Can’t Breathe…

George Floyd. Another life…senselessly…mercilessly…horrifically ended. I have cried so many tears. sigh. 

When I was seventeen (mid-nineties!), I graduated from a small, private school in Vidor, Texas. This is the town where I first saw the KKK…not on a screen…live, on the side of the road and in their “uniforms”. I attended private schools from Pre-K through twelfth grade and had no idea what the KKK was. These schools didn’t teach about the dark side of the history of our state or nation.

The dark side…the inhumane treatment of Native Americans and how we almost made them extinct…the slavery, lynchings and innumerable atrocities against African Americans and the discrimination and concentration camps for Asian Americans…none of that was included in my history lessons.

When I got home that day (after seeing the KKK), I asked my biological mom why, since it wasn’t Halloween, were “ghosts” standing on the street? She said oh, people are crazy. I thought ok, I need to call that French Vanilla lady from church. The few interactions I had with her told me that she was a safe person.

I called her and she said, “Get over here now and we’ll talk about it.” When I reached her house, she told me if I saw anything like that again, not to make eye contact and not to stop. She knew how I like to talk and make friends with everyone. She answered all my questions. Yes, this is the woman who eventually became my dear French Vanilla Mom! Glad she was (and is) in my life. I was sad that day and felt so wronged for not being taught or told this prior. Guess I should also explain that my biological parents didn’t let me watch TV except for Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow, the occasional spiritually-bent movie and Strawberry Shortcake!

I have experienced kindness from all flavors/people groups, so I know that we have good and not-so-great in ALL races. Some of us are related to people who condone, enable, agree with or propagate prejudice, racism and supremacy of certain groups. We can’t choose our families of origin, but we can choose a different path than any negative ones in which we may have been raised.

For quite some time now, I’ve been wondering…how can our family be (even a small) part of the solution?

Some points we’re considering: Are we speaking up so that our sphere of influence is more aware of subtle prejudices? Are we in groups that challenge us to see/face our implicit biases? Do people of a different ethnicity, religion, background have to “prove” themselves to be a part of our circe? If we are in positions to hire people, do credentials or names and ethnicity influence our decision-making process? When presented with a story, is our first thought incriminating if it involves a person of color? At the thought of our children interracially dating/marrying, are we delighted or fearful? Do we have access to people in power? If so, are we having the difficult conversations necessary to bring change? Are we willing to open our hearts and minds, genuinely listen and change accordingly so that others can see/feel/know that all lives really matter?

I believe we are all ONE family…an array of stunning colors, a variety of flavors bringing our unique backgrounds and beauty to create a magnificent tapestry with ONE voice…an inclusive voice where ALL are truly heard.

My dear European American/Caucasian friends and all friends with connections (regardless of race), we desperately NEED one another now! Will we use our voice for those voices who aren’t being heard even now? Will we use our privilege for those who aren’t as privileged? Will we use our influence for those whom only WE can influence? Will we use our breath for those who Can’t Breathe? It’s really late…but not too late!

Suggestions:

Read books about the experience of cultures (other than our own) in America.

Watch documentaries and movies about individual/collective experiences of cultures (other than our own) in America.

Start a book club to discuss the experiences of those different from us in culture/background, religion, political views. Note and discuss the group’s thoughts and feelings.

Create a safe space for a diverse group: those who are open to explore, learn, grow and change (maybe commit to journal every bias/thought/feeling that comes up for thirty days and then discuss).

Add minority speakers to our podcast lists.

Become and/or support activists, policy makers, educators, spiritual leaders, change agents.

Check for local organizations who have been and are working diligently towards racial equality, equity and true reconciliation.

ALL of us die, if ONE of us can’t breathe.

Common Day Hero: Long before Facebook, Twitter and Insta, we were friends! You are generous, a trailblazer and patient with my atypical ways! LaToya, Victory of the People (insert raised fist!), I dedicate this post to you!