lalijean.com – Page 11

December 26, 2020

cheer

The season…day(!) of cheer is here!

The definition of cheer that typically comes to my mind is a shout for joy, praise, whoop, hooray. Another definition for cheer is to give comfort or support and that meaning is what I’ve experienced this season…and day.

Friends who haven’t needed questions answered as much as they’ve needed to be here…with me. Friends who have been kind whether they agreed with me or not. Friends who have sent reminders of love via texts, phone calls, dropping off a meal (or two), flowers, sweets, prayers, chai/coffee, hugs…and spending time with me.

I AM so grateful for this form of cheer. I haven’t been able to shout for joy in these moments. I have been able to receive comfort and support. I AM able to fully receive now.

There was a time (in years past) when I didn’t know how to receive. I had grown accustomed to only being the giver. I was raised to be available to all in need. I was raised to not show any sign of doubt, fear, sadness or inadequacy. As I got older, I began facing all the reasons why…that brought many things to the surface and after sorting through, I began choosing transformation.

A piece of choosing transformation was that I began evaluating my relationships. I began noticing the spaces that were truly safe for me and I let myself simply/truly be me.

This season…and especially today, I hope you were/are able to let in the moments of cheer/comfort…to fully receive them. I hope you were able to have a happy Christmas and a merry holiday ~ not because everything is simply splendid, but because in our broken state, we are not alone.

My personal belief is that The Divine is broken with us and simultaneously whole for us…our sustenance, our Peace, our HOPE, especially when things are unexpectedly or dauntingly bleak. As we remember those who have gone on before us and those who have chosen to go on without us, may we find cheer/comfort in The One Who will never leave or discard us and because of Whom, we are forever LOVED and HELD.

Common Day Hero: Our friendship spans more than two decades! We have seen one another through some difficult, happy, unexpected and interesting moments. Always praying for, encouraging and loving one another…grateful for you. Corncurl, I dedicate this to you.

December 18, 2020

delight

When I hear the word delight, I immediately envision a child about three or four years of age. I can see this child laughing fully and freely…maybe because it’s the age that I imagine a child hasn’t yet allowed outside voices to squash his/her heart.

Delight is defined as great pleasure…at times, delight can be just simple, seemingly little things that bring a smile, a sigh of relief, giggles, laughter…glee! This time of year, I’m thinking of candy canes, egg nog, the smell of freshly baked sweet delights, holiday music, the laughter of family, a drive through the neighborhood… taking in the Christmas lights.

For some of us, the holiday season and all that it entails may bring sheer delight! For some of us, this particular holiday season may be painfully difficult with DaCovid/DeVyress and all the yuck that has come up because of it (with home, school, work, relationships not just the disease itself!). For some of us, pandemic or not, the holiday season may just not be cause for delight.

Wherever we are with it, may I suggest that we look for little moments of delight, along the way? We may only have a handful this season; may we fully enjoy them. May they grant strength for the journey.

My moments of delight have been time by the lake…the stillness and beauty of nature is refreshing. Time with my children ~ they are kind and funny! Time spent reading ~ books have been encouraging, challenging and comforting…a personal delight since childhood. And there’s my youngest furry one, my kitten Midnight. She is a delightful bundle of energy, curiosity and the sweetest meows.

The word “delight” also reminds me of a verse I learned as a child. Verse four of Chapter thirty-seven from the Book of Psalms (The Bible) ~ delight yourself in Yahweh/God and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I don’t take this verse to equal me getting what I think I want or if I do this, I get this. I can’t always reconcile the way The Divine chooses to move people and things in/out of our lives. I personally believe each movement is filled with purpose. It doesn’t always feel good and I don’t always understand or like it. That is alright.

I choose delight because I AM forever a child of The Divine ~ embraced by Love, surrounded by Light and forever secure in the Eternal. I pray this season brings your heart many unexpected delights.

Common Day Hero: You have been a shoulder for many to lean on, through the years. You are a resilient warrior. Know that I’m here for you, anytime. You are very dear to me. Anitha, I dedicate this post to you.

December 11, 2020

choose

My personal belief is that The All-Powerful One chose (and chooses) mutual relationship rather than control and a robot-like interaction with us. We, as individuals, are given choice by The Divine. This reminds me, yet again that the beauty of love is choice!

