Jael (Yah-el)

Yeshu has been preppiN me for a very long time. Still/always preppiN. And I’m still failing…always forward! Still standing on HOPE (heavenly oxygen permeating earth)!
Growing up, I didn’t want to be female because I saw how much freedom males had. Females couldn’t go out past evening. Females had to dress a certain way. Females couldn’t be “loud”. On and on the list went that seemed to be slanted against females.
Therapy, journaling, prayer/meditation, some difficult friendships, books/articles and workshops over the course of time opened the door for me to embrace my feminine side. It looks different for all of us. I AM now so full of joy to be a woman…to see that it doesn’t hinder me in any way. I AM free to be me!
In December, twenty-eighteen, I met a woman and her husband for the first time.
As soon as I met them, I saw a vision of a Bible story I’d heard like a hun’ed times, growing up.
I saw the Red Sea parted…I saw Moses (staff in his hand) and both hands raised. I said to the couple, raise your hands in victory now (not literally, but ya know!) because just like The Divine parted the Red Sea, you will see and experience something similar. The Divine will part the Red Sea on your behalf.
Sidebar: when I’m sharing a word, feeling, vision or dream with someone, I typically say I’m a flawed human so whatever I see or share, just take what resonates with you. Any vision/dream/words that I share are simply an offering placed on the table for the taking…or not! I’m completely aight with it because I whole-heartedly believe the beauty of love is choice!
And I also don’t always see or feel things exactly as they will happen. Sometimes, I don’t accurately express what I see or feel. So, I practice the same. When someone shares, I make note of the whole piece, but I immediately take what resonates and set the rest aside (for a later time).
In August, twenty nineteen, we saw each other again at a party. As soon as we hugged, she said, you are Jael (Yah-el)! A flash back to childhood days in Sunday School. I said, yeah, I know the story. I asked if she’d be alright exchanging phone numbers and staying connected. She said sure!
As soon as I shared the vision that day, she hugged me and we cried together. I’m an empath. I could feel the weight of her pain. She shared that she had recently experienced a deep loss. That was it. We went our separate ways. Anytime she came to mind, I’d say a prayer. Sometimes, I’d just close my eyes and send love her way.
That day, soon as I got home, I wrote up a little modern-day, lali-version of the story. I thought I have a message hopefully empowering if I’m ever asked to speak! Just had the honor of sharing it this week!
I AM Jael.
The Hebrew pronunciation of the name is Yaa-el/Yah-el.
In Hebrew, Jael means mountain goat. Mountain goats live in hostile environments; they are agile, sure-footed, methodical climbers. It is said they can scale twelve feet in one jump!
Here’s the story: Well, first, I say, read it fa yaself to verify erything! It’s in the fourth chapter of the Book of Judges in the Holy Bible. Again, this the lali version!
A woman, Deborah, was a judge, prophetess, wife and mother. She was wise and the neighbors knew it! So, they (the people of Israel) came to her to present their “cases” and she helped resolve them.
One day, she sent for Barak to come see her. He came ova and she asked him, didn’t The Divine tell you to rally up yo’ troops and meet at Mount Tabor? And didn’t The Divine also say that you would “get” Sisera, the captain of the opposing army?
Barak said, gurrl, if you go, I’ll go. If you ain’t goin’ then I fa sho’ ain’t goin’. Deborah said, oh Imma go witchu, but victory gonna come to our people through a WomaN (whoop!whoop!)
Barak said, yah, cool, whateva, Imma go witchu! I reallY like that Barak esteemed Deborah; he saw her as an equal. So, they went and the next day and Deborah tol’ him THIS is the DAY when the enemy will be given to you by The LordT! So, Barak and ’em met Sisera and ’em and The Bible say, Barak got all of Sisera’s army…like all of dem…except Sisera.
Sisera got so confused and afraid that he started runnin’ away. I keep thinkin’ with ALL those horses, you gonna take off runnin’? Aight. I don’t know. I wasn’t there; maybe the horses got spooked too!
So, Sisera ran up to Jael’s tent. Only reason he felt like he could go to that tent was prolly coz her huZband (Heber) was friendly with Jabin, the King.
Jael went out to greet Sisera. She said, don’t be skeered. Come inside; get out of the heat.
The enemy came in all smug. He asked for water, but we (Easterners don’t give water to a general). She offered him milk. He drank, he probably ate too and then he thought he would take a nap.
Jael used that opportunity to drive a tent peg through his skull and Victory came to Israel through the hands of a woman that day! Jael may have been shaking; she may have had to take some deep/full breaths; she may have screamed into a pillow.
What we know is that she stepped in and did what needed to be done in the moment. Destiny fulfilled!
During this month of celebrating International Women’s Day, are there any ways we can embrace womanhood more? Tap into the Divine feminine side of ourselves more? Stand in our Power more?
What has Heaven placed on your heart that has you afraid because it’s an “uncommon” path? What has you thinking “I’m just a woman” or “that can’t be for me”?
Truth statements help me remember how powerful I AM…whether I feel it or not, I declare it! May you receive strength from it as well. Pick up ya tent peg (Truth) and slay the enemy (lies in ya mind).
I AM a Woman! I AM a Warrior! I AM a Winner!
Courage to you dear heart; may this be the month you step into all that the Divine has for you!
Here for and with you!
Common Day Hero: I don’t know your whole story. I know you have overcome much. I see your beauty, strength and tenacity; it fuels mine. I AM glad you’re in my life. AuntYasmin, I dedicate this post to you.

