Tag: speakup

October 9, 2020

voice (for the voiceless)

Years ago, when I first used that phrase “voice for the voiceless”, I thought it was only for a few…my sister (who has autism), those with intellectual disabilities and those who no longer had family. As time passed, I realized it’s for anyone. It’s for (fill in the blank). It’s inclusive. It’s for us ALL.

At some point, we may all have felt that we had no voice, or our voice didn’t count. What I didn’t fully realize (till a few short years ago) was that the little girl (my inner child) who didn’t feel worthy, safe, valuable enough to stand up for…who never felt enough – not good enough, not intelligent enough, not attractive enough, not spiritual enough, not funny enough, etc…had a voice…and could use her voice!

Voice.for.the.Voiceless.

I found my voice and lost it and found it and lost it so much over the years. Ok, some years, I just sat on it. I was sad, disappointed and afraid at different points on this journey. I took to heart the words that other humans said. Some well-intentioned, some hurtful-not-helpful, some unkind and some positive.

My words to myself were cutting…an attempt to “beat myself into shape” mentally. I didn’t realize I was silencing myself. As much as others hurt me, I didn’t see that I had joined them in squashing my own voice.

Also, what I believed for so long was that my voice could be taken, but what I know today is that I need not give my voice away. Words may be said, hurtful actions taken against me, but I can still stand on the solid ground of Truth. I can still speak up…even if it is just a Whisper.

IF my voice is literally stripped away, I can write. I can type. I can sign (not fluently!). I can wave my hands, a flag, a sign/poster. So, I will…for myself…for those who are differently abled…for those in a verbally/physically/mentally/emotionally or spiritually abusive relationship feeling no hope of relief…for those seeing no way out and feeling alone…for those trapped in their minds unable to express the myriad of thoughts…for those similar to my sister…for all who cross paths with me and are in need of a Voice.

I AM a voice for the voiceless.

Some days are exhausting beyond description. Some days are excruciatingly painful. Some days I feel so alone. I know I’m never alone, but some days it feels like I’m so alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. In the difficult moments, I AM reminding myself of these truths:

The Divine is ever-present, ever-near, always available for a chat. Even in moments when I feel distance, I close my eyes or take a deep breath and immediately sense Peace. I am not saying it’s always rainbows and butterflies and chocolate chip cookies. I am saying, we are promised the Presence of Peace, always.

We are not promised that this life will be comfortable or easy (although we tend to consistently seek that!). We are promised that we will never be abandoned, never be alone because the Presence of The Divine is with us.

The Divine is always available for a hug via a breeze, the waves/sounds of the ocean, the smile of a stranger, laughter, a song that moves our soul, shared tears and an innumerable amount of other ways. Take a deep breath or close your eyes or both and feel the Peace that surpasses all understanding.

Earlier this week, a friend sent me a Power/Affirmation/Truth statement that she wrote. It was/is thought-provoking and empowering so I wanted to share it for us all…I recommend reading it aloud and loudly if you can/want!

“Don’t be a Footnote. Write Your Own Story – I Write My Story. Breaking the Shackles of Expectations; I Soar Free, I Fly High. I May Win, Face Defeat or Just Get By. But I Own My Story. I define My Destiny. My Dreams, My Being. I Walk to My Own Beat and Sing to My Own Song. Never Mind the Conversations Around Me, About Me; Words of Hate May Become The Wind Beneath My Wings. I Am Not An Afterthought, Never a Footnote. I am the Headline, the Punchline. I Sweat my Days and Breathe in the Nights. I Laugh, I Tear Up, I Tread through, I Get Tired. But Never Give Up and Never Give In. I Live My Adventure. I Write My Own Story”. Gauthami Vemula, Founder: UGauGrrl.com

Also, fellow/caring humans are just a phone call, text, video chat or drive/flight away. Speak up! Reach out! HERE for and with YOU! We are not alone!

