Quince

How can it be that a child of mine is now fifteen?!

Guess this is the feeling every birthday ~ what? another year flew by already?

We had such a grand and delightful time with our village celebrating this occasion!

Adorable one of mine was stunning in her Quinceneara top and skirt, her perfectly suited tiara (gift from one of her grandmothers), her first ever rosary (made by a grandmother so dear to us), decked in jewelry gifted by family and friends and her first ever stilettos ~ a gorgeous rose gold (another gift from family).

She was anointed with oil, had blessings, prayers and Scriptures spoken over her…a delicious cake and cupcakes, a sweet and fun first dance, her favorite kind of food, a hall so nicely decorated by family and friends and a dance floor filled with people she loves and who love her so dearly!

This night was a joy beyond description for me and my village. My heart was/is so full to have this special event for her. It is truly Heaven’s favor!

I AM most grateful for the kind people who helped bring this dream to life and made the night such a lovely and fun one for all, but especially for my brave, beautiful and brilliant daughter!

She rated it a 10/10 and that is all that matters!

Which special events do you remember with fondness?

What happy times can you go back to in your mind to remind yourself how good life can be?

What can you do to celebrate yourself today?

Common Day Hero: It’s only been a short time but I count you dear to me. One of the reasons you ranked high so quickly is because you were born on such a special/significant day! Your connection to The Divine, your fierce protection of your children and your commitment to your husband are just a few ways that your life is exemplary. Shevona, I dedicate this post to you.

family

One of these things (ok a few!) are not like the others!

My family peach (some of youS know I callS dem Sauerkraut and French Vanilla coz dey German and Cajun descent!); me and my kids brownies (mixed w/all kinds of goodness!); all of us delicious and sweet…just different!

We chose/choose to love each other and we decided we’d be family by choice.

We’s family fahevAH coz the external never determined our internal -this love runs deep coz the blood of humans got NothiN on the water of Amma (Wise Spirit), Yeshu (Kind Jesus) and Abba (Most Loving Heavenly Father)…

Family is comprised of the people we choose to have in our lives (not limited to the people in our lives since or because of birth).

Through the years, I’ve had the joy of being a part of many “families”. Long before being inclusive was cool, I saw inclusion modeled and it helped me genuinely love all people.

Who are the people who dance with you through the delightful, walk with you through all the muck and despite our humanity, love and extend grace on the journey? That’s family!

Family isn’t hiding. Family isn’t covering up or pretending reality isn’t real. Family stands, sits, crawls with us through it all. Family isn’t just here for the fun times.

Family is fahevAH. Family is fah real.

Family is committed to caring, listening, helping and growing together…in every way. When we had no family, Heaven came down and offered all of us the gift of Love, Peace and Belonging.

My heart empathizes with those who have no “blood family” present – sending love, light and strength your way so that you’re able to create a family of your own ~ a mix of your closest people.

Common Day Hero: You continue to come to mind multiple times this month. You had me laughing coz you’d say you couldn’t have time w/God until you put your makeup on…ya still doing that in the afterlife? You are so missed and thought of often here. Grandma Kamp, I dedicate this post to you.

valentine

It is said that over $24 billion was spent in the United States on Valentine’s Day, this week!

In searching for the origin of this “day of love”, there are many stories concerning St. Valentine. The one that I heard the most (through the years) was that St. Valentine was martyred for his faith, but I’m not sure how that morphed into spending money on romantic relationships!

The original intent re: celebrating love may have been good, but seems it’s turned into another commercialized frenzy and simply got people worldwide spending more money. sigh.

The beauty of true love is choice!

Regardless, of what ya choose each year for Valentine’s, here’s my wish for you – whether you have a Valentine or not, may you know in your very core that you are so deeply loved and held by The Divine…always.

I’m reminded of a Scripture – Verse three of Chapter thirty-one in the Book of Jeremiah in the Holy Bible. It says, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

If you’re married, in a romantic relationship or situationShip or not be assured, you are loved with an everlasting, eternal, nevAH-evAH-ending, forever and always kind of love by Heaven. Maybe not by a human, but you are always loved by Heaven.

You Are So Deeply Loved by The Divine…AlwayS!

Common Day Hero: Grateful beyond words to call you my childhood friend. You so readily welcomed me back into your life and I am so glad we reconnected so deeply at a heart-level.  You’re a living Testament of the Kindness and Love of Yeshu, dear heart! I see it! ReneeG, today, I dedicate this post to you.

vaccine

DaCovid and DeVyress hit our family and I realized (again) how much I’m grateful for and how much I don’t even think about on a daily basis. Like what, ya say?

Just getting out of bed! Going to the mail box! Going to the store. Enjoying nature. Spending time with loved ones.

Speaking of da Vid…I wish we could be kind to one another in this. As an empath, I’m feeling it all and it is so…heavy.

Vaccine or no vaccine – let love lead us all.

A childhood verse came to mind; Verse Fourteen of Chapter Three in the Book of Colossians (The Bible) states: “And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony”.

Such a fitting verse…for many occasions, but it kept coming up for me, now.

May we choose to clothe ourselves with love, even when we don’t understand or agree…for that, my fellow human and friend, is a true sign of love.

What is one way you can show love this week…especially to those whom you disagree with and/or don’t understand?

Common Day Hero: You’re a natural leader; gifted with many talents and skills. People gravitate towards you because you have a genuine/rare quality of placing all who are around you, at ease. May you extend to your own heart the grace you so easily extend to others. You are loved so deeply. Today, I dedicate this post to you, dear Niel.

random

The timing of The Divine is impeccable.

There are no accidents…no mistakes…

Random is code for Divinely purposed.

This week, letting the Truth of all the above settle in…deep breath!

Anything “random” happen for you this week, month, year?

If it was positive, I rejoice with you.

If it was negative, I feel the weight of it with you and weep with you.

Regarding the negatives, I cannot begin to understand all the reasons why. I just know that in this world…here, on this earth, we will have troubles. I send hugs (or dap); I send comfort, Light and Love your way if you can receive it.

I know some spaces are too difficult for words and I want to respect the space you may be in now.

When you are ready, Love and Light are here for you. Always.

Common Day Hero: When you heard, you immediately offered support. You’re always here to help, but especially when this recent crisis hit so unexpectedly and much harder than I ever could’ve imagined. I AM grateful to have you in my life. “They” say German shepherds are easy-going and approachable among family, so today’s photo is for you! My cousin, Kolin, I dedicate this post to you.

pursue

With all that is before us…a seemingly endless list of possibilities, what continued to come to me this week was, pursue kindness.

That my friends, is difficult beyond expression when kindness is not what’s being thrown my way. And as my kids will tell you, a lalism they’ve grown up hearing is “difficult, but not impossible”. sigh.

This first quarter of twenty-twenty1 found me taking so many more deep breaths. Deep being the operative word! With all the arrows and darts of unkindness coming my way, I had to repeatedly (multiple times a day) remind myself to be gentle and kind to myself.

Only when we pursue kindness for our own hearts can we genuinely and fully extend kindness to others.

It seems regardless of culture, heritage or background, we’re told to be kind to others. While that’s good, I feel there is no solid base if we aren’t first kind to our own selves.

It’s back to The Bible…love your neighbor as yourself. If we don’t love ourselves, we won’t be kind to ourselves and we’re not really a help to our neighbors (across the street and around the globe).

For years, I was seeking kindness from others, but not giving kindness to my own heart. I was raised with no margin for error, no room at all for mistakes…perfection was required.

I failed miserably in that environment and sadly, was so unkind in my words…to self and others. Buried underneath all the “right words” and rules was a kind heart just waiting to be set free…to simply breathe.

A few years ago, I chose something different. I chose kindness for myself and it began/continues to grow like a field of beautiful flowers available to all around me.

I learned to listen more, to ask more questions (rather than make statements) and I began redirecting myself. As soon as unkind words, blame and shame enter my mind, I take time to evaluate it all.

I hold up all dark words to the Light and give myself time (sit with it) to see if there’s any Truth there. I no longer feel anxiety to rush and “fix” things. I AM at peace.

After I’ve taken time to evaluate it all, I say you can leave now or I say, that’s a lie; I only cling to Truth. I also say, that’s not me. I have literally done a little jig to “shake off” the negativity from me and my space!

It is alright to acknowledge when I have chosen to be helpful or hurtful to myself and others. It is alright for me to evaluate and change course as necessary so that I’m living fully from a place of kindness and love.

I need not spin in guilt, anxiety, shame, what-ifs, fear or allow ridicule and condescending voices to “take over” my mind. I can let all the feelings out and not accept the negative roots that are trying to settle into my space.

This is what has worked/is working for me – evaluate. sit with/face it all (take all the time your heart needs). release. speak/write/sing/dance Truth…repeat!

Are you kind to yourself, dear one? What helps you choose kindness? Even in the difficult moments when the accusing, shaming, hurtful, fill in the blank voices seem so loud, what helps you cling to Truth?

Close your eyes with me. Embrace kindness for your heart.

Once embraced, kindness flows like cool, refreshing waters to your heart as often as you wish and you now have the ability to extend it generously to all.

Common Day Hero: Your prayers continue to encourage and strengthen me. As soon as you heard about my pain, you were here. I can’t begin to express all the ways that filled my heart. JessicaS, I dedicate this post to you.

amazing

Life has brought the awful, amazing and appalling this season. Sometimes, all-together, in one day.

As I cry (read sob uncontrollably while alone in my car or closet), and process all this pain with more layers than I can even begin to describe, as I’m in the midst of all the awful, I also experience amazing grace.

I was raised with “hold it together”, “keep it together”, “don’t lose your shit” but the real meaning of those statements is that I was to keep up appearances. It was alright if I came unglued alone, in private but I best not let it be seen…ever.

I never wanted to raise my kids with that. I wanted them to be completely free to express themselves.

I signed them up for play therapy when they were younger. I created and bought journals so they could draw, doodle, write thoughts and prayers. I took them on walks and to the park to enjoy time in nature.

I created a gratitude jar, so that we could see and say the good – even in the middle of deep pain. I believe grief and gratitude coexist. I pray with them (if they want). I sing and dance with them (as best I can!)…still, I was unknowingly placing the very same burden that I grew up with, on my kids.

This realization led me to be very intentional in changing course. I genuinely did not want to raise my kids with that same stress. I sought out help through books, therapy and emotional training classes. I began redirecting myself; I started being and creating a safe space for my kids to simply be.

About four years ago, after intentionally working on myself, in every area, I received the greatest compliment. My children told me that they saw change…improvement in me!

The two changes were: I am silly with them more. I ask more questions (answers beget more questions rather than assumptions). What changed was that I embraced myself fully, the way God does ~ in love. And that made all the difference! Love lifted me!

When I chose to embrace the Love of The Divine, I began loving myself. That Love set me free and opened the door for my children to have the choice to be completely safe, secure…free…with me.

The beauty of love is choice. I know, I say it often…I believe it’s worth saying often because when we really know (accept/believe) the Truth, it sets us free!

What has us holding back (in the seemingly smallest or most insignificant way) from receiving Divine Love? What is one step we can take in embracing the Love of The Divine today?

And here’s your LAST chance to make a purchase during African American/Black History month, my friend at Out of Hiding is offering the LOVE(period) collection BOGO (buy one, get one FREE!). Get a shirt, hoodie or tote for you and someone you love…quick! When you purchase, you’re supporting a local business, owned by an African American/Black/Chocolate sisTAH of mine! Let Out of Hiding know that LALIjean sent ya!

Common Day Hero: You’re quick to speak Truth that is challenging and comforting. I’m so grateful that The Divine crossed our paths and orchestrated this friendship. I dedicate this post to you, risotto…Molé!

deserve

Do we operate from a place of “deserve” or love?

Wonder Woman (in the movie that released in 2017) says, “It’s not about deserve and I believe in love”. I took the kids to see the movie when it first released, but we just recently watched it again and this time around, this sentence catapulted itself into my heart.

“It’s not about deserve and I believe in love.”

When the seemingly mundane tasks are to be done like washing the dishes, folding the fourth load of laundry, wiping down the counters, cleaning the toilet that never looks clean even when it’s just been cleaned for the twentieth time, am I doing it because one “deserves” it or simply from a heart of love?

When someone asks for a favor, am I doing it because I’ve deemed them worthy and/or because they’ve done things to deserve it or simply because I believe in operating from a place of love?

I’m introspective and reflective (my dad and sister are to be credited for that) so I regularly process why I do what I do and whether my heart is evident. I’ve lived this way for some time now. Every thing I do is fully from my heart. No obligation. No “shoulds”…just a heart of love.

This is most difficult to practice when someone has decided not to keep their love on anymore. When an individual who has been such an intricate part of our lives decides to move in a different direction, it is imperative to ask ourselves how we can still move from a place of love.

This keeps our hearts fully free and open to give and receive love.

And a heart-check is always in order. Am I operating from a base of love or obligation? What is currently weighing my heart down? What steps can I take to ensure that I’m operating fully from my heart?

Common Day Hero: Many have violated your trust and ignored or dismissed your heart, but you continue to shine brightly. Through the years, your heart has remained open to love. You have brought (and will continue to bring) love and understanding cross cultures, religion and generations. Mahi, I dedicate this post to you.

choose

My personal belief is that The All-Powerful One chose (and chooses) mutual relationship rather than control and a robot-like interaction with us. We, as individuals, are given choice by The Divine. This reminds me, yet again that the beauty of love is choice!

I have heard (and seen) this statement countless times since childhood: Choose you this day whom you will serve. Although, I don’t recall having seen the phrase prior to that statement. Verse fifteen of Chapter twenty-four in the Book of Joshua (The Bible) says, “And if it seem evil to you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve…” another translation says if it is unacceptable to you…

My life is worship, an act of service to The Sovereign One. And if I decide that it is unacceptable to serve The Divine, I have the freedom to walk away, at will, no notice required. I have the freedom to also choose to return…anytime; at will.

When I decide that “good” or “better” is somewhere outside of The Divine plan, I have the right to choose not to serve anymore. And when I say “serve”, I do not intend to imply servanthood. I AM FREE. I am in a relationship with The Divine by choice.

I choose to believe.

I choose to serve.

I choose to offer my life as worship.

My experience is that I continue to gain love, light, joy and peace from my decision to embrace The Divine.

What do you choose today?

Be confident in YOUR choice.

Know why you choose what/whom you choose.

I know in Whom I have believed. Humans come and go, but Yesú has promised never to discard or abandon us…regardless.

Whatever your choice, dear one, I’m here. Always. Loving you. Simply being here with/for you.

Common Day Hero: You were always around for the laughs (bringing the laughs too!)….more recently, you’ve been with me in the difficult…the pain and tears. Even though the miles separate us, I AM so grateful for your love and prayers. Be kind to R! I dedicate this post to you, Jibu.

rest

The love of Yesú is Eternal…timeless…Divine.

I have sat with this statement at various points, through the years…trying to let it sink in and I sit with it now – nothing can separate me from the love of Yesú…nuh-thing. no oneever!

I AM always held. Always loved. Always wanted. I can never, ever be separated from the One who created me, placed dignity and worth within me, filled me with Everlasting love and Eternal hope.

I can rest in that Truth.

This has always encouraged me, but especially these past two months, I’ve been reminding myself often: humans can sometimes take external things – money, vehicles, land, houses, clothes, jewelry, appliances, furniture, fill in the blank…any external thing can be taken away. 

What can never be touched by another human are the Eternal gifts I’ve chosen to receive from The Divine: love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, faith, integrity and hope…just to name a few.

If you’re going through (or have gone through) a time when you felt robbed and terribly wronged or violated, I am saddened, hurt, upset and feel the weight of it all with you. I can’t claim to know what specifically will help us, as individuals, because each of our circumstances are complex and unique. 

May I encourage you to consider reaching out to a therapist, a support group, a true friend, a mentor to receive the strength you need to fully process…to sit with it all and completely feel and face the difficult…my hope is that we continually gain healing and health in every area. 

Give yourself permission to rest in the fact that there are internal/Eternal gifts that can never be touched by a human. I AM powerful is a strong reminder for me, especially in shaky moments. I say it often to remember Truth when lies are swarming all around and trying to pull me down.

Yesú remains a solace, a safe place, a strong tower, a refuge, always inviting, unconditionally loving, eternally patient, incomparably kind, The Best Surprise Giver (fa real!), Miracle-Maker, Ultimate Warrior, the solidarity of a loving sibling, the nurturing warmth of Amma (Mother), the confidence of Abba (Father), a faithful and forever friend…

There is so much more that could be said and I feel it still wouldn’t be enough to accurately describe The Divine. I have personally found in Yesú ~ Strength for this present moment and Hope for the next.

Dear weary soul, I invite you to rest.

Anytime I say the word rest, I’m reminded of the words of Yesú in Verse twenty-eight of Chapter eleven of the Book of St. Matthew (The Bible), “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest“.

Rest is a gift ~ for the taking, if we choose. 

Will we choose to believe Truth, despite what we may currently/physically see around us? Will we choose rest? Will we choose to fall into the Arms of The One who will never grow tired of us? 

For me, rest equals surrender.

I see The arms of Love reaching out to me, so that I can choose…surrender.

Surrender is releasing my burdens: daily, I choose to release negative thoughts, people and circumstances – and especially those over which I have no control.

Surrender is fully receiving the Love and Comfort offered: daily, I choose to focus on how loved, protected and secure I AM in Yesú. 

What does rest look like for you?

What comes up for you when you hear the word surrender?

Common Day Hero: You are loyal, intentional, a visionary and a listener/follower of Yesú. I felt your kindness and love from day one ~ you shared your dreams for the love of your life (glad to see how The Divine orchestrated all of that so beautifully!). It was a joy to dance and celebrate with you at my fortieth. I hold you and your family dear. You have always and will forever be Bhai to me. Today, I dedicate this post to you.

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