Fixing

I’ve been an empath from as early as I can remember, but the culture I was immersed in and the religious/social circles of my parents, didn’t encourage this. In recent years, I’ve learned to embrace it…see the good in it and be confident in the gift that it is. I made a decision to be fully present in each situation and refrain from “fixing”.

Are there people or situations we find ourselves “fixing” or attempting to “fix”? Often, fixing is another form of control and/or manipulation. At times, “fixing” provides us a place of hiding. When we focus on “fixing” others, we avoid the deeper issues of our own hearts. Each of us is on a journey all our own.

Through the years, I have been misunderstood many times. I have betrayed my kind heart by saying words that were harsh or unnecessary. It was always an attempt to “rescue” or “fix” those whom I loved dearly, but I lost a few relationships along the way. I couldn’t understand why this was happening when my heart was always for people. Some of the losses are on me. Some aren’t.

It may be difficult to watch someone we love on a journey that doesn’t meet our expectations. It is painful to see someone we care about making unhealthy or harmful choices. Do we remain kind, dependable and available throughout the journey or are we harsh, distant and unavailable? Are we genuinely trusting the process of the path our loved one is traveling?

To be present, loving and in non-fixing mode takes many forms for me: sitting in silence together, engaging my heart and ears (to hear and feel), crying together, a hug or dap (depending on the individual…and now with ‘rona among us, just a wave from a distance or a video call!), mailing a card, texting a funny or kind thought, leaving something at the front door like: flowers, a meal, or a gift card for a meal (for those of us not called to cook!), praying, so many possibilities!

I use words only if and when I feel a gentle, but firm impression on my heart…The Voice of the Divine nudging me. And more than not, I ask questions…how, what, when questions (thank you Jin!). I have found that when an individual has to answer a question, it usually requires more thought and deeper inspection. Upon reflection, some will choose to be honest, others won’t, but I am learning to simply accept the answers I’m given.

Now that I have more consistently been living in this space of Freedom, not “fixing”, I AM fully enjoying all the relationships in my life. I AM free to breathe, relax, trust…and in turn, those around me experience a bit of that Freedom. I AM more confident in the Love of the Divine. I’m human and very flawed, but more than ever, trusting the Divine to do the work only heaven can (and will do!) now that I’m staying in my lane.

Common Day Hero: It’s been quite a journey, thus far and I’m grateful that through the years (“many dangers, toils and snares”!), our friendship has been a kick in the pants, a soothing balm, comedic relief, sweet like ice cream and whatever else we need it to be in the moment! Thankful that the Creator of the stars aligned our paths and happy you chose to stay on the path that intertwined with mine. Janice, I dedicate this post to you.

Scroll to top