Category: Uncategorized

December 10, 2021

felt

This week, while standing amidst a crowd, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion for a woman whom I saw about two rows in front of me. I did not know her; what I knew was that I needed to speak with her.

I had no words; this is typically how it happens with me. I knew the words would come when it was time to speak (not my words and not from me). I knew the words that The Divine had for her would flow through me.

I have no control over what comes; it’s not premeditated. I can’t “plan” the talk; yes, my analytical side has attempted. Want to know what happens every.single.time? None of what I plan comes out…truly; whatever I’ve “prepared” just vanishes!

So, I’ve learned to let the words come spilling out when it’s time and I’m reminded of Verse thirty-eight of Chapter Seven from the Book of St. John in The Holy Bible that states, “…out of your belly will flow rivers of living water”.

And almost always when I share, it’s what the person needs in that moment. I never want to offend/hurt or insult anyone, so before I share, I typically give a disclaimer similar to this: I’m a flawed human, so please take only what resonates with you.

Back to this week, amidst the crowd…I walked up to the stranger, introduced myself and asked if it would be alright to share; she said yes! I shared what was on my heart. We both cried and hugged. It was a powerful moment.

I see moments like these as: Hugs from Heaven or Dap from The Divine…a reminder that EVERY human is seen.

YOU are seen!

YOU are heard!

Heaven knows!

Rest assured dear heart, you are not alone on this journey.

Hugs, strength and Peace to you from a fellow Warrior.

Common Day Hero: I AM grateful beyond words to have met you all those years ago, brave soul. You are such a delight, a force of good, a tenacious and adventurous spirit. Kayla, I dedicate this post to you.

December 3, 2021

UNpleasant

For some of us, the holidays are not a pleasant season/experience. It’s a reminder of grief/s unresolved…and maybe some griefs, unexpected.

The holidays have me (and some others I know) remembering those who are no longer here. Some have transitioned from this earth and some are here, just no longer in our circle. Both seem deeply painful and at times, irreconcilable.

I don’t know of a formula for working through grief. sigh. From those who have shared their stories with me and my own experience, it seems a very personal and unique journey for each human. 

It’s easy to externally appear “well” because of pressure from family, work, friends, religious circles, our own inner critic. For some of us, it’s hiding in plain sight – with a bottle of pills or alcohol, with sugar, with anything that will have us feeling good momentarily.

This holiday season, I’m asking that we genuinely prioritize ourselves…that we take the time needed to grieve; to let ourselves feel and fully process.

This holiday season, as friends and family gather, if we need a moment, may we take the moment and walk away. If we need to decline some holiday party invites, may we do so. My heart is not that we isolate; my sincere hope is that we find a way to our healthiest rhythm.

If we need therapy, a support group, a book club, a dance class, yoga, pilates, an exercise buddy or group, a new hobby, a punching bag, a lifestyle change, more sleep, more water, an accountability partner… whatever it may be, may we move forward in it…now.

Happy Holidays ~ I understand it may not be “happy” but amidst it all, I wish us moments of sheer delight, laughter and happiness. I also wish us strength for this journey.

Proud of us for continuing to move forward.

I AM on the journey with (and for) you always, brave heart. 

Common Day Hero: You are such a loving and open heart to all around you. I see the strength of a thousand warriors within you. Shukriya for your kindness and hosting me even when you didn’t really know me. And always, thank you for the world’s best roti! Z-Ma, I dedicate this post to you.

November 25, 2021

ER

Fear of the unknown – that’s what came up recently.

One of my children suffered an injury and because it was at night, all the walk-in clinics were no longer open. We made the trip downtown to a hospital and checked into ER.

When the unknown looms largely, all the voices seem louder than usual. The list of “what-ifs” and “whys” are endless. I took deep breaths. I prayed. I cried. I asked for prayers. I sang. I held my children…more deep breaths.

I reminded my children that The Divine has us…regardless. This is an unpleasant surprise for us, but not a shock for The Divine. There is a plan here; The Divine plan…ever-unfolding.

I AM held.

We are held…by Heaven…always.

Our time of waiting included checking-in, followed by multiple medical personnel coming and asking us the s-a-m-e questions, pain meds administered, a trip to the vending machine for some soda, X-rays and finally the Doctor’s report. After not too terribly long a time of waiting (but what seemed like an eternity in the moment) we had answers!

Nothing broken – PRAISES and so much relief!

Certainly not the way we wanted to begin Thanksgiving break. We let ourselves sit with the sadness around that. We talked through all of it. We took deep breaths together and released it from our bodies.

Then, individually and collectively, we offered gratitude and praise for each other and all that was on our hearts.

I AM so grateful for each person in my life ~ relationships are my greatest asset!

What/whom are you grateful for this month/week/day of Thanksgiving?

Common Day Hero: When my world came crumbling down around me, so unexpectedly last year, you were kind and so readily available. I have seen your beautiful heart shine through more than ever in this season. Grateful for you. Today, I dedicate this post to you, RubyB.

November 19, 2021

earrings

Just bought my first pair of hoop earrings…and they’re gold!

Growing up, I was not allowed to wear any jewelry (gasp! a Curry/Indian/Asian-American girl with no jewelry?)…sigh; great tragedy of tragedies…’tis true!

I’m announcing it because it was/is such a joy for me to own gold hoops!

I AM free to become excited about the seemingly insignificant things/moments!

I AM a single mom of two brave humans and three adorable cats!

I AM forty-five (true; forties are the new twenties!) and…

I AM now (for the first time ever!) the owner of hoop earrings…gold hoop earrings…that.is.all!

What’s something seemingly small/insignificant/irrelevant to others, but BIG to you?

Common Day Hero: You are a force of positive energy, laughter and great delight. You were so authentic from the day we first met. As you stand in your Power, I see your mom shining on through you. I’m here for (and with) you always. NaLa, I dedicate this post to you.

November 12, 2021

driven

I’ve blogged about this before, but it keeps coming up so I’m “talkiN” about it again!

Driven…relentless.  X…Y and Z must happen at any cost. For me, the word ‘driven’ brings up an image of not taking care of one’s self because what’s priority is m-a-k-i-n-g things happen.

I choose to be Led.

Led, for me personally, is moving forward from a place of worship…rest…Peace.

As I AM led, I move into spaces that I know in my core are best.

Any work completed from here is always most fruitful/productive and truly beneficial for me and those around me.

I don’t hustle or grind. I move forward according to the impressions of Heaven on my heart…as I AM led.

I remind myself to stay here, in this calm space…in my heart because so many external factors…voices/noise say otherwise, but I know I’m the healthiest and favorite version of myself when I AM Led.

My fellow humans, friends, Warriors ~ in a world (religious world included) that is loud…a world that is screaming for something, at every turn, despite the fact that you’re already exhausted beyond expression, running on fumes and many times on the floor, bleeding out…may I encourage you to pause? To…

Be still.

Hear the Whisper.

Choose to be Led.

Together, may we be Led so that we can then lead and bring others along, from this healthy space.

Being Led has brought so much Freedom, Peace and Joy to me.

As you consider all this, what is one item that need not take up space on your plate any longer – in your personal, professional or spiritual circle, emotionally, mentally?

Common Day Hero: LuMaN, I felt your presence this past weekend and saw you even though you were physically nowhere near me…tears came rolling down my face at the thought of you. I really wanted to hug you; felt so strongly that you just needed to be held. I sent/send you love. Hope you are comforted and reassured every time Love and Light is sent your way. You are so dear to me. Today, I dedicate this post to you.

November 5, 2021

buried

I’ve been thinking about a verse from childhood…Verse twenty-four of Chapter twelve from the Book of St. John in The Holy Bible says, unless a seed/kernel of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain ~

I was completely caught off guard.

I thought we were friends (at the very least)…I believed mutual respect and care were a part of that recipe.

I was stabbed…repeatedly…I’m talkiN verbally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually…

I was then buried alive.

I couldn’t breathe.

In the dark, I kept silent, at first because I was in shock. Then, I began screaming for someone…anyone and slowly the darkness became darker (didn’t think that was possible).

Others joined you, to add more dirt (some of the others who joined in added more shock and pain). I felt so betrayed.

I felt SO much pain…in every way…so.many.tears…my voice so hoarse from screaming…my body exhausted and aching as if I’d physically been beaten…

Time passed…seemed an eternity of darkness, then, suddenly, I broke open and that’s when realization came –

I AM a seed…

I needed to be buried…needed to be placed so far underground that I’d break open. Only then would I be able to fully receive the nourishment only Mother Earth could provide…and one day NEW life would spring forth!

Slowly, but surely, I RISE…what was intended to end me only REBIRTHED me…I AM HERE to stay!

I emerge now…new, healed, transformed and restored because I will bloom wherever I AM planted!

Same to you, dear heart! Push past the dirt…I AM in this with and for you…always!

Common Day Hero: I feel your presence here, with me. Some days, I have no words…just tears. I see you on streets of gold. I see you smiling and laughing…so full of joy. I know that you see, you know, you understand in a way that I don’t…yet. My heart is overflowing with love for you. Today, I dedicate this post to you, Zara Anjali Jane.

October 29, 2021

it’s alright

Have you ever found yourself in a familiar, yet somehow unfamiliar place? I can’t quite find the words to accurately  describe the feeling.

Fear had crept up and I wasn’t even aware that it was lingering…in the background, affecting my decision-making because yet again, it had cloaked itself as “what’s appropriate for a woman” and “your culture”…sigh.

The kindness of a friend brought realization to me -suddenly, in the middle of the conversation, it was crystal clear that I’d been hiding behind fear in just one area.

It’s alright…no need to panic upon noticing that fear is present. I took a deep breath and began walking myself through the Truth.

Truth: I hadn’t noticed or acknowledged the fear that had hidden itself in the name of “sound/good”. I AM moving forward in so many areas of my life…living fully from the heart and experiencing what it means to be set FREE indeed! Now that the fear is exposed, I can face it.

Friend, is there any area (even the smallest nook) where fear has taken residence? Hold it up to the Light…let the Truth wash over it and allow yourself the freedom to name the fear.

It is alright that fear is present. However, we need not let it rule us, so when it comes, simply hold it up to the Light.

Be still.

Whisper Truth.

Sometimes we just don’t have the energy or strength for affirmations. In those moments, maybe “what if” questions will help us turn towards the Light.

Ask yourself what if, the Truth is that I need not hide behind this anymore? What if I AM strong enough? What if I already have everything I need…here, within me? What if I AM loved so fiercely by Heaven? What if I AM never alone?

What if I WILL live (fully…thrive) and continue to see the goodness of The Divine in the land of the living? Verse thirteen from Chapter twenty-seven in the Book of Psalm, in the Holy Bible is the origin of that one. The verse says, I would have lost heart (!) unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

That verse has carried and continues to carry me…it has been a part of the strong, muscular arms that enveloped me, firmly held me and reassured me in a most comforting way since July 2020…there are days, I raise a fist in the air and declare it with all my strength. Other days, I Whisper it as a cry to the Heavens, but every time, I feel its Power!

Sharing the Power and Strength of it all with you ~ fear may visit, but it will not take residence here (raising a fist alongside you…declaring an affirmation with you and answering the empowering questions for you -when you need!).

Common Day Hero: I felt your tiny hand on me in the middle of a prayer and immediately said, Yeshu, I receive. A few minutes later, you came back and placed your hand on me again and I said, I receive a double portion! SO grateful that The Divine is Limitless…your innocence and the Shakti of your grandmother bring the gift of HOPE (Heavenly Oxygen Permeating Earth) and legacy. With arms raised and my face to the Heavens, I remember the moment now and offer gratitude and praise, again. Jade Wynter, you are a giant in the Kingdom. Today, I dedicate this post to you.

October 22, 2021

toxic

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment? Did it seem like being in a dark room for a long time and then suddenly the curtains were opened or a wall was knocked out, unexpectedly?

I know it’s different for each of us…when light comes in and we start seeing what we didn’t even know was present, but hidden or masked/disguised.

In the beginning, when toxicity is new whether it’s gaslighting, manipulation, verbal, mental, emotional, physical control and/or so much more, it may seem exciting…especially when dysfunction is all we’ve experienced or seen.

We may feel a rush of excitement; however slight or momentary…we may accept that this rush is fundamental to relationships. We may squash ourselves (turtle behavior) or over-exert ourselves (tiger behavior) to be seen/heard.

We may also vacillate between the two behaviors depending on the environment.

A friend and I were talking recently about relationships and she said, at this point, she would rather live fully in the space in-between silence and screaming. I could relate.

When I didn’t hold value and love for myself, I found myself longing and desperately looking for approval, affirmation and affection in relationships that were never truly for me.

Once I embraced myself fully in Love and Light from The Divine, I no longer needed human approval, affirmation or  affection because I began walking in the Truth that Heaven has me. I AM free!

Everything YOU need is already within you because Truth empowers, heals, brings freedom and liberty.

Toxic no longer equals excitement once we commit to heal.

Give yourself the space you need. Step back and see more clearly the spaces you occupy by choice ~ are they Truth-filled spaces of Love and Light? If not, are you ready to step out and away from all the toxicity (regardless of how long an individual or org has been in your life?).

Courage to you dear Warrior, may you choose your own health (emotional, mental, spiritual, physical) over length of relationships/ties.

Freedom, Fortitude and Foresight to you on the journey.

Common Day Hero: You are so intelligent, eloquent and kind. Many have been (and are) changed for the better because of your commitment to excellence in service; I’m among those. Today, I dedicate this post to you, DanaB.

October 15, 2021

trauma

“We can only heal what we feel” is something I began saying (and accepting) a few years ago now. I believe Thelma Box and Dr. Phil say something similar. May not be the exact quote, but what comes to mind is “You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.”

Sometimes we don’t even realize we are carrying weight…

Sometimes our trauma is buried so deep…and we don’t want to look into exactly how deep…

Sometimes we’re so exhausted because we started the process and it is just TOO much…

Sometimes we isolate thinking that no one can relate…

Sometimes we don’t know that trauma is what it’s called!

Always –

It is well.

We are alright to not be alright.

We can take as much time as we need…Healing isn’t formulaic. 

We can process in the ways that best resonate with our hearts.

We can lean into the sadness, the pain, the anger, the weight…all of it…

We can lean back onto the support systems (personal/professional) around us.

Trauma care/help is crucial…The Divine walks alongside us through it.

How can we take just one step in the direction of facing/healing trauma today?

Common Day Hero: You are seen by The Divine, even on the days when it seems you’re all alone and invisible.  Heaven is proud of you -all day, eryday…in all the moments. Warrior Deacon, I dedicate this post to you.

October 8, 2021

convenience

This week when I was paying for something with a credit card, a convenience fee popped up (my first thought was…the cashier didn’t tell me there would be a fee). I’d prefer knowing that up front.

Later that day, I wanted to get fuel for my ride (I had enough, but don’t like hitting one-fourth…just to be safe!). I stopped at a gas station and filled up.

Not even seven minutes later, while at a stop light, I saw another gas station with fuel prices ten cents less than what I had just paid! This one wasn’t next to the highway though like the one where I’d filled up – ah, convenience fee!

I started thinking, how many decisions per day are we making based on convenience? Do we make most (or all) of our decisions solely from a place of convenience? If so, how has that played out, long term?

Does it matter if the decisions are “major” or not when thinking through convenience/s?

Does it help to first make a pros/cons list, meditate, pray, speak to a few wise ones we know, seek professional guidance? What is convenience costing us (financially, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically)?

Common Day Hero: You were kind and loving during a time when I felt so unseen. I can’t begin to express my gratitude. Want you to know that your love touched/touches many. Earnestine, I dedicate this post to you.

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