I have heard (and seen) this statement countless times since childhood: Choose you this day whom you will serve. Although, I don’t recall having seen the phrase prior to that statement. Verse fifteen of Chapter twenty-four in the Book of Joshua (The Bible) says, “And if it seem evil to you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve…” another translation says if it is unacceptable to you…

My life is worship, an act of service to The Sovereign One. And if I decide that it is unacceptable to serve The Divine, I have the freedom to walk away, at will, no notice required. I have the freedom to also choose to return…anytime; at will.

When I decide that “good” or “better” is somewhere outside of The Divine plan, I have the right to choose not to serve anymore. And when I say “serve”, I do not intend to imply servanthood. I AM FREE. I am in a relationship with The Divine by choice.

I choose to believe.

I choose to serve.

I choose to offer my life as worship.

My experience is that I continue to gain love, light, joy and peace from my decision to embrace The Divine.

What do you choose today?

Be confident in YOUR choice.

Know why you choose what/whom you choose.

I know in Whom I have believed. Humans come and go, but Yesú has promised never to discard or abandon us…regardless.

Whatever your choice, dear one, I’m here. Always. Loving you. Simply being here with/for you.

Common Day Hero: You were always around for the laughs (bringing the laughs too!)….more recently, you’ve been with me in the difficult…the pain and tears. Even though the miles separate us, I AM so grateful for your love and prayers. Be kind to R! I dedicate this post to you, Jibu.

December 4, 2020

rest

The love of Yesú is Eternal…timeless…Divine.

I have sat with this statement at various points, through the years…trying to let it sink in and I sit with it now – nothing can separate me from the love of Yesú…nuh-thing. no one…ever!

I AM always held. Always loved. Always wanted. I can never, ever be separated from the One who created me, placed dignity and worth within me, filled me with Everlasting love and Eternal hope.

I can rest in that Truth.

This has always encouraged me, but especially these past two months, I’ve been reminding myself often: humans can sometimes take external things – money, vehicles, land, houses, clothes, jewelry, appliances, furniture, fill in the blank…any external thing can be taken away.

What can never be touched by another human are the Eternal gifts I’ve chosen to receive from The Divine: love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, faith, integrity and hope…just to name a few.

If you’re going through (or have gone through) a time when you felt robbed and terribly wronged or violated, I am saddened, hurt, upset and feel the weight of it all with you. I can’t claim to know what specifically will help us, as individuals, because each of our circumstances are complex and unique.

May I encourage you to consider reaching out to a therapist, a support group, a true friend, a mentor to receive the strength you need to fully process…to sit with it all and completely feel and face the difficult…my hope is that we continually gain healing and health in every area.

Give yourself permission to rest in the fact that there are internal/Eternal gifts that can never be touched by a human. I AM powerful is a strong reminder for me, especially in shaky moments. I say it often to remember Truth when lies are swarming all around and trying to pull me down.

Yesú remains a solace, a safe place, a strong tower, a refuge, always inviting, unconditionally loving, eternally patient, incomparably kind, The Best Surprise Giver (fa real!), Miracle-Maker, Ultimate Warrior, the solidarity of a loving sibling, the nurturing warmth of Amma (Mother), the confidence of Abba (Father), a faithful and forever friend…

There is so much more that could be said and I feel it still wouldn’t be enough to accurately describe The Divine. I have personally found in Yesú ~ Strength for this present moment and Hope for the next.

Dear weary soul, I invite you to rest.

Anytime I say the word rest, I’m reminded of the words of Yesú in Verse twenty-eight of Chapter eleven of the Book of St. Matthew (The Bible), “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest“.

Rest is a gift ~ for the taking, if we choose.

Will we choose to believe Truth, despite what we may currently/physically see around us? Will we choose rest? Will we choose to fall into the Arms of The One who will never grow tired of us?

For me, rest equals surrender.

I see The arms of Love reaching out to me, so that I can choose…surrender.

Surrender is releasing my burdens: daily, I choose to release negative thoughts, people and circumstances – and especially those over which I have no control.

Surrender is fully receiving the Love and Comfort offered: daily, I choose to focus on how loved, protected and secure I AM in Yesú.

