{"id":1257,"date":"2020-10-02T07:34:29","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T13:34:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/\/?p=1257"},"modified":"2020-10-02T07:34:41","modified_gmt":"2020-10-02T13:34:41","slug":"kind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/?p=1257","title":{"rendered":"kind"},"content":{"rendered":"

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all<\/em> the way down to my pace, but enough to be just<\/em> a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk and the other half couldn’t find a safe landing. It all happened SO fast.<\/p>\n

What I know is as I was falling, I put my hands out…as soon as I could, so that I didn’t face-plant into the unforgiving concrete! My knee immediately started stinging, my hands were scraped up and stinging too, but PRAISE Abba my glasses weren’t scratched at all .<\/p>\n

For those who may not know, I am quite blind without my glasses and even with them, the vision’s a little unreliable! So, unfortunately, this makes my glasses unnecessarily expensive. I can choose a no name, plain pair and it will still hit well into three digits without the anti-glare lenses! Long sigh.<\/p>\n

So yah, I’m praising coz I also turned my head to the side as I was falling and my glasses didn’t touch the ground! My husband immediately turned around saying, did your foot give way? He started to reach down and I yelled, don’t touch me! He said ok, sighed and stood next to me.<\/p>\n

He just couldn’t accept that I was saying no to what he viewed as much needed help<\/em>. Why would I refuse him picking me up? It would go much faster. He could be on his way then. He needed to do<\/em> something.<\/p>\n

My personality is to ask for help when I need it and if<\/em> asked, let you know if I need it or not. So, asking me one time is alright because I’ll shoot straight. In the past, I would’ve just let him pick me up, check the injury, hold me, etc. And my reason would’ve been so that he<\/em> didn’t feel bad. Not today!<\/p>\n

It took me a minute, but I sat there as long as I<\/strong> needed. And while I sat, evaluating the situation, gathering my strength, shaking a little and just trying to breathe<\/em>, I had to answer him at least five<\/em> times – no, stop, I got this! His personality is that of a fixer\/rescuer\/savior.<\/p>\n

My husband cares for me and I care for him, but we are two very different personalities. Not right or wrong. Just different<\/em>! One is not “better” than the other – just different!<\/p>\n

I finally felt ready enough to move. First, a deep breath – pause – then I folded one leg behind me – pause – then put one foot flat on the ground – pause – leaned forward – pause – placed both hands on the ground – pause – pushed up with my hands (so that no weight fell on the injured knee\/leg) – pause – stood up straight – pause – took a deep breath and then<\/em> started walking…er, limping!<\/p>\n

As I limp-walked, I thought about how many<\/em> times I’ve just let others act…without regard for what I felt or wanted in the moment. Others.<\/p>\n

Well-intentioned others. Narcissistic others. Trying-to-help-but-not-hearing-me<\/em> others. Others. No more! It may take me longer, it may ruffle some feathers, it may look unconventional, but Imma be still. Imma sit\/stay in the same place for as long as I need. I genuinely believe that The Divine created us all<\/strong> <\/em>with power and equality. We have varying abilities, talents and gifts, but created with power and equality.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A short, four years ago, I began learning and fully<\/em> embracing my intrinsic worth and value. I learned that it is completely alright for me to respond differently than how I’ve been…conditioned. It is alright to take a step back, take time to breathe…pause\/process…then respond from my heart.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It’s still new to me. I’m fresh out the toddler stage in this area, but I continue to learn and grow.<\/p>\n

I’m sometimes viewed as unkind, ungrateful and a host of other negatives when I ask for space. I feel that happens when we elevate one personality over another. We are not<\/em> all the same. We need not<\/em> be the same. Our differences if <\/strong><\/em>welcomed, offer ~ beauty, diversity, freedom and creativity, just to name a few.<\/p>\n

Many times we equate kindness to not<\/em> <\/strong>speaking up for ourselves. You can be Kind and<\/em> Firm. One doesn’t negate the other. Make room for yourself: your feelings, your thoughts, your heart. You can be Kind and<\/em> Firm as you pause to process, breathe, evaluate and move forward.<\/p>\n

In all of your relationships, are you remaining true to what’s on your heart? Do you genuinely know<\/strong><\/em> (in your heart)<\/em> that it is alright to ask for space? If space isn’t “given”, will you take the space you need?<\/p>\n

Common Day Hero:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/em>You are a strong prayer warrior. You sympathize with others regardless of differences. You are a beautiful person, both externally and internally. You make the best fudge (why can’t this be available year-round again?!)<\/em>. Aunt Karen\/Nana, I dedicate this post to you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earlier this week, my husband and I went for a walk together. He slowed his pace for me. Not all the way down to my pace, but enough to be just a tiny bit ahead of me! We walked a mile and then my left foot failed me! One half came down on the sidewalk…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1274,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[9,15,6,10,7,8,12,13,11,14,5],"class_list":["post-1257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-breathe","tag-heart","tag-moms","tag-pause","tag-self","tag-selfcare","tag-speakup","tag-standup","tag-strength","tag-true","tag-wives"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lalijean.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/arek-adeoye-ljoCgjs63SM-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1706&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1257"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1302,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions\/1302"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lalijean.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}