind words, encouraging phrases and verses, journaling (this includes, notes on your phone or other electronic device!) and physical activity even if it’s just five minutes a day!

Weekly: Make time for reflection. Acknowledge the challenging. Applaud the positives. Make note of all that deserves gratitude. Connect with that inner circle of people; the much-needed village.

Monthly: Make time for at least one weekend day with no must-do activities…a sincere day of leisure with no requirements what-so-ever!

Quarterly: Make time for a weekend away (such as camping, swapping places with a close friend or renting a space – airbnb, bed and breakfast, hotel). Resist the urge to fill the weekend with activities. Give yourself (and your tripmates) time to just sit.

Yearly: Make time for a true vacation (no work!). If time and resources allow, take an international trip every few years to experience more of the beauty around our world.

Each of us are wired differently, but I hope the above is of some help in creating a plan to pause. As we go about our day/week, let’s pay attention to this: are we pressing pause as often as we need just for ourselves?

Common Day Hero: When I think of learning how to love and prioritize one’s self (self-care), regularly choosing moments of solitude, enjoying food that tastes good and is good for our bodies, you come to mind. You are considerate, funny and such a comfort to know. I will always remember your kindness to me and my sister in our younger years; it continues to warm my heart. Lisa, I dedicate this post to you.

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