What does rest look like for you?

What comes up for you when you hear the word surrender?

Common Day Hero: You are loyal, intentional, a visionary and a listener/follower of Yesú. I felt your kindness and love from day one ~ you shared your dreams for the love of your life (glad to see how The Divine orchestrated all of that so beautifully!). It was a joy to dance and celebrate with you at my fortieth. I hold you and your family dear. You have always and will forever be Bhai to me. Today, I dedicate this post to you.

November 27, 2020

thankful

I AM thankful for pleasant surprises and unexpected gifts this season.

All gifts don’t come nicely wrapped with a neatly-tied bow on top. Some come in the middle of or with a mess. Learning to receive every good and perfect gift regardless of how it appears to me.

Today, I’m thinking of an unexpected gift ~ a friend encouraging me to begin sharing my story. Just a few years ago, I’d be horrified at the thought. I have been hiding in plain sight for so long, but The Divine has been preparing me for more than I can even claim to know.

Close to three and a half years ago, I began opening my heart to Yesú…I chose to trust, to be real – to show all that’s cracked and broken within me because only through those places can the Light shine through and pierce the darkness.

And that trust…that decision to be real led me to fully surrender. For me, surrender is a daily choice and simply means allowing myself to be held by The Divine. I don’t “hold on” or “hang in there” because I AM held. Firmly, gently and most lovingly held by The One who chooses to never let go, leave or abandon me.

From my choice of surrender, came the opportunity to share a slice of my story…

I AM excited to share with you dear ones…my FIRST podcast interview!

To listen and share with all your friends, copy/click on the link below:

https://www.josephwarren.net/brokencatholic/295-why-do-we-call-god-the-ultimate-gentleman-marriage-divorce-episode

After listening to the podcast, would you consider these questions:

Is anything currently keeping you from choosing to trust The Divine plan? If yes, with whom can you share this podcast, sincerely process and create mutual accountability?

What really resonated with your heart, today? How can you incorporate that take-away into your life?

Common Day Hero: Regardless of the day or time…I know whenever I need it, you will war for and alongside me. Grateful you’re in my ever-ready to spiritually fight circle! Grateful for the Truth you boldly share and receive. I hold you and your family close, always. MariaJose, I dedicate this post to you.

November 20, 2020

forgiveness

Definitions for forgiveness are probably over a hun’ed. I have had to resolve within myself what forgiveness is for me, personally…practically. What best helps my heart remain pure, true and not stuck in revenge-mode?

For me, forgiveness is not forgetting…I’ve heard “forgive and forget” from so many well intentioned people. Nah maaaan, I don’t forget. For me, forgiveness is remembering without reliving the pain, the sting and all the negative weight of/from the incident.

Forgiveness is a journey ~ full of twists and turns, rough terrain and always the unexpected. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any clear direction. Stay the course. Sit with it…as long as needed (this may bother humans, but not The Divine). Pause a moment and just breathe.

Forgiveness is choosing to fully release (daily…sometimes multiple times a day!). And by release, I’m tryna say that I take a few really deep breaths, punch a pillow, go for a walk, light a candle, scream at the heavens, see a licensed therapist, angry draw, burn incense, join a support group, start the music or inspirational speakers playlist, quote or read Scripture and/or positive statements/affirmations of Truth…

I encourage any/all methods that help to fully release from our bodies the hurt, sadness, anger and negative energy that seeks residence in us. At our optimal, we are conduits of the positive, the beneficial, the healing and restoration of ourselves and all around us. Choose life. Choose the positive.

I choose to be a forgiver. I choose to be a conduit/channel for The Divine.

Actions speak, so I have practiced watching closely and believing the behaviors of those around me. I’m a “words” person and unfortunately, it took me several y-e-a-r-s to reach a place of weighing the actions of individuals. sigh. Regardless of the words thrown our way, what are the actions/behaviors saying?

Strength and courage dear one, as you face the difficult, painful and maybe frustrating Truth.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal the offender apologizing. Forgiveness doesn’t equal the feelings disappearing. Forgiveness is a choice. I remind myself often that the beauty of love is choice. From a heart full of love for self, The Divine and our fellow humans, the gift of forgiveness is born.