Common Day Hero: You are brave. You have a genuine love for all people. You have taken care of many around you and it does not go unnoticed. You are such a creative soul and I believe the world really needs your art. Sarah, I dedicate this post to you.

October 2, 2020

kind

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do something.

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he didn’t feel bad. Not today!

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe, I had to answer him at least five times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer/rescuer/savior.

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different! One is not “better” than the other – just different!

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then started walking…er, limping!

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality. 

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause/process…then respond from my heart. 

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not all the same. We need not be the same. Our differences if welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.

Many times we equate kindness to not speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know (in your heart) that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?

Common Day Hero: You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!). Aunt Karen/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.

September 18, 2020

denial

It’s easy to see when those around us refuse to face the truth…especially if we believe it’s dangling directly in front of their faces. Something so big, it can’t be denied and yet…it is.

We see it all for others, but do we make excuses to hide behind the fears in front of us? Do we dismiss what is on our own hearts and minds? Statements or thoughts like oh, it’s ok. I’ll just stay quiet, so no one else feels awkward. I don’t want to cause a ruckus. I don’t want to draw attention when others haven’t said anything.

Have we compared and essentially minimized our story? Examples: my situation isn’t as bad as theirs. I’ve heard so much worse. I know this isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m talking about these issues when others go through a whole lot more.

How many times have we let others tell us (verbally or through their actions) what a “spiritual”, “proper” or “acceptable” response is? Have we let a spouse, friend, extended family member, social or religious group decide what our next steps must be?

Have we allowed other voices to dictate our feelings and/or the meaning of the actions done to us? Regardless of how “innocently” the harm occurred, it is still harm. Being stabbed is painful…no matter what the back story.

Sadly, so many people throw out verses and words like “extend grace”, “just trust” and “respond in love” to those who are the VICTIMS…those who have been wronged, violated, taken advantage of, mistreated, fill in the blank and sometimes repeatedly.

I fully believe the Divine always has room for the perpetrator and the victim, but I do NOT believe that the victim must be silenced. I do not believe that fear, manipulation or guilt are to be given a leadership position.

I’m reaching back to my Sunday School days for this: The One who promised never to leave or forsake you is true to that promise. Even when the support you thought you would always have changes and even if every one leaves, The Divine is with you.

IF you have been violated in ANY way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, you are not alone. I weep with you. You are worth speaking up for, standing up for, fighting for…always!

Wherever you find yourself today – perpetrator (looking in the window), victim (looking out of the window; wishing, hoping and screaming for a way out), you are seen and loved. The Divine is always with you…arms wide open to embrace you (or give you dap!) because Love heals.

Now let’s get the help we need. Let’s not ignore or dismiss anything; let’s invite Divine Love into our lives. Let’s truly care for and love one another in DEED. Practical points for us to “love one another in DEED” –

If the perpetrator is a friend or family member, may I encourage you not to let the relationship blind you to what is necessary? Help set up therapy, psychiatric evaluations or anything else that is helpful.

If you are the perpetrator, The Divine is waiting on you. Light, Love and Healing awaits. The Divine will walk with you through the most difficult of situations, Overcomer!

If you or someone you know is a victim, reach out to a licensed counselor and support group. Lean in to close friends who will prioritize safety. Stand in your power even if no one stands with you. The Divine will carry you through the storm, fellow Warrior!

Is there any area where we are in denial? If so, what is one truth we can sit with today? If we’re not ready to embrace it all yet, can we just sit with it a bit? Is someone close to us in denial? If yes, how can we keep ourselves safe and sane?

Common Day Hero: On the day I first met you, you stood up for me. I will always remember how much it filled my heart to have that day with you and Kochayan. I have always wished that you lived near me, but when I became a mother, I really mourned not having you close. I thought (and still think) of you often and especially when I desperately need grace. You are wise, welcoming, an amazing cook, witty and fun. Beautiful Sushi, I dedicate this post to you.

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