It’s easy to see when those around us refuse to face the truth…especially if we believe it’s dangling directly in front of their faces. Something so big, it can’t be denied and yet…it is.
We see it all for others, but do we make excuses to hide behind the fears in front of us? Do we dismiss what is on our own hearts and minds? Statements or thoughts like oh, it’s ok. I’ll just stay quiet, so no one else feels awkward. I don’t want to cause a ruckus. I don’t want to draw attention when others haven’t said anything.
Have we compared and essentially minimized our story? Examples: my situation isn’t as bad as theirs. I’ve heard so much worse. I know this isn’t a big deal. I don’t even know why I’m talking about these issues when others go through a whole lot more.
How many times have we let others tell us (verbally or through their actions) what a “spiritual”, “proper” or “acceptable” response is? Have we let a spouse, friend, extended family member, social or religious group decide what our next steps must be?
Have we allowed other voices to dictate our feelings and/or the meaning of the actions done to us? Regardless of how “innocently” the harm occurred, it is still harm. Being stabbed is painful…no matter what the back story.
Sadly, so many people throw out verses and words like “extend grace”, “just trust” and “respond in love” to those who are the VICTIMS…those who have been wronged, violated, taken advantage of, mistreated, fill in the blank and sometimes repeatedly.
I fully believe the Divine always has room for the perpetrator and the victim, but I do NOT believe that the victim must be silenced. I do not believe that fear, manipulation or guilt are to be given a leadership position.
I’m reaching back to my Sunday School days for this: The One who promised never to leave or forsake you is true to that promise. Even when the support you thought you would always have changes and even if every one leaves, The Divine is with you.
IF you have been violated in ANY way – verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, you are not alone. I weep with you. You are worth speaking up for, standing up for, fighting for…always!
Wherever you find yourself today – perpetrator (looking in the window), victim (looking out of the window; wishing, hoping and screaming for a way out), you are seen and loved. The Divine is always with you…arms wide open to embrace you (or give you dap!) because Love heals.
Now let’s get the help we need. Let’s not ignore or dismiss anything; let’s invite Divine Love into our lives. Let’s truly care for and love one another in DEED. Practical points for us to “love one another in DEED” –
If the perpetrator is a friend or family member, may I encourage you not to let the relationship blind you to what is necessary? Help set up therapy, psychiatric evaluations or anything else that is helpful.
If you are the perpetrator, The Divine is waiting on you. Light, Love and Healing awaits. The Divine will walk with you through the most difficult of situations, Overcomer!
If you or someone you know is a victim, reach out to a licensed counselor and support group. Lean in to close friends who will prioritize safety. Stand in your power even if no one stands with you. The Divine will carry you through the storm, fellow Warrior!
Is there any area where we are in denial? If so, what is one truth we can sit with today? If we’re not ready to embrace it all yet, can we just sit with it a bit? Is someone close to us in denial? If yes, how can we keep ourselves safe and sane?
Common Day Hero: On the day I first met you, you stood up for me. I will always remember how much it filled my heart to have that day with you and Kochayan. I have always wished that you lived near me, but when I became a mother, I really mourned not having you close. I thought (and still think) of you often and especially when I desperately need grace. You are wise, welcoming, an amazing cook, witty and fun. Beautiful Sushi, I dedicate this post to you.