Forgiveness and reconciliation don’t share the same definition. Reconciliation within yourself is crucial, but reconciling with another individual is not entirely in our court. We may need to reconcile and resolve within ourselves that the relationship/s we thought were solid forevah, aren’t. That is alright.

I have come to believe that although I continue to remain loving, kind and untethered, I am not responsible for other humans. I need not carry anyone, but myself. I am fully responsible for my behavior alone.

And, could it be that the people who walk out of our lives unexpectedly or those whom we need to keep at a distance for our own health’s sake are reminders of the promise of The Divine to always come to our rescue…always care for us even when we don’t realize how deeply we are being cared for in the moment?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we have no boundaries. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness emancipates us to create a property line for our hearts and minds. Many people suggest that if our forgiveness was “real” then we would allow room for the individual/s who have violated our trust. Not so, my fellow warriors.

We need not grant access to those who have shown that they can’t be trusted. We decide who has access to our hearts, our time, our energy. When we unshackle ourselves from the grip of those who have wronged us, we are FREE to set healthy boundaries and honestly work through questions such as:

Do I need to answer this or does this call get sent to voicemail? Once I listen to the voicemail, does my heart need twenty-four to seventy-two hours (or more!) before deciding if I will respond? IF it is best that I not respond now, how can I release this, so that I am not carrying an ounce of negative energy surrounding it?

How do I set aside every negative weight, so that my heart remains free?

IF I have decided that a response is alright at this time, which method is safest for my heart: a phone call, text or email? Is this someone I need to visit in person? If so, do I need to take a real/true friend with me?

Only you can decide. My encouragement is that these decisions genuinely be made from our hearts, not in the heat of the moment and not from our minds. Our heart leads because the work of The Divine is always in our hearts.

Everything I have shared on my blog, thus far, I have walked (or am currently walking through) myself. Truly in it all with you. The yuck, the difficult, the painful and the triumphant!

Fellow Warrior, you are not alone. Be still. Hear the Divine Whisper. Create a plan. Move accordingly.

Common Day Hero: Many look at you and see a list of titles…all the roles you fill. No shade – you fill every role well – always available and willing. I see a little boy…maybe four or five years of age. He is adorable; looks carefree but carries more weight than anyone could begin to know. I hope that little boy breathes – fully and freely this year…the year of the fulfillment of the promises of Yesú. I dedicate this post to you, Chetayee.

November 13, 2020

Warrior

Dear Warrior,

When I say Warrior, I AM including each/all of us.

I know we get weary, long sigh…so weary that we can’t even begin to describe the exhaustion. I am here…in it…with you. It has brought me comfort to know that I’m not alone. I hope you find solace as well knowing that The Divine is a safe place, a shelter, a refuge. And fellow Warriors (seen and unseen) are in the fight with you.

War on, Warrior. You’re not alone, even on the days you feel the loneliest and alone.

Rest up, Warrior. Take care of your heart…daily.

I AM warring alongside you, fellow Warrior. Here…in it, with and always, for you.

Suit up, Warrior. Put the armor on – again. Faith is a shield (I’m raising my fist…as in power to all people!)

Thanks be to God, who gives us Victory! Praise has been (and is) a sanctuary for me.

Victory doesn’t always look the way we (or those around us) believe it will. Victory may be getting out of bed. Victory may be the strength to draw the curtains back and let light in, even if only for a few minutes a day. Victory may be making (or accepting) that difficult phone call. Victory may be skipping dessert during the week (help me LORDT!).

Victory may be consistency in taking the necessary medication. Victory may be drawing boundaries that were never drawn before because of fear, doubt, insecurity or some other negative. Victory may be saying “no” to people who didn’t ever stop to ask; just assumed that you’d always be a “yes” person. Victory may be fill in the blank for what your soul needs now, here…in this very moment.

Victory to you, Warrior! We’re in this together!

Love, Prayers, Peace and Good Vibes ~ Warrior lali

Common Day Hero: As soon as you hear negative news, you immediately reach out to physically be present. You asked and continued to ask when we could meet. Your love is felt. You are not a “fair-weather only” person and I AM grateful. You are a fierce Momma, a loyal wife, an exemplary daughter and daughter-in-law. You are seen and loved. Warrior Tina, I dedicate this post to you.