felt

This week, while standing amidst a crowd, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion for a woman whom I saw about two rows in front of me. I did not know her; what I knew was that I needed to speak with her.

I had no words; this is typically how it happens with me. I knew the words would come when it was time to speak (not my words and not from me). I knew the words that The Divine had for her would flow through me.

I have no control over what comes; it’s not premeditated. I can’t “plan” the talk; yes, my analytical side has attempted. Want to know what happens every.single.time? None of what I plan comes out…truly; whatever I’ve “prepared” just vanishes!

So, I’ve learned to let the words come spilling out when it’s time and I’m reminded of Verse thirty-eight of Chapter Seven from the Book of St. John in The Holy Bible that states, “…out of your belly will flow rivers of living water”.

And almost always when I share, it’s what the person needs in that moment. I never want to offend/hurt or insult anyone, so before I share, I typically give a disclaimer similar to this: I’m a flawed human, so please take only what resonates with you.

Back to this week, amidst the crowd…I walked up to the stranger, introduced myself and asked if it would be alright to share; she said yes! I shared what was on my heart. We both cried and hugged. It was a powerful moment.

I see moments like these as: Hugs from Heaven or Dap from The Divine…a reminder that EVERY human is seen.

YOU are seen!

YOU are heard!

Heaven knows!

Rest assured dear heart, you are not alone on this journey.

Hugs, strength and Peace to you from a fellow Warrior.

Common Day Hero: I AM grateful beyond words to have met you all those years ago, brave soul. You are such a delight, a force of good, a tenacious and adventurous spirit. Kayla, I dedicate this post to you.

toxic

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment? Did it seem like being in a dark room for a long time and then suddenly the curtains were opened or a wall was knocked out, unexpectedly?

I know it’s different for each of us…when light comes in and we start seeing what we didn’t even know was present, but hidden or masked/disguised.

In the beginning, when toxicity is new whether it’s gaslighting, manipulation, verbal, mental, emotional, physical control and/or so much more, it may seem exciting…especially when dysfunction is all we’ve experienced or seen.

We may feel a rush of excitement; however slight or momentary…we may accept that this rush is fundamental to relationships. We may squash ourselves (turtle behavior) or over-exert ourselves (tiger behavior) to be seen/heard.

We may also vacillate between the two behaviors depending on the environment.

A friend and I were talking recently about relationships and she said, at this point, she would rather live fully in the space in-between silence and screaming. I could relate.

When I didn’t hold value and love for myself, I found myself longing and desperately looking for approval, affirmation and affection in relationships that were never truly for me.

Once I embraced myself fully in Love and Light from The Divine, I no longer needed human approval, affirmation or  affection because I began walking in the Truth that Heaven has me. I AM free!

Everything YOU need is already within you because Truth empowers, heals, brings freedom and liberty.

Toxic no longer equals excitement once we commit to heal.

Give yourself the space you need. Step back and see more clearly the spaces you occupy by choice ~ are they Truth-filled spaces of Love and Light? If not, are you ready to step out and away from all the toxicity (regardless of how long an individual or org has been in your life?).

Courage to you dear Warrior, may you choose your own health (emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) over length of relationships/ties.

Freedom, Fortitude and Foresight to you on the journey.

Common Day Hero: You are so intelligent, eloquent and kind. Many have been (and are) changed for the better because of your commitment to excellence in service; I’m among those. Today, I dedicate this post to you, DanaB.

women

Every one has a story to tell…this week, I’m remembering the empowering stories of just a few of the women in the Holy Bible. Following is a list of sorts –

From Sarah, we learn that age ain’t nothiN but a number – the Divine shines in what humans deem “impossible”.

Hagar shows us that the Divine always sees us (Hagar called the Divine, El-Roi, the One who sees…to see is to know and to know is to feel – the Divine sees/knows/feels it all with us).

Rahab is a reminder that the Divine loves us ALL…equally and has no favorites because each of us are favored!

Hannah shows us that the Divine answers prayers.

Ruth teaches us that the Divine is our Kinsman Redeemer and has Final Say!

Jael (Yaa-el) shows us that the Divine doesn’t discriminate…in any way.

