perspective

This week had me revisiting the definitions of Perspective and Perception.

Perspective: a point of view; a sense of proportion. Perception: a way of regarding, understanding or interpreting…

In this sudden change/disruption of what seemed solid…what seemed unshakeable in my own life, I have been working to view it all from multiple directions.

For the most part, we naturally see things from our own perspective, but I have been curious about every angle, for as long as I can remember. Sidenote: Curiosity wasn’t necessarily encouraged but has remained a constant companion for me, since childhood.

Despite the deep pain and sadness which, at times, has been so heavy, I have been taking time to view the good, the bad, the ugly, the shocking through lenses opposite mine.

Since the divorce process started, I’ve been doing this regarding all aspects – the years prior to marriage, the engagement months, the life and death of the marriage.

I’ve heard it said that perception is reality.

Are we open to genuinely view our perception/reality from all angles? If not, are we limiting ourselves in some way?

Many words have been thrown at me, but I carefully hold it all up to the Light and see if Truth is present.

If no Truth is present, I find healthy ways to release (so that my body isn’t holding on to the negatives). If Truth is present, I take the time to process so that I can begin applying it to my life.

Some moments/days it may be too difficult to see a different view and that is alright.

Breathe. Take your time.

Be gentle with yourself

and

Challenge your Perception to gain true Perspective.

A healthy perspective keeps us grounded/centered/secure.

Positive energy, Prayers and Power to you as you move forward to face all angles of Perception (yours, mine, theirs, ours!), discard the lies, process the Truth and gain Perspective.

Common Day Hero: You have consistently been a Champion for humans, but especially women. Your boldness, brilliant mind and brave heart are the cause of freedom for many. I AM committed to warring alongside (and for) you.  JuR, I dedicate this post to you.

amazing

Life has brought the awful, amazing and appalling this season. Sometimes, all-together, in one day.

As I cry (read sob uncontrollably while alone in my car or closet), and process all this pain with more layers than I can even begin to describe, as I’m in the midst of all the awful, I also experience amazing grace.

I was raised with “hold it together”, “keep it together”, “don’t lose your shit” but the real meaning of those statements is that I was to keep up appearances. It was alright if I came unglued alone, in private but I best not let it be seen…ever.

I never wanted to raise my kids with that. I wanted them to be completely free to express themselves.

I signed them up for play therapy when they were younger. I created and bought journals so they could draw, doodle, write thoughts and prayers. I took them on walks and to the park to enjoy time in nature.

I created a gratitude jar, so that we could see and say the good – even in the middle of deep pain. I believe grief and gratitude coexist. I pray with them (if they want). I sing and dance with them (as best I can!)…still, I was unknowingly placing the very same burden that I grew up with, on my kids.

This realization led me to be very intentional in changing course. I genuinely did not want to raise my kids with that same stress. I sought out help through books, therapy and emotional training classes. I began redirecting myself; I started being and creating a safe space for my kids to simply be.

About four years ago, after intentionally working on myself, in every area, I received the greatest compliment. My children told me that they saw change…improvement in me!

The two changes were: I am silly with them more. I ask more questions (answers beget more questions rather than assumptions). What changed was that I embraced myself fully, the way God does ~ in love. And that made all the difference! Love lifted me!

When I chose to embrace the Love of The Divine, I began loving myself. That Love set me free and opened the door for my children to have the choice to be completely safe, secure…free…with me.

The beauty of love is choice. I know, I say it often…I believe it’s worth saying often because when we really know (accept/believe) the Truth, it sets us free!

What has us holding back (in the seemingly smallest or most insignificant way) from receiving Divine Love? What is one step we can take in embracing the Love of The Divine today?

And here’s your LAST chance to make a purchase during African American/Black History month, my friend at Out of Hiding is offering the LOVE(period) collection BOGO (buy one, get one FREE!). Get a shirt, hoodie or tote for you and someone you love…quick! When you purchase, you’re supporting a local business, owned by an African American/Black/Chocolate sisTAH of mine! Let Out of Hiding know that LALIjean sent ya!

Common Day Hero: You’re quick to speak Truth that is challenging and comforting. I’m so grateful that The Divine crossed our paths and orchestrated this friendship. I dedicate this post to you, risotto…Molé!

fire

Fire…it refines; it burns away the dross…it brings forth pure gold.