November 6, 2020

movements…

There are a plethora of movements out there, born with good intentions. If you are led to join and can bring good to the world through it, please join. And let’s not be the judge regarding the org and movements our friends join. WE cannot even begin to know or fully comprehend what another human has endured, experienced or survived. May we truly grow in grace…for ourselves so that we can then extend it to all.

What has been so heavy on my heart for quite some time though is this: joining a movement is something external. Others can see that you’re a part of something big, something that “looks” good, something that causes words of praise or awards…somethings that makes us “feel” better.

My caution is this: listen to the impressions of The Divine on your heart. What’s your motive? Do the movements you’ve become a part of match the way you live your daily life?

Are we saying the words “all are equal” or “black lives matter” or “brown lives matter” or “all lives matter” but living in a way that shows all lives matter on a sliding scale and not equally? Are we saying what’s popular so we can hide behind prejudice tendencies and/or racial bias?

I’m talkiN, my son/daughter ain’t datiN that fill in the blank because it sadly ain’t just black and white. It’s all flavors. I’m talkiN, oh, how do you even say that name; I’m not calling that person in for an interview? I’m talkiN, we don’t go to those people’s house across the street, ok kids? I’m talkiN, God loves all people, but we can keep a safe distance or just send a check. I’m talkiN, they’re not from around here, so we don’t need to try. I’m talkiN, “you don’t have an accent”, yes, I do, it’s just one that’s more common in America, is all, thank you!

On and on and on, it’s in ALL cultures -all flavors of us humankind. Many times, as humans, we prize “easy” and “same” rather than the joy that comes from cultivating the difficult, the awkward, the interesting. I know from experience, I am so much richer in spirit because of the deep, difficult and meaningful relationships that I’ve given and received grace upon grace.

All of us, as people, elevating one group over another is a disservice to each of us. Believing that our ethnic, religious, social, cultural (or any other) group is superior in some way hurts us all. I believe EACH group has beauty to offer and NONE of us need stand in the way of that beauty being brought to the table (individually or collectively).

EVERY tribe. EVERY tongue. EVERY nation. EVERY group deserves a seat, a voice and unhurried time at the table. How can we, as individuals, begin living in a way that genuinely promotes that…over the LONG haul?

Are we saying we stand with those who have been marginalized? Are we using words that lead others to believe we are helping those less fortunate when in reality we are lining our pockets…or receiving perks/benefits (some seen/known and some unseen by others)?

Are we saying we believe in the voice of women? Are we saying that women are so essential and vital to every conversation, but silencing (or limiting, dismissing, ignoring) them in our families, businesses, religious gatherings etc?

Are we saying that children can be themselves, share freely and be open, but questioning what they share and why? Are we pretending to be safe spaces and secretly doing more harm than the outside world can ever see?

All of us are flawed. Being flawed is not an issue. WE are all flawed humans.

Pretending to be faultless, pretending to be God, pretending that we have no issues is the danger. In the pretending, as time passes by, lies grow and reality blurs. Each of us have a choice…to choose to do the difficult heart-work of being real, authentic, honest, transparent…or not.

Throughout history, “image” has been king. Some of us haven’t allowed what the world at large thinks to influence us. Some of us blindly follow those closest to us (rather than working through situations). Some of us haven’t known how to break free. Some of us haven’t even thought about the possibility of things being any different. We place so much value on what a human says to us or about us. I have learned to place value on The Divine. The Whisper that I hear only when I choose to be still.

As long as we live, there will always be chatter. While I believe that we were made for community, I do not believe in hiding the Truth or using connections and groups as a way to allow evil to flourish. With every decision, we, as individuals, are either a movement for help or harm.

May we come to a place of facing, acknowledging and sharing Truth (even if NO one stands with us). Recently, a song from childhood just came out; I started singing, “though none go with me, still I will follow”. Yes, regardless of who’s with, for or against me, I choose to wholeheartedly follow The Divine.

Everything that we’ve worked so hard to hide, or others have said we must hide need not tie us down anymore. May we come to a place of being still and choose surrender, solely to The Divine, so that we can be free!