Esther tells us the Divine can turn the heart of the King/Queen/dignitaries -through you…and me. We are Powerful and even more so, when Led by the Ultimately Powerful and Gentle One!

Elizabeth reminds us that we will give birth to Greatness beyond our imagination…whether that’s through childbirth, business, mentoring, empowering/nurturing others…we, as women, birth empires, after-all!

Mother Mary shows us the Divine will surprise, care for and protect us…even in the most interesting circumstances!

The “unnamed woman” with a blood disorder is a testament that the Divine is Our Great Physician and Healer.

Mary and Martha tell us that Resurrection happens!

Women – our faith, our choice to love ourselves first/well, our pursuit of our dreams are ever telling a story – one of tenacity, stamina, Wisdom, fierce loyalty and sisterhood.

Fellow Sister Warrior, I AM here, beside you, for you, warring alongside you, sitting in the shit with you and always available to hear your story!

Common Day Hero: The seemingly permanent has suddenly turned temporary (more times that you’d probably care to count), but one thing remains certain – the Divine holds you! Your faith continues to encourage many. Today, I dedicate this post to you, Euni.

wordS

A new year is upon us! HAPPY and HEALTHY 2021 dear ones!

Every year, I find it difficult to believe that another year has flown by…already?!

I’ve been a “words” person for as long as I can remember! My word is my bond. Words carry so much weight for me. When given the time to process, I AM careful with my words. My heart is to only say words from a place of love and kindness.

When not given the time to process, I’ve said words that were hurtful to others. Words I’d like to erase. sigh. As much as is possible (when the parties have made themselves available), I have apologized for negative words.

At times, my words have been misunderstood. I haven’t always accurately stated a true reflection of my heart and haven’t always been given the chance to clear up misunderstandings. I’ve reconciled those within myself.

How many of us have felt the cut…the sting…the blow of hurtful words? I guess all of us. sigh. How many of us have felt empowered, uplifted and rejuvenated by encouraging words? I trust all of us!

wordS…powerful, inspiring, motivating…crushing…if we take the “S” and put it up front, we have Sword. I personally believe Truth is our sword.

Sometimes, circumstances cause our vision to become blurred. Sometimes, we are quick to doubt the Truth and believe lies. Sometimes, we grow weary and our strength is depleted.

If we are sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, angry or fill in the blank, may we let in the Light and Love of those around us. May we let the Truth be spoken and sung over/for us, so Truth alone takes root in us.

Dear fellow Warrior, let’s raise our Swords in unison…especially for those of us who have no strength to lift ours in this moment. Let’s put our arms around and under each other; let’s commit to support one another with love and grace. Let’s commit to kind words, gentle/affirming actions and silence as needed…and always, let’s raise our swords on behalf of our collective/total healing and health.

As we step into the new year, may we be empowered by Truth…to process each day, to fully face tomorrow and always to keep our heads held up high because even on the most difficult days, this is the Truth:

I AM who I AM says I AM…and so are you!

Truth comes through the words of The Divine (now and always)…the words of those committed to carrying/walking with me through difficult moments…the words of countless songs, stories and prayers.

Through my tears, I choose to let Truth wash over me, cover me, fill me…and I raise my sword. Full of gratitude for the fellow Warriors alongside me, especially in this season.

Common Day Hero: You are a Warrior, friend in need, Truth Teller and fierce Mom. Thank you for praying, believing and standing with/for me. NicoleR, I dedicate this post to you.

forgiveness

Definitions for forgiveness are probably over a hun’ed. I have had to resolve within myself what forgiveness is for me, personally…practically. What best helps my heart remain pure, true and not stuck in revenge-mode?

For me, forgiveness is not forgetting…I’ve heard “forgive and forget” from so many well intentioned people. Nah maaaan, I don’t forget. For me, forgiveness is remembering without reliving the pain, the sting and all the negative weight of/from the incident.

Forgiveness is a journey ~ full of twists and turns, rough terrain and always the unexpected. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any clear direction. Stay the course. Sit with it…as long as needed (this may bother humans, but not The Divine). Pause a moment and just breathe.

Forgiveness is choosing to fully release (daily…sometimes multiple times a day!). And by release, I’m tryna say that I take a few really deep breaths, punch a pillow, go for a walk, light a candle, scream at the heavens, see a licensed therapist, angry draw, burn incense, join a support group, start the music or inspirational speakers playlist, quote or read Scripture and/or positive statements/affirmations of Truth…

I encourage any/all methods that help to fully release from our bodies the hurt, sadness, anger and negative energy that seeks residence in us. At our optimal, we are conduits of the positive, the beneficial, the healing and restoration of ourselves and all around us. Choose life. Choose the positive.

I choose to be a forgiver. I choose to be a conduit/channel for The Divine.

