Jael (Yah-el)

Yeshu has been preppiN me for a very long time. Still/always preppiN. And I’m still failing…always forward! Still standing on HOPE (heavenly oxygen permeating earth)!
Growing up, I didn’t want to be female because I saw how much freedom males had. Females couldn’t go out past evening. Females had to dress a certain way. Females couldn’t be “loud”. On and on the list went that seemed to be slanted against females.
Therapy, journaling, prayer/meditation, some difficult friendships, books/articles and workshops over the course of time opened the door for me to embrace my feminine side. It looks different for all of us. I AM now so full of joy to be a woman…to see that it doesn’t hinder me in any way. I AM free to be me!
In December, twenty-eighteen, I met a woman and her husband for the first time.
As soon as I met them, I saw a vision of a Bible story I’d heard like a hun’ed times, growing up.
I saw the Red Sea parted…I saw Moses (staff in his hand) and both hands raised. I said to the couple, raise your hands in victory now (not literally, but ya know!) because just like The Divine parted the Red Sea, you will see and experience something similar. The Divine will part the Red Sea on your behalf.
Sidebar: when I’m sharing a word, feeling, vision or dream with someone, I typically say I’m a flawed human so whatever I see or share, just take what resonates with you. Any vision/dream/words that I share are simply an offering placed on the table for the taking…or not! I’m completely aight with it because I whole-heartedly believe the beauty of love is choice!
And I also don’t always see or feel things exactly as they will happen. Sometimes, I don’t accurately express what I see or feel. So, I practice the same. When someone shares, I make note of the whole piece, but I immediately take what resonates and set the rest aside (for a later time).
In August, twenty nineteen, we saw each other again at a party. As soon as we hugged, she said, you are Jael (Yah-el)! A flash back to childhood days in Sunday School. I said, yeah, I know the story. I asked if she’d be alright exchanging phone numbers and staying connected. She said sure!
As soon as I shared the vision that day, she hugged me and we cried together. I’m an empath. I could feel the weight of her pain. She shared that she had recently experienced a deep loss. That was it. We went our separate ways. Anytime she came to mind, I’d say a prayer. Sometimes, I’d just close my eyes and send love her way.
That day, soon as I got home, I wrote up a little modern-day, lali-version of the story. I thought I have a message hopefully empowering if I’m ever asked to speak! Just had the honor of sharing it this week!
I AM Jael.
The Hebrew pronunciation of the name is Yaa-el/Yah-el.
In Hebrew, Jael means mountain goat. Mountain goats live in hostile environments; they are agile, sure-footed, methodical climbers. It is said they can scale twelve feet in one jump!
Here’s the story: Well, first, I say, read it fa yaself to verify erything! It’s in the fourth chapter of the Book of Judges in the Holy Bible. Again, this the lali version!
A woman, Deborah, was a judge, prophetess, wife and mother. She was wise and the neighbors knew it! So, they (the people of Israel) came to her to present their “cases” and she helped resolve them.
One day, she sent for Barak to come see her. He came ova and she asked him, didn’t The Divine tell you to rally up yo’ troops and meet at Mount Tabor? And didn’t The Divine also say that you would “get” Sisera, the captain of the opposing army?
Barak said, gurrl, if you go, I’ll go. If you ain’t goin’ then I fa sho’ ain’t goin’. Deborah said, oh Imma go witchu, but victory gonna come to our people through a WomaN (whoop!whoop!)
Barak said, yah, cool, whateva, Imma go witchu! I reallY like that Barak esteemed Deborah; he saw her as an equal. So, they went and the next day and Deborah tol’ him THIS is the DAY when the enemy will be given to you by The LordT! So, Barak and ’em met Sisera and ’em and The Bible say, Barak got all of Sisera’s army…like all of dem…except Sisera.
Sisera got so confused and afraid that he started runnin’ away. I keep thinkin’ with ALL those horses, you gonna take off runnin’? Aight. I don’t know. I wasn’t there; maybe the horses got spooked too!
So, Sisera ran up to Jael’s tent. Only reason he felt like he could go to that tent was prolly coz her huZband (Heber) was friendly with Jabin, the King.
Jael went out to greet Sisera. She said, don’t be skeered. Come inside; get out of the heat.
The enemy came in all smug. He asked for water, but we (Easterners don’t give water to a general). She offered him milk. He drank, he probably ate too and then he thought he would take a nap.
Jael used that opportunity to drive a tent peg through his skull and Victory came to Israel through the hands of a woman that day! Jael may have been shaking; she may have had to take some deep/full breaths; she may have screamed into a pillow.
What we know is that she stepped in and did what needed to be done in the moment. Destiny fulfilled!
During this month of celebrating International Women’s Day, are there any ways we can embrace womanhood more? Tap into the Divine feminine side of ourselves more? Stand in our Power more?
What has Heaven placed on your heart that has you afraid because it’s an “uncommon” path? What has you thinking “I’m just a woman” or “that can’t be for me”?
Truth statements help me remember how powerful I AM…whether I feel it or not, I declare it! May you receive strength from it as well. Pick up ya tent peg (Truth) and slay the enemy (lies in ya mind).
I AM a Woman! I AM a Warrior! I AM a Winner!
Courage to you dear heart; may this be the month you step into all that the Divine has for you!
Here for and with you!
Common Day Hero: I don’t know your whole story. I know you have overcome much. I see your beauty, strength and tenacity; it fuels mine. I AM glad you’re in my life. AuntYasmin, I dedicate this post to you.