Fire does not feel good unless it’s cold or windy…then being seated close (but not too close!) to the fire is comforting for me. I think fire (in a fireplace or pit) is pretty and I’m always ready for s’mores!

I’ve heard difficult times/trials described as “going through fire”. I’ve heard (and sung) many songs about going through fire and the refiner’s fire…sigh. Through the years, nuh-thing, absolutely nuh-th-ing prepared me for the intensity of the various trials that came my way.

Now, in the midst of this most difficult of seasons, I will bend, but I will not break. I will grieve, but I will not give up. I will feel it all, but I will not be run by fear.

A friend recently texted me a verse that I learned in childhood. It came at a time when I really needed to be reassured, “For I, says the Lord, will be a ring of fire all around her and I will be the glory in her midst.” Some translations say “wall of fire”. Found in Verse five of Chapter two from the Book of Zechariah in The Bible.

Seeing the words “I will be a ring of fire all around her” brought so much comfort to me. Reading those words, in this time, I felt seen. I felt safe. I felt protected.

I cannot say that everything will go as you or I plan because that is not how life on our planet works…sigh. Life brings us happy, sad, unexpected, fun, disappointing, heart-breaking, soul-wrenching, joy-filled, ecstatic moments.

In the moments that life brings us delight, may we fully celebrate and enjoy it all. In the deeply painful and overwhelmingly sad moments, may we let ourselves grieve. And in our grieving, may we remember that we are not alone, dear Warriors.

The Divine is a ring of fire around us…a wall of safety and protection.

This season will not be the end of me. I will survive (now I’m singing the song; thank you Diana Ross!), I will live, I will thrive! I will experience goodness, grace and joy. I will move forward because this ring of fire protects and empowers me!

Close your eyes with me. Envision The ring of fire around you…what are you feeling?

Common Day Hero: You are an exemplary mom, a great daughter, sibling, friend and wife. I have been so encouraged by your words, prayers and verses. LilyS, I dedicate this post to you.

family

In twenty-sixteen, I wrote out a family statement. I felt that creating a statement that we could say together, every morning before school, would be an encouragement for the kids. The kids were excited about it.

I hoped (hope) it would remind them of the Truth especially when the lies come at them. I hoped (still hope) it would be a “go-to” for them when they need to remember who they really are.

I revised the statement in twenty-eighteen, but we didn’t say the statement regularly after relocating that fall (the kids weren’t up for it…maybe because so much had been turned upside down in their world…sigh).

In the fall of twenty-twenty, amidst more unexpected changes (I know changes all year…for everyone worldwide!), I asked the kids if they’d like to start saying our family statement again. They said Yes!

This week, I asked the kids if they’d like to share our statement on the blog. They said Yes! My heart in sharing our family statement is so that if you choose, you may find inspiration in creating your own.

Here’s ours (actions and all!):

We raise our hand as if making an oath

I AM a child of God (point up)

I AM a Stanley (link arms)

I AM a believer (sign of the cross)

I AM loved (hands over heart)

I AM important (chest puffed out)

I AM powerful (muscles)

I AM a World Changer (swirling lasso above head)

Then, we bring our palms in and yell, GO Stanleys!

I’ve told my children that this statement is for us. We believe it. It is Truth to encourage and remind us of the unity and strength within us.

We may not be loved by all; that is alright because we love ourselves, God loves us and we love each other. We may not be important to all people, but we are important to our Creator and to each other. We need not be arrogant; we simply know that we are a vital part of this family and will bring good to the world.

We may feel powerless sometimes, but we are powerful to choose to live our lives to the fullest, to choose the direction of our dreams, to choose our response to the negatives hurled at or forced on us.

We choose to be world changers ~ where we see injustice, we speak up; where we see a need, we help with creative solutions. Remembering the Truth carries us through it all.

If creating a statement as a family (or for your family) is on your heart, here are a few questions to consider:

What is the message of your family or what do you want it to be? What will reassure/encourage your hearts and remind you of Truth? If you have very young children, you may only want three short sentences now. The statement can always be expanded, through the years, as you like.

Not everyone is about creating a statement. Would you prefer to write a song for your family? Would you prefer to choose a “family song”? Once a week, gather and play/sing the song then hug and reaffirm one another of how important the family is.

