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On Monday of this week, we learned that a hurricane was en route to Louisiana and South East Texas. By Wednesday, we were told that it was a category four hurricane. Many of my family members and friends make their home in Beaumont and surrounding cities.

Some refused to evacuate and chose to shelter in place while others began leaving as soon as the news arrived. This isn’t the first hurricane my family has seen; thus, the refusal by some to leave. Thankfully, when Thursday morning arrived, the storm wasn’t as bad as predicted in the area my family calls home. Sadly, it was as bad as predicted for other areas.

Many of us may not be facing a physical storm now, but an internal or personal storm is raging. We may feel alone, but we are not alone. Many have gone before us, many walk alongside us, many are coming behind us on the journey and many of us isolate and struggle in secret.

If you’re ready to come out of isolation/hiding, what about one or all of these possibilities? Reach out to a therapist, join a support group, start a book club, sign-up for a dance/fitness class, schedule a monthly gathering of the girls/guys (even if it’s virtual)…

A song (actually, just the chorus) from nineteen eighty-nine recently came to mind and I began singing it. The words reminded me that regardless of what occurs (internally or externally), I AM safe in the Divine…My Rock, My Friend, My Abba and Amma. The storm still rages, but I find comfort in these words:

“In the eye of the