Fazal

Fazal, Arabic for grace…such a beautiful word/name.

I’ve blogged about grace before, but just this week, I received the heart-breaking news that cancer has taken residence in someone dear to me…and grace held me as I began reeling; unwilling to accept the news.

I can’t even begin to express all the emotions that come up when the word cancer is mentioned…

First, shock/disbelief hit, then a deep, sharp and almost debilitating pain in my chest, anxiety surrounding all the “what-ifs”…the adverse effects or ineffectiveness of medications and proposed treatment plans, the probability of death being so much closer, concern for those in caretaker roles.

I immediately closed my eyes, took deep/full breaths, started focusing on my breathing and released each individual. I reminded myself that I cannot carry this weight. It is crushing…especially for an empath.

I inhale: observe more 

I exhale: absorb less.

Whatever you’re facing: cancer, career changes, child-related concerns, Covid, challenges in general…know that you’re not in it alone. Divine grace is waiting on all of us. Once embraced, we can extend it to all.

Fazal (grace) to you, friend…

On this journey, may we remember that grace is ever with us.

Grace carries us. Grace keeps us. 

You can rest, knowing that Grace has us.

Common Day Hero: I recently came across a note you wrote when someone very young passed away, unexpectedly. I was shaken beyond words. Your kind words brought comfort and hope. You have personally overcome so much more than most and in such a short time. Your acts of service do not go unnoticed. Opa, I dedicate this post to you.

plan

Personal belief: no human can plan as extravagantly…as detailed…as beautifully surprising as The Divine!

Countless times, I have seen The Divine pull things togethAH like no othAH.

Many of you already know that I was blindsided by divorce and it was finalized in April of this year (on tax day!). What you may not know is that the house sold and I had to be out by 14 June.

I’m a planner, but in this specific situation, I felt that I was to be still and trust. I knew that in Heaven’s perfect time, The Divine would lead me to a place prepared just for me and my kids.

Well-intentioned friends said I lacked good judgment; I continued to repeat what was on my heart “I will be Led to the perfect space prepared just for me and my kids”.

I know everyone around me was just nervous, concerned and worried for me (and really the kids), but what I also know without a shadow of a doubt is that I AM held, so it’s all good!

A specific area came to my heart during the first week of June and I immediately knew that I needed to start looking at places for rent in that area. No job, no promise of a job; just a sign from The Divine!

Although I have no job; I have proceeds from the sale of the house. Well, ain’t nobody tryna hear that!