Common Day Hero: You are such a sweet spirit. You were a great mom to your three. Your kindness and your home were always such a safe space for me. Thank you for opening your heart and home to me. My friend Myra, I dedicate this post to you. I know you can see it from that mansion in the sky. I miss you dearly.

wordS

A new year is upon us! HAPPY and HEALTHY 2021 dear ones!

Every year, I find it difficult to believe that another year has flown by…already?!

I’ve been a “words” person for as long as I can remember! My word is my bond. Words carry so much weight for me. When given the time to process, I AM careful with my words. My heart is to only say words from a place of love and kindness.

When not given the time to process, I’ve said words that were hurtful to others. Words I’d like to erase. sigh. As much as is possible (when the parties have made themselves available), I have apologized for negative words.

At times, my words have been misunderstood. I haven’t always accurately stated a true reflection of my heart and haven’t always been given the chance to clear up misunderstandings. I’ve reconciled those within myself.

How many of us have felt the cut…the sting…the blow of hurtful words? I guess all of us. sigh. How many of us have felt empowered, uplifted and rejuvenated by encouraging words? I trust all of us!

wordS…powerful, inspiring, motivating…crushing…if we take the “S” and put it up front, we have Sword. I personally believe Truth is our sword.

Sometimes, circumstances cause our vision to become blurred. Sometimes, we are quick to doubt the Truth and believe lies. Sometimes, we grow weary and our strength is depleted.

If we are sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry or fill in the blank, may we let in the Light and Love of those around us. May we let the Truth be spoken and sung over/for us, so Truth alone takes root in us.

Dear fellow Warrior, let’s raise our Swords in unison…especially for those of us who have no strength to lift ours in this moment. Let’s put our arms around and under each other; let’s commit to support one another with love and grace. Let’s commit to kind words, gentle/affirming actions and silence as needed…and always, let’s raise our swords on behalf of our collective/total healing and health.

As we step into the new year, may we be empowered by Truth…to process each day, to fully face tomorrow and always to keep our heads held up high because even on the most difficult days, this is the Truth:

I AM who I AM says I AM…and so are you!

Truth comes through the words of The Divine (now and always)…the words of those committed to carrying/walking with me through difficult moments…the words of countless songs, stories and prayers.

Through my tears, I choose to let Truth wash over me, cover me, fill me…and I raise my sword. Full of gratitude for the fellow Warriors alongside me, especially in this season.

Common Day Hero: You are a Warrior, friend in need, Truth Teller and fierce Mom. Thank you for praying, believing and standing with/for me. NicoleR, I dedicate this post to you.

forgiveness

Definitions for forgiveness are probably over a hun’ed. I have had to resolve within myself what forgiveness is for me, personally…practically. What best helps my heart remain pure, true and not stuck in revenge-mode?

For me, forgiveness is not forgetting…I’ve heard “forgive and forget” from so many well intentioned people. Nah maaaan, I don’t forget. For me, forgiveness is remembering without reliving the pain, the sting and all the negative weight of/from the incident.

Forgiveness is a journey ~ full of twists and turns, rough terrain and always the unexpected. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any clear direction. Stay the course. Sit with it…as long as needed (this may bother humans, but not The Divine). Pause a moment and just breathe.

Forgiveness is choosing to fully release (daily…sometimes multiple times a day!). And by release, I’m tryna say that I take a few really deep breaths, punch a pillow, go for a walk, light a candle, scream at the heavens, see a licensed therapist, angry draw, burn incense, join a support group, start the music or inspirational speakers playlist, quote or read Scripture and/or positive statements/affirmations of Truth…

I encourage any/all methods that help to fully release from our bodies the hurt, sadness, anger and negative energy that seeks residence in us. At our optimal, we are conduits of the positive, the beneficial, the healing and restoration of ourselves and all around us. Choose life. Choose the positive.

I choose to be a forgiver. I choose to be a conduit/channel for The Divine.

Actions speak, so I have practiced watching closely and believing the behaviors of those around me. I’m a “words” person and unfortunately, it took me several y-e-a-r-s to reach a place of weighing the actions of individuals. sigh. Regardless of the words thrown our way, what are the actions/behaviors saying?