Freedom is a journey…a process. Everyday, we can choose Freedom. We can remind ourselves (repeatedly) of Truth. WE can give ourselves grace in the moment, for the moment and despite the moment/s. I’m sending love, courage, grace and strength your way today, fellow Warrior. Here in it, with and always, for you!

Common Day Hero: Yesú brought you into my life at such a young age. You were always wise beyond your years, even in childhood. Our adult lives have mirrored each other’s so much, without us knowing. I always held you dear. I AM grateful that we can go deep, be our most authentic selves and always, no matter the present hell, laugh fully. Laughter is such good medicine. I dedicate this post to you, Queen Sheeba!

October 30, 2020

heart

Is there any area in our lives where we’re allowing external influences to drive/push us? We feel the anxiety…chest constricting…can’t breathe and still we allow ourselves to be driven by the words of those around us…those we deem more powerful or somehow “worthy”.

We know it isn’t what we really want, but we squash our own hearts and keep running. That describes how I lived until I hit year forty/fo’ty on this planet. Almost six months in as a fo’ty year old, I knew I had to change course. I felt a strong need to reach out and quickly get help or I would drown. I don’t know that I can even begin to express it all – I just felt a deep need to be made well.

Yep, that’s another throwback to my Sunday School days. It’s the sixth verse of the fifth chapter of St. John in The Bible. Depending on the translation you read, the exact wording varies, but essentially Yesú asked a man something like this: Do you want to get well? Do you truly long to be healed? Do you want to be made well?

That day, I felt an inexplicable pull to choose something that showed potential in bringing wellness and healing to my soul. I reached out to a neighbor who had previously (and by previously I mean like a year prior!) mentioned benefitting from an experience-based/life enrichment/heart-level training. When I asked her about it, she said, oh I want my family to go first. I said ohhhh…k. Thought that was odd, but I didn’t let it stop me.

I remembered that an acquaintance had also mentioned this training (three years prior!). I reached out and she gladly gave me the website and all other info that I needed to register. I immediately registered for the next available class that worked best, based on my husband’s travel schedule. That class was in April two thousand seventeen. I had NO idea what it would be like. I just knew I was going to give it my best; my everything!

I WANTED to become well. I WANTED to be healed. I WANTED to be restoreD (not a typo!).

There were a total of five classes to complete to “graduate” from the program. I attended that first class with no clue what to expect. I remained full of curiosity and for the first day, mostly an observer. I couldn’t seem to grasp what was really taking place. I wasn’t sure what the expectations were and/or I wasn’t comfortable with them at certain points, but I continued attending. I was going to see this through…completely.

As that first class progressed, I knew I needed to attend the second class. I started seeing a little bit. If I can compare the experience to eyesight/vision (not sure it fits entirely, but it’s what I got right now!), in that first class, the eyes of my heart were completely shut.

I opened them wide in the second class and the Light stung so badly. I immediately closed my eyes, took a deep breath and willed myself to slowly open again…this time, I held my hand up to shade my eyes. Not too bad. I could see so much – the delightful, the painful, the ugly, the lies, the shame and finally…the Truth. Long sigh. Slowly, my eyes adjusted and began taking it all in and…processing.

Truth had been there all along. I just couldn’t see past all the yuck till that moment. What’s equally sad is that I hadn’t realized I couldn’t fully celebrate the good, fun moments because I hadn’t faced all the yuck.

I had buried my heart so deep without even realizing it. I had buried it for safe-keeping; whole-heartedly believing that it was unsafe to let my heart be seen at all. That realization was crushing. I was then challenged (via a list of activities) to stand in Truth and walk through the difficult moments.

I was encouraged to free my inner child. The little girl whom I had silenced by stuffing her mouth so full. Others had silenced her as well, but some of the reasons I told her were: I’m shutting you up because I need to keep you safe. I’m silencing you in hopes that you won’t repeatedly be hurt, mocked, blamed, molested, ignored, dismissed, accused, ridiculed, called names like fat, ugly, weird and “not holy enough”.

The core message I carried unknowingly, since childhood, was that I was not enough. I was (and would be) abandoned because I was “not enough”…the blame was on me, always…regardless.