Every.single.place I called wanted pay stubs or an offer letter showing an amount that’s up to three times more than the rent. No one wants cash and cash upfront? What has this world become?!

Anyhow, on Friday, 11 June, I saw a place and although I’d been rejected twenty-nine times already, I asked all the same questions and they approved me with no co-signer, no job and no offer letter!

They just wanted proof that I have money in the bank!

I was approved the next day and told that move-in would be 15 June.

I said, Yeshu, You already know that I have to be out of this house on the 14th, so I ain’t tryna pay storage…I called the complex again on the morning of the 14th and they said, you know what, come on through at five this evening and we’ll give you the keys!

Dj Khaled I Got The Keys GIF

IF you are being Led (being still and hearing the Voice of The Divine in your heart), may I ask that you continue to be still and move forward only as you are Led? May I encourage you to allow no earthly being to deter you in any way?

The Divine has you!

You can rest…trust…and see the plan come togethAH in a way that we can’t even begin to ask, dream or think!

Common Day Hero: I AM so grateful for friendships that have continued to deepen through the years. Friendships that have grown in authenticity; unafraid to face the difficult and awkward…embracing the freedom to simply be whether we agree or not because we understand that love has no prerequisites. Novi, I dedicate this post to you.

full

Welcome/Vanakkam! Namaste!

Many of us may simply be existing.

We serve and give so much. We stay busy doing for others. We run around and run ourselves ragged to take care of everything around us.

Seems, we don’t realize that all of the running and doing and pushing ourselves has us depleted and too preoccupied to see that we are running on empty.

Continually coming from a place of empty sets us up for burn-out, lashing out, raging and severely damaging those who have been/are closest to us.

I’ve been an empath for as long as I can remember (even though growing up, I didn’t know that term). The way I feel/sense energy and absorb it was frustrating until I sought out tools to completely embrace being an empath and began learning how to relate as well as release all that isn’t mine to carry.

It has been my life’s work to be a diligent listener, a safe space, a consistent asker of questions because it is of utmost importance that each voice is heard.

Questions help gently guide so that each person wrestles with all that needs to be faced, worked through/processed and then finds the answer within the process.

Friends say I’m a good counselor, especially with the listening and a natural coach, with all the questions!

And now…the path has led me to embrace being a personal, life (college, career, cravings, relationships, all of it!) and spiritual coach. I have been unofficially doing the work of coaching and mentoring for over twenty years.

I have decided to do what I love because I already love what I do! I would be honored to come alongside you on your journey and co-create plans with you so that your dreams become goals and your vision becomes reality!

I believe that we can live our most fulfilled lives, serving and giving when we are Led from a place of being FULL.

My personal acronym: Free, Unlimited, Light, Love (FULL)!

We will take the steps together so that you can begin moving towards FULL…living your life from a healthy base of love, joy, peace and gratitude. You can then (as you are Led), serve and give to those around you from the saucer because your cup is FULL and overflowing!

Picture yourself FULL!

I’m offering an introductory special of $75/session. Call or text to schedule your appointment today – 469.585.3723

Common Day Hero: BridgetteP and FeliciaG, there are moments that seem ordinary -nothing special occurs externally and yet, something quite substantial and much deeper than can be articulated has occurred/is occurring internally/spiritually/next level. That’s what took place when we met. Supernaturally orchestrated. Divinely dispatched. Here’s to ALL that Heaven has for us, now and for eternity! I dedicate this post to you, my Soul SistAHs!

random

The timing of The Divine is impeccable.

There are no accidents…no mistakes…

Random is code for Divinely purposed.

This week, letting the Truth of all the above settle in…deep breath!

Anything “random” happen for you this week, month, year?

If it was positive, I rejoice with you.

If it was negative, I feel the weight of it with you and weep with you.

Regarding the negatives, I cannot begin to understand all the reasons why. I just know that in this world…here, on this earth, we will have troubles. I send hugs (or dap); I send comfort, Light and Love your way if you can receive it.

I know some spaces are too difficult for words and I want to respect the space you may be in now.

When you are ready, Love and Light are here for you. Always.

Common Day Hero: When you heard, you immediately offered support. You’re always here to help, but especially when this recent crisis hit so unexpectedly and much harder than I ever could’ve imagined. I AM grateful to have you in my life. “They” say German shepherds are easy-going and approachable among family, so today’s photo is for you! My cousin, Kolin, I dedicate this post to you.

loyalty

On tax day, last week, I received the divorce decree.

I can’t even begin to describe the journey of accepting a situation I didn’t want.

Is a marriage of seventeen years really over now? I read the email and like an avalanche, every emotion seemed to come at once…disbelief. shock. overwhelming sadness. tears enough to overflow a bathtub. anger enough to pull all the feathers out of a down pillow. relief from the exhaustion of being in a tense environment for such a long time. inexplicable pain…every moment, precarious.

I heard someone say (many someoneS actually!) that people don’t discard what they want; they discard what they were using. Have you ever felt that – not just in romantic relationships…in friendships, with co-workers, with acquaintances, with family members (immediate, extended, in-laws)?

I am processing to the best of my ability. Quite the mountain/landfill. Pain and Peace coexist in this moment for me. Grief and Gratitude coexist. Fear and Faith coexist. Heaven and Hell coexist. I am experiencing it all…fully.

Pain – I can not believe the depth and intensity. It is heart-wrenching. Peace – I AM held by The Divine.

Grief – I said yes to forever…too many layers here. Gratitude – for painful Truth being revealed and manifested…for true/deep friendships.

Fear – what does this mean for me and my kids? Faith – We are alright, even in this. Secure in The Divine.

Hell – walking through it is overwhelming, frustrating, exhausting. Heaven – always by my side; the Warriors, my ancestors, that Great Cloud of Witnesses and true friends here beside me…with grace and love.

In this processing, came another realization: Loyalty shows up especially in the difficult.

If loyalty wasn’t present then we were used, in some way. That realization led me to sort through all that I personally need to own as well as everything that’s not on me.

We are only responsible for our own choices.

I continue to learn and grow and keep myself open to the opportunities that guide me to be my authentic/best self.

Dear one, I hold out grace for you to continue to be your authentic self as well. Regardless of the naysayers, Strength and Peace to you as you do the difficult work of consistently pursuing authenticity. Here, for and with you, always.

Common Day Hero: We have so much more in common than we originally thought! Praise Abba for bringing you into my life for all the moments (too many to name!). You remain a comforting Light in the midst of unexpected darkness. You are such a kind and beautiful soul. KerriH, I dedicate this post to you.

shakti

Many situations in life are both-and (as opposed to either-or)…in my life, especially this season, there have been moments (too many to count) when I felt powerless.

I believe that I AM powerful.

Shakti is a Sanskrit word meaning power, sacred force, energy, empowerment.

I heard someone recently say that she doesn’t need external empowerment when she has empowerment from within; that resonated with me. Again, both-and…there are moments when the external/additional is valuable, but…

Always, what fuels and carries me is shakti (power/empowerment from within; the very sacred force of heaven).

I AM powerful (inserting raised fist).

I may not agree with or even want what is happening to/around me. I may not like or understand the abrupt and unwelcome changes coming my way; Truth remains: I AM powerful.

I AM powerful not because I can stop negative/hurtful things, but because I do not allow them to define me.

I AM powerful because I process each and every difficult thing so that I can move forward.

I AM powerful because it is the very essence of who I am; a part of my core.

I AM powerful because fill in your personal reminder…to carry you in and through the messy moments.

Shakti (power, sacred force, energy, empowerment) to you my fellow Warrior ~ as we war alongside one other against all negatives intent on keeping us down. Here, for and with, you…always!

Common Day Hero: Harilals, yes, the whole family…I want to express my gratitude for the practical ways you’ve stepped in to help me. In my younger years, I felt so confident and independent. Without realizing it, over time, I allowed that to be taken away…sigh. Daily I’m gaining strength, choosing courage (more than not) and so thankful for all that you continue to be: my prayer warriors, my all-things-practical group, my emergency rescue team (perceived and otherwise!) and my common sense crew when unexpected trauma blindsided me. Today, I dedicate this post to all of you.

new

When we’re told that all things are made new, it may not always translate to unfolding how we envisioned it.

Today, I’m thinking specifically of Verses nineteen through twenty-one, in the forty-third Chapter of the Book of Isaiah, in The Bible. Translations vary and I reference so many, but in this moment, it’s the ESV.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive (see) it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” 

The imagery is so beautiful to me…it’s calming. The reassuring piece for me is that I will not be stuck in the wilderness. Also, for whatever length of time I’m in the wilderness, I will be given what I need…sustenance.

If/when I’m in the desert, a place that typically has very little water, I will see rivers! Nourishment and strength will be provided for my time there.

All the animals around me bring praise and adoration to The Creator of life and all things sacred. I join them in worship and celebration of The Divine.

In the desert…in the wilderness…in unfamiliar, deeply painful and rough terrain, I AM fully taken care of…completely provided for…always. And so are you, fellow Warrior!

Common Day Hero: Many may never know the level of sacrifice and honor you provide on a daily basis. You are seen, by many including El-Roi. I salute you, fellow Warrior. Madalyn, I dedicate this post to you.

daughter

I have posted every Friday since FEB twenty-twenty. It’s early Saturday AM now and finally posting because the internet has decided to cooperate…everything unfolds in the perfect timing of the Divine so here ’tis!

Embrace the Leader within…

first, foremost and forever, I AM a child of God. More specifically, a daughter of Yeshu!

Regardless of all the names and/or titles humans take from me, daughter can never be taken away!

Hugs to you fellow child of God (insert praying hands/namaste)…for me personally, namaste is I greet you as my equal. I salute The Divine within you…image bearer!

Common Day Hero: Reassuring, comforting, safe…a few words that describe time with you and yours. Grateful for the way Our Great Spirit gently guides, kindly reveals and miraculously heals. Britton, I dedicate this post to you.

Wisdom

The Aramaic and the Septuagint version of Verse Five of Chapter Twenty-Four of the Book of Proverbs in The Bible reads “It’s better to be wise than to be physically strong.” 

Wisdom is said to be the quality of having as well as applying experience, knowledge, and good judgment. Proverbs says Wisdom is worth more than silver, more precious than rubies and brings more profit than gold!

I’ve been curious and filled with wonder from as early as I can remember…and always on a path seeking Wisdom. 

At specific times in my life, I have asked for Divine Wisdom; I’m aware that I need it every day. Some moments have just weighed heavier and left me feeling like I needed it more. This week was one of those.

Death, sickness, isolation and pain have touched so many of us, and not just because Covid-19 is in our midst. I’ve sat with, spoken with and texted many who were in deep pain. Others have sat with and spoken with me during my heart-breaking moments as well.

I felt helpless. I felt overwhelmed. I felt unsafe. With trembling and a little nervousness, I made difficult decisions, that seemed rushed. sigh. I made the decisions; nonetheless and walked away feeling…a mixed bag of emotions. Then, when it was time to call it a night, I felt the Presence of Wisdom.

Wisdom came in saying, you’ve done all you knew to do. In the difficult moments, you did your best and always, you followed the impressions of the Divine on your heart…and that is all. That is everything.

Physical strength wanes and is limited. Wisdom flows freely to all who will receive. In a world that prizes the external, may we seek Wisdom.

Have we sought the Voice of Wisdom (through being still, through the wise ones around us, through the wise who have gone on before, through Scripture)? Will we choose Wisdom over physical strength? 

Common Day Hero: When I think of Wisdom, I envision a strong, kind woman…like you! Your prayers are the reason for an abundance of comfort, protection and favor in many lives, mine included. CindyH, I dedicate this post to you.

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