Strength and courage dear one, as you face the difficult, painful and maybe frustrating Truth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal the offender apologizing. Forgiveness doesn’t equal the feelings disappearing. Forgiveness is a choice. I remind myself often that the beauty of love is choice. From a heart full of love for self, The Divine and our fellow humans, the gift of forgiveness is born.

Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t share the same definition. Reconciliation within yourself is crucial, but reconciling with another individual is not entirely in our court. We may need to reconcile and resolve within ourselves that the relationship/s we thought were solid forevah, aren’t. That is alright.

I have come to believe that although I continue to remain loving, kind and untethered, I am not responsible for other humans. I need not carry anyone, but myself. I am fully responsible for my behavior alone.

And, could it be that the people who walk out of our lives unexpectedly or those whom we need to keep at a distance for our own health’s sake are reminders of the promise of The Divine to always come to our rescue…always care for us even when we don’t realize how deeply we are being cared for in the moment?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have no boundaries. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness emancipates us to create a property line for our hearts and minds. Many people suggest that if our forgiveness was “real” then we would allow room for the individual/s who have violated our trust. Not so, my fellow warriors.

We need not grant access to those who have shown that they can’t be trusted. We decide who has access to our hearts, our time, our energy. When we unshackle ourselves from the grip of those who have wronged us, we are FREE to set healthy boundaries and honestly work through questions such as:

Do I need to answer this or does this call get sent to voicemail? Once I listen to the voicemail, does my heart need twenty-four to seventy-two hours (or more!) before deciding if I will respond? IF it is best that I not respond now, how can I release this, so that I am not carrying an ounce of negative energy surrounding it?

How do I set aside every negative weight, so that my heart remains free?

IF I have decided that a response is alright at this time, which method is safest for my heart: a phone call, text or email? Is this someone I need to visit in person? If so, do I need to take a real/true friend with me?

Only you can decide. My encouragement is that these decisions genuinely be made from our hearts, not in the heat of the moment and not from our minds. Our heart leads because the work of The Divine is always in our hearts.

Everything I have shared on my blog, thus far, I have walked (or am currently walking through) myself. Truly in it all with you. The yuck, the difficult, the painful and the triumphant!

Fellow Warrior, you are not alone. Be still. Hear the Divine Whisper. Create a plan. Move accordingly.

Common Day Hero: Many look at you and see a list of titles…all the roles you fill. No shade – you fill every role well – always available and willing. I see a little boy…maybe four or five years of age. He is adorable; looks carefree but carries more weight than anyone could begin to know. I hope that little boy breathes – fully and freely this year…the year of the fulfillment of the promises of Yesú. I dedicate this post to you, Chetayee.

movements…

There are a plethora of movements out there, born with good intentions. If you are led to join and can bring good to the world through it, please join. And let’s not be the judge regarding the org and movements our friends join. WE cannot even begin to know or fully comprehend what another human has endured, experienced or survived. May we truly grow in grace…for ourselves so that we can then extend it to all.

What has been so heavy on my heart for quite some time though is this: joining a movement is something external. Others can see that you’re a part of something big, something that “looks” good, something that causes words of praise or awards…somethings that makes us “feel” better.

My caution is this: listen to the impressions of The Divine on your heart. What’s your motive? Do the movements you’ve become a part of match the way you live your daily life?

Are we saying the words “all are equal” or “black lives matter” or “brown lives matter” or “all lives matter” but living in a way that shows all lives matter on a sliding scale and not equally? Are we saying what’s popular so we can hide behind prejudice tendencies and/or racial bias?

I’m talkiN, my son/daughter ain’t datiN that fill in the blank because it sadly ain’t just black and white. It’s all flavors. I’m talkiN, oh, how do you even say that name; I’m not calling that person in for an interview? I’m talkiN, we don’t go to those people’s house across the street, ok kids? I’m talkiN, God loves all people, but we can keep a safe distance or just send a check. I’m talkiN, they’re not from around here, so we don’t need to try. I’m talkiN, “you don’t have an accent”, yes, I do, it’s just one that’s more common in America, is all, thank you!