Fill in the blank, I carried it – not good enough, not pious enough, not worthy enough, not kind enough, not brilliant/intelligent enough, not feminine enough, not pretty enough, not educated enough, not fashionable enough, not slender enough, not wealthy enough, not quiet enough, not light enough (I’m a joyful brown skinned girl!).

I was finally in a safe space in that training room, to face as much (or as little) as I wanted with honesty and love. For the first time that I can recall, there was no judgement at all. I heard The Divine whisper “reborn” and I felt it to my core…my vision was completely restoreD!

Considering my upbringing, the most surprising piece for me was that true deliverance, freedom, healing and restoration began for me in a NON-religious environment! In that very first class, I heard The Divine ask me: so, MUST the individuals in this room acknowledge Me or AM I who I AM regardless of acknowledgement?

All the tears came then…how much had I limited The Divine and the work of The Divine without even realizing it? I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine is everywhere, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only occupied the spaces that our religious elders deemed worthy!

I grew up being taught songs and verses that said The Divine speaks to all people, but we lived in a way that showed The Divine only spoke/guided/led those in our religious group!

I grew up learning songs and verses that prioritized the call of The Divine on individual hearts, but we lived in a way that the consensus of the leaders/wealthy/powerful in our religious group carried more weight!

We smiled, cheered and at times even screamed in victory in our religious gatherings as we “amen-ed” that The Divine alone created (and treats) us all as equals. We sang and quoted lyrics/verses echoing that sentiment, but cowered in anxiety and fear at the sight of humans who claimed to hold spots closer to The Divine…or those whom we’d simply elevated based on external merit.

What I know is that I began experiencing (then and now) life-altering healing and restoration because I stepped in fully to do the difficult/rewarding work. I continue to recognize patterns and find healthy ways to be a cycle breaker in my daily life.

I quit beating myself up emotionally, mentally and spiritually at the end of this training. I have never picked it up again. I was analytical beyond reason, but since engaging this training, I AM introspective, creative and reflective in healthy ways.

I am still a very flawed human, but from that day on, I began extending and experiencing grace radically. I began embracing Truth in my core and living fully from my heart.

I AM safe and joyful because Abba/Amma holds me…regardless. No matter the level of hell coming my way, I choose daily (somedays, moment by moment) to cling solely to Truth.

If you are ready to do the difficult and most rewarding heart work necessary to begin living fully from the heart, I recommend one of the three organizations listed below. I do not receive any commission or gifts/perks/benefits from these organizations. I’ve just seen and heard good things. Every org has its flaws since we’re all flawed humans, but I believe healing and transforming work is happening here:

https://www.pathwayscoretraining.org/ (the program I attended)

https://choicesseminars.com/ (a friend chose this program when I presented both Pathways and this org. AND this is the org that I hear started it all…the story I know is that a single mom wrote the initial “curriculum” and it grew and morphed into many other individuals and orgs birthing/benefitting from it…including Pathways).

https://lifeenrichmentbootcamp.com/pricing/ (a friend attended this one, long before I met her!)

The picture I chose for today’s post is full of meaning for me. Lotus is the meaning of the name Kamala (sounds like come-ala). It’s the name of my mother and the name I chose as my daughter’s middle name.

The roots of the lotus may be in the murkiest of waters, but it pushes its way upwards toward SunLight. As it grows, each petal opens one by one to receive in goodness, Light and Love. The lotus speaks determination, beauty, resilience and strength to me.

On this journey with many unexpected twists and turns, I wish you the resilience and beauty of the Lotus, fellow Warrior. I wish above ALL that your soul prospers. I wish courage for you to choose that which keeps you truly well. Regardless of what occurs around us, we can choose wellness, strength, health/life.

Do you want to be well?

Common Day Hero: Sara, you are fierce, funny, full of faith and which other f-word can I fit in here?! There has always been a connection and I’m glad it only continued to grow stronger through the years. I AM grateful to have a little bit of Norma still here. She is beaming at you from the other side and somehow, at the same time, still carrying you here on earth. I dedicate this post to you, my beautiful French vanilla cousin, Sara Jean.

October 22, 2020

Spirit!

My kids and I were so excited to go to the theater and see The Lion King when the remake came out last year! We thought it was powerful. Good message. Well-made. Not professional critics here; just our opinion!