Actions speak, so I have practiced watching closely and believing the behaviors of those around me. I’m a “words” person and unfortunately, it took me several y-e-a-r-s to reach a place of weighing the actions of individuals. sigh. Regardless of the words thrown our way, what are the actions/behaviors saying?

Strength and courage dear one, as you face the difficult, painful and maybe frustrating Truth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal the offender apologizing. Forgiveness doesn’t equal the feelings disappearing. Forgiveness is a choice. I remind myself often that the beauty of love is choice. From a heart full of love for self, The Divine and our fellow humans, the gift of forgiveness is born.

Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t share the same definition. Reconciliation within yourself is crucial, but reconciling with another individual is not entirely in our court. We may need to reconcile and resolve within ourselves that the relationship/s we thought were solid forevah, aren’t. That is alright.

I have come to believe that although I continue to remain loving, kind and untethered, I am not responsible for other humans. I need not carry anyone, but myself. I am fully responsible for my behavior alone.

And, could it be that the people who walk out of our lives unexpectedly or those whom we need to keep at a distance for our own health’s sake are reminders of the promise of The Divine to always come to our rescue…always care for us even when we don’t realize how deeply we are being cared for in the moment?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have no boundaries. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness emancipates us to create a property line for our hearts and minds. Many people suggest that if our forgiveness was “real” then we would allow room for the individual/s who have violated our trust. Not so, my fellow warriors.

We need not grant access to those who have shown that they can’t be trusted. We decide who has access to our hearts, our time, our energy. When we unshackle ourselves from the grip of those who have wronged us, we are FREE to set healthy boundaries and honestly work through questions such as:

Do I need to answer this or does this call get sent to voicemail? Once I listen to the voicemail, does my heart need twenty-four to seventy-two hours (or more!) before deciding if I will respond? IF it is best that I not respond now, how can I release this, so that I am not carrying an ounce of negative energy surrounding it?

How do I set aside every negative weight, so that my heart remains free?

IF I have decided that a response is alright at this time, which method is safest for my heart: a phone call, text or email? Is this someone I need to visit in person? If so, do I need to take a real/true friend with me?

Only you can decide. My encouragement is that these decisions genuinely be made from our hearts, not in the heat of the moment and not from our minds. Our heart leads because the work of The Divine is always in our hearts.

Everything I have shared on my blog, thus far, I have walked (or am currently walking through) myself. Truly in it all with you. The yuck, the difficult, the painful and the triumphant!

Fellow Warrior, you are not alone. Be still. Hear the Divine Whisper. Create a plan. Move accordingly.

Common Day Hero: Many look at you and see a list of titles…all the roles you fill. No shade – you fill every role well – always available and willing. I see a little boy…maybe four or five years of age. He is adorable; looks carefree but carries more weight than anyone could begin to know. I hope that little boy breathes – fully and freely this year…the year of the fulfillment of the promises of Yesú. I dedicate this post to you, Chetayee.

Warrior

Dear Warrior,

When I say Warrior, I AM including each/all of us.

I know we get weary, long sigh…so weary that we can’t even begin to describe the exhaustion. I am here…in it…with you. It has brought me comfort to know that I’m not alone. I hope you find solace as well knowing that The Divine is a safe place, a shelter, a refuge. And fellow Warriors (seen and unseen) are in the fight with you.

War on, Warrior. You’re not alone, even on the days you feel the loneliest and alone.

Rest up, Warrior. Take care of your heart…daily.

I AM warring alongside you, fellow Warrior. Here…in it, with and always, for you.

Suit up, Warrior. Put the armor on – again. Faith is a shield (I’m raising my fist…as in power to all people!)

Thanks be to God, who gives us Victory! Praise has been (and is) a sanctuary for me.

Victory doesn’t always look the way we (or those around us) believe it will. Victory may be getting out of bed. Victory may be the strength to draw the curtains back and let light in, even if only for a few minutes a day. Victory may be making (or accepting) that difficult phone call. Victory may be skipping dessert during the week (help me LORDT!).

Victory may be consistency in taking the necessary medication. Victory may be drawing boundaries that were never drawn before because of fear, doubt, insecurity or some other negative. Victory may be saying “no” to people who didn’t ever stop to ask; just assumed that you’d always be a “yes” person. Victory may be fill in the blank for what your soul needs now, here…in this very moment.

Victory to you, Warrior! We’re in this together!

Love, Prayers, Peace and Good Vibes ~ Warrior lali

Common Day Hero: As soon as you hear negative news, you immediately reach out to physically be present. You asked and continued to ask when we could meet. Your love is felt. You are not a “fair-weather only” person and I AM grateful. You are a fierce Momma, a loyal wife, an exemplary daughter and daughter-in-law. You are seen and loved. Warrior Tina, I dedicate this post to you.

Scroll to top