On and on and on, it’s in ALL cultures -all flavors of us humankind. Many times, as humans, we prize “easy” and “same” rather than the joy that comes from cultivating the difficult, the awkward, the interesting. I know from experience, I am so much richer in spirit because of the deep, difficult and meaningful relationships that I’ve given and received grace upon grace.

All of us, as people, elevating one group over another is a disservice to each of us. Believing that our ethnic, religious, social, cultural (or any other) group is superior in some way hurts us all. I believe EACH group has beauty to offer and NONE of us need stand in the way of that beauty being brought to the table (individually or collectively).

EVERY tribe. EVERY tongue. EVERY nation. EVERY group deserves a seat, a voice and unhurried time at the table. How can we, as individuals, begin living in a way that genuinely promotes that…over the LONG haul?

Are we saying we stand with those who have been marginalized? Are we using words that lead others to believe we are helping those less fortunate when in reality we are lining our pockets…or receiving perks/benefits (some seen/known and some unseen by others)?

Are we saying we believe in the voice of women? Are we saying that women are so essential and vital to every conversation, but silencing (or limiting, dismissing, ignoring) them in our families, businesses, religious gatherings etc?

Are we saying that children can be themselves, share freely and be open, but questioning what they share and why? Are we pretending to be safe spaces and secretly doing more harm than the outside world can ever see?

All of us are flawed. Being flawed is not an issue. WE are all flawed humans.

Pretending to be faultless, pretending to be God, pretending that we have no issues is the danger. In the pretending, as time passes by, lies grow and reality blurs. Each of us have a choice…to choose to do the difficult heart-work of being real, authentic, honest, transparent…or not.

Throughout history, “image” has been king. Some of us haven’t allowed what the world at large thinks to influence us. Some of us blindly follow those closest to us (rather than working through situations). Some of us haven’t known how to break free. Some of us haven’t even thought about the possibility of things being any different. We place so much value on what a human says to us or about us. I have learned to place value on The Divine. The Whisper that I hear only when I choose to be still.

As long as we live, there will always be chatter. While I believe that we were made for community, I do not believe in hiding the Truth or using connections and groups as a way to allow evil to flourish. With every decision, we, as individuals, are either a movement for help or harm.

May we come to a place of facing, acknowledging and sharing Truth (even if NO one stands with us). Recently, a song from childhood just came out; I started singing, “though none go with me, still I will follow”. Yes, regardless of who’s with, for or against me, I choose to wholeheartedly follow The Divine.

Everything that we’ve worked so hard to hide, or others have said we must hide need not tie us down anymore. May we come to a place of being still and choose surrender, solely to The Divine, so that we can be free!

Freedom is a journey…a process. Everyday, we can choose Freedom. We can remind ourselves (repeatedly) of Truth. WE can give ourselves grace in the moment, for the moment and despite the moment/s. I’m sending love, courage, grace and strength your way today, fellow Warrior. Here in it, with and always, for you!

Common Day Hero: Yesú brought you into my life at such a young age. You were always wise beyond your years, even in childhood. Our adult lives have mirrored each other’s so much, without us knowing. I always held you dear. I AM grateful that we can go deep, be our most authentic selves and always, no matter the present hell, laugh fully. Laughter is such good medicine. I dedicate this post to you, Queen Sheeba!

voice (for the voiceless)

Years ago, when I first used that phrase “voice for the voiceless”, I thought it was only for a few…my sister (who has autism), those with intellectual disabilities and those who no longer had family. As time passed, I realized it’s for anyone. It’s for (fill in the blank). It’s inclusive. It’s for us ALL.

At some point, we may all have felt that we had no voice, or our voice didn’t count. What I didn’t fully realize (till a few short years ago) was that the little girl (my inner child) who didn’t feel worthy, safe, valuable enough to stand up for…who never felt enough – not good enough, not intelligent enough, not attractive enough, not spiritual enough, not funny enough, etc…had a voice…and could use her voice!

Voice.for.the.Voiceless.

I found my voice and lost it and found it and lost it so much over the years. Ok, some years, I just sat on it. I was sad, disappointed and afraid at different points on this journey. I took to heart the words that other humans said. Some well-intentioned, some hurtful-not-helpful, some unkind and some positive.

My words to myself were cutting…an attempt to “beat myself into shape” mentally. I didn’t realize I was silencing myself. As much as others hurt me, I didn’t see that I had joined them in squashing my own voice.

Also, what I believed for so long was that my voice could be taken, but what I know today is that I need not give my voice away. Words may be said, hurtful actions taken against me, but I can still stand on the solid ground of Truth. I can still speak up…even if it is just a Whisper.

IF my voice is literally stripped away, I can write. I can type. I can sign (not fluently!). I can wave my hands, a flag, a sign/poster. So, I will…for myself…for those who are differently abled…for those in a verbally/physically/mentally/emotionally or spiritually abusive relationship feeling no hope of relief…for those seeing no way out and feeling alone…for those trapped in their minds unable to express the myriad of thoughts…for those similar to my sister…for all who cross paths with me and are in need of a Voice.

I AM a voice for the voiceless.

Some days are exhausting beyond description. Some days are excruciatingly painful. Some days I feel so alone. I know I’m never alone, but some days it feels like I’m so alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. In the difficult moments, I AM reminding myself of these truths:

The Divine is ever-present, ever-near, always available for a chat. Even in moments when I feel distance, I close my eyes or take a deep breath and immediately sense Peace. I am not saying it’s always rainbows and butterflies and chocolate chip cookies. I am saying, we are promised the Presence of Peace, always.

We are not promised that this life will be comfortable or easy (although we tend to consistently seek that!). We are promised that we will never be abandoned, never be alone because the Presence of The Divine is with us.

The Divine is always available for a hug via a breeze, the waves/sounds of the ocean, the smile of a stranger, laughter, a song that moves our soul, shared tears and an innumerable amount of other ways. Take a deep breath or close your eyes or both and feel the Peace that surpasses all understanding.

Earlier this week, a friend sent me a Power/Affirmation/Truth statement that she wrote. It was/is thought-provoking and empowering so I wanted to share it for us all…I recommend reading it aloud and loudly if you can/want!

“Don’t be a Footnote. Write Your Own Story – I Write My Story. Breaking the Shackles of Expectations; I Soar Free, I Fly High. I May Win, Face Defeat or Just Get By. But I Own My Story. I define My Destiny. My Dreams, My Being. I Walk to My Own Beat and Sing to My Own Song. Never Mind the Conversations Around Me, About Me; Words of Hate May Become The Wind Beneath My Wings. I Am Not An Afterthought, Never a Footnote. I am the Headline, the Punchline. I Sweat my Days and Breathe in the Nights. I Laugh, I Tear Up, I Tread through, I Get Tired. But Never Give Up and Never Give In. I Live My Adventure. I Write My Own Story”. Gauthami Vemula, Founder: UGauGrrl.com

Also, fellow/caring humans are just a phone call, text, video chat or drive/flight away. Speak up! Reach out! HERE for and with YOU! We are not alone!

Common Day Hero: You are brave. You have a genuine love for all people. You have taken care of many around you and it does not go unnoticed. You are such a creative soul and I believe the world really needs your art. Sarah, I dedicate this post to you.

fumbling

Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt like you were fumbling? And I don’t mean just once in a game…I mean, fumbling like it was becoming something on the regular?

May the words of The Divine ring true for you here…now…in this very moment. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. I continue to fully embrace the belief that there are no accidents.

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward.

And I’m good with it. I wasn’t raised to be ok with fumbling. I was raised to be perfect, to never miss the mark, to be extremely rigid about attaining “perfection” and always give the impression that I didn’t fumble.

What fumbling, faltering, failing…forward means to me is that I am not ignoring what needs to be addressed, not making something up and not making anything more than it is.

I AM simply stating truth. Acknowledging the impact of that truth. Sitting with it as long as I need. Reminding myself that self-care is not selfish and (slowly, but surely) prioritizing self-care. Creating a plan based on love for self, healthy boundaries and this statement of Truth:

I have everything I need.

This is a principle that was presented to me in childhood. It continues to bring comfort and peace to me. The Lord is my Shepherd; I have everything I need. (I lack nothing. I shall not lack. I shall not want). Verse one of Chapter twenty-three from the Book of Psalms in the Bible.

The Lord is my Shepherd speaks cared for, nurtured and safety to me. Each sheep is of utmost importance to the Shepherd and I am safe in the care of The Divine. I am taken care of and nurtured by The Divine.

I have everything I need when – promises made are broken, friendships fade, health fails, depression persists, loved ones relocate (pass on/away, transition from this life) and all hell unleashes on me.

I have everything I need because – I have love for myself (Divine Love is my firm foundation), I AM a Warrior armed with courage and Truth, I am committed to the journey of healing in every way – mind, body, spirit.

I have everything I need. And so do you, fellow Warrior.

If someone has unexpectedly turned the light off in your world, look for the smallest Light. The Light of the Sun, Moon and stars are always available…a reminder that the Light of The Divine is eternal. Listen for the Words whispered by The Divine. They are a Lamp for our feet and a Light for the path (Psalms again ~ Verse one hundred and five of Chapter one nineteen).

Fumbling, faltering, failing…forward…with you because WE have everything we need.

Common Day Hero: You have faithfully cared for those around you. Even when you are unappreciated, you exude courage and dignity. When we were kids, I admired your beauty and intellect. Now, I also admire your strength and resilience. Smarita, I dedicate this post to you.

denial

It’s easy to see when those around us refuse to face the truth…especially if we believe it’s dangling directly in front of their faces. Something so big, it can’t be denied and yet…it is.

We see it all for others, but do we make excuses to hide behind the fears in front of us? Do we dismiss what is on our own hearts and minds? Statements or thoughts like oh, it’s ok. I’ll just stay quiet, so no one else feels awkward. I don’t want to cause a ruckus. I don’t want to draw attention when others haven’t said anything.

Have we compared and essentially minimized our story? Examples: my situation isn’t as bad as theirs. I’ve heard so much worse. I know this isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m talking about these issues when others go through a whole lot more.

How many times have we let others tell us (verbally or through their actions) what a “spiritual”, “proper” or “acceptable” response is? Have we let a spouse, friend, extended family member, social or religious group decide what our next steps must be?

Have we allowed other voices to dictate our feelings and/or the meaning of the actions done to us? Regardless of how “innocently” the harm occurred, it is still harm. Being stabbed is painful…no matter what the back story.

Sadly, so many people throw out verses and words like “extend grace”, “just trust” and “respond in love” to those who are the VICTIMS…those who have been wronged, violated, taken advantage of, mistreated, fill in the blank and sometimes repeatedly.

I fully believe the Divine always has room for the perpetrator and the victim, but I do NOT believe that the victim must be silenced. I do not believe that fear, manipulation or guilt are to be given a leadership position.

I’m reaching back to my Sunday School days for this: The One who promised never to leave or forsake you is true to that promise. Even when the support you thought you would always have changes and even if every one leaves, The Divine is with you.

IF you have been violated in ANY way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, you are not alone. I weep with you. You are worth speaking up for, standing up for, fighting for…always!

Wherever you find yourself today – perpetrator (looking in the window), victim (looking out of the window; wishing, hoping and screaming for a way out), you are seen and loved. The Divine is always with you…arms wide open to embrace you (or give you dap!) because Love heals.

Now let’s get the help we need. Let’s not ignore or dismiss anything; let’s invite Divine Love into our lives. Let’s truly care for and love one another in DEED. Practical points for us to “love one another in DEED” –

If the perpetrator is a friend or family member, may I encourage you not to let the relationship blind you to what is necessary? Help set up therapy, psychiatric evaluations or anything else that is helpful.

If you are the perpetrator, The Divine is waiting on you. Light, Love and Healing awaits. The Divine will walk with you through the most difficult of situations, Overcomer!

If you or someone you know is a victim, reach out to a licensed counselor and support group. Lean in to close friends who will prioritize safety. Stand in your power even if no one stands with you. The Divine will carry you through the storm, fellow Warrior!

Is there any area where we are in denial? If so, what is one truth we can sit with today? If we’re not ready to embrace it all yet, can we just sit with it a bit? Is someone close to us in denial? If yes, how can we keep ourselves safe and sane?

Common Day Hero: On the day I first met you, you stood up for me. I will always remember how much it filled my heart to have that day with you and Kochayan. I have always wished that you lived near me, but when I became a mother, I really mourned not having you close. I thought (and still think) of you often and especially when I desperately need grace. You are wise, welcoming, an amazing cook, witty and fun. Beautiful Sushi, I dedicate this post to you.

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