Fast forward to…Covid and the-longest-spring-break-ever and at-home learning and more screen time and WAY too many changes at once in our world. Since ‘rona. the kids and I have been listening to a LOT more music!

Music has always moved me. Music comforts, heals, empowers, restores, validates and brings joy to me.

Recently, I added Beyonce’s song, Spirit, featured in The Lion King, to our playlist. And I was amazed that I did not hear (or remember?!) the powerful words in this song and specifically THIS, “be one with the great I AM”.

So…this sentence just floated on by me when we watched The Lion King last year and again when the song was played at various times. This song. THAT sentence.

This has been an interesting, challenging, fun and infuriating year…and I know that does not even get close to describing it all. sigh. I have been extremely sad, upset, in excruciating pain and overflowing with gratefulness at several points on the journey this year.

The pandemic…how it has affected our world at large…how it has affected those closest to us…those in our innermost circles…and us, as individuals…LONG sigh. Taking a deep breath (ok, three!) as I type all this.

Every.thing going on reminded me that a few years ago, I fully embraced the belief that there are NO accidents! Whether I can totally grasp (I can’t) or whether I like that statement “there are no accidents”, it is my personal belief that every.single.moment is filled with Divine purpose. I do not need to feel good about that. It is ok that I do not want to hear it some or all the time. I AM human and that is completely alright.

So, with me believing that there are no accidents, I AM finding solace in the words of this song. I AM finding a safe space, a sweet shelter in the Secret Place of the Almighty…here…NOW…in THIS moment…in THIS song.

I cannot begin to put into words how much I’m feeling right now. The beauty, solace and joy of hearing something in a moment when I desperately needed to be reassured…a moment when all hell seemed to be rejoicing over what looked like defeat for me…

Be one with the great I AM!

Things are not pretty or fun or wonderful right now. And this is when The Divine let me hear encouragement, sense healing and become empowered with words that remind me (again) that I AM who I AM says I AM. And I AM not alone. The great I AM is ever-present. I AM so grateful.

The words give me chills every time I hear the song (and that’s about twenty times a day now!). The song reminds me that my destiny is near and that I am standing and fighting for/with the Great I AM! Insert praise hands! Insert jazz hands! Insert a raised fist as in Power to all People! And literally jump up and down, run, shout, whateva you feelS now…I’m raising my fist!

I AM a Warrior and I am spiritually warring for Truth to be revealed this year -in my own life, in our circle, in the extended community and worldwide -WHATEVER IT TAKES, may Truth rise!

Fellow Warrior, neighbor, friend, we’re in this TOGETHER…always.

Here are the lyrics (credit/copyright info at the end of the song):

Uishi kwa muda mrefu mfalme
(Uishi kwa, uishi kwa)
Uishi kwa muda mrefu mfalme
(Uishi kwa, uishi kwa)

Yeah, yeah, and the wind is talkin’
Yeah, yeah, for the very first time
With a melody that pulls you towards it
Paintin’ pictures of paradise

Sayin’ rise up to the light in the sky, yeah
Watch the light lift your heart up
Burn your flame through the night

Whoa, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah

Yeah, yeah, and the water’s crashin’
Trying to keep your head up high
While you’re tremblin’, that’s when the magic happens
And the stars (stars) gather by (gather by)
By your side

Sayin’ rise up to the light in the sky, yeah
Let the light lift your heart up
Burn your flame through the night

Yeah, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah (yeah)

Your destiny is comin’ close
Stand up and fight
So go into that far off land
And be one with the great I Am, I Am
Boy becomes a man

Whoa, Spirit
Watch the heavens open (open), yeah
Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’?) Yeah
Spirit, yeah, watch the heavens open, open, yeah
Spirit, Spirit, can you hear it callin’? (Callin’)
Yeah (yeah)

Your destiny is comin’ close
Stand up and fight
So go into a far off land
And be one with the great I Am

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Beyonce Gisselle Knowles / Ilya Salmanzadeh / Timothy Lee Mckenzie

Common Day Hero: Africa SistAHS! Grateful The Divine connected us all on that trip to South Africa all those years ago. Each of you are dear to me. You have spoken life over me. You have brought much needed laughter and I AM honored to have you warring alongside me. Wakanda Forever!