I learned generosity from my parents. Growing up, I watched my mother (Kamala) give away so much to many people. Typically, she gave to those less fortunate than us and religious leaders. We didn’t have much ourselves, but from the little we had, we always gave. I say “we” but the truth is at times, I was forced to give.
I was certainly not happy when she gave away my things. She would usually tell me not to be attached to anything and that I should be grateful for everything I had (never mind how long it was mine!). Then she would tell me that I needed to share said item including reasons why I should happily give it away (sometimes in front of the person!). sigh. I believe her intentions were good.
At seventeen, I moved in with my vanilla/European American/Caucasian family and witnessed the generosity of my French Vanilla mom Jada. She modeled a “cheerful giver”.
I began giving generously as a teenager, but sadly had no boundaries. I didn’t save or invest. I had nothing but debt to show for all my years of work. Enter Niji Stanley (best friend, lover, favorite/only husband!). Thankfully, he is an avid saver and debt-averse! He saw my joy in giving and helped create boundaries, so that I could continue to be generous.
When we first began our life together, our salaries combined weren’t much. Niji was committed to saving twenty-five dollars a month. In addition, I had twenty-five dollars a month to give from what I began calling my benevolent fund. If I chose to give all twenty-five to one individual then I had to wait till the following month to give again!
With every promotion and raise, my benevolent fund increased! Since Niji is prone to save more and I am prone to give more, we make a good team. We challenge one another and through the years have learned to give each other room to fully be our true selves.
I recently gave two hundred dollars to someone whose work hours were affected by ‘rona/Covid-19! The following week I received two hundred dollars from a friend who wanted to support my business! Last week I gave seventy-five dollars to a friend (to support her business). Later in the week, I did some editing work for a friend and she gave me one hundred dollars!
I AM fascinated to see these principles at play, “what goes around, comes around”, “karma” and “we reap what we sow”. I don’t give to get. I also do not advocate giving with an expectation to get something in return. I give because I AM genuinely overjoyed to help others.
When I was younger, I gave without thinking. Over time, I have learned to be still, listen and give as I’m led (otherwise, the needs are overwhelming and crushing for a giver who is also an empath).
When we sow generosity into the universe, it’s my personal belief that we reap generously from the Divine.
Where can we give today? A family in need, a local non-profit organization, a conscious entrepreneur, a mental health counselor, an auto shop (pay the bill for someone) a therapist (give ourselves the gift of healing), pay speeding tickets (or other fines) for those less fortunate, support a local business funding policy change/s…
What can we give today? Our time – volunteering, our expertise -online, over the phone or on a video call (since ‘rona got many of us at home again!), our possessions – clothing or other items around the house that haven’t been touched in GAWD only knows and our finances…
Common Day Hero: Life didn’t bring what you hoped or expected. Through it all, you remained (and still are) a devoted prayer warrior. My beautiful and strong mother, Kamala, I dedicate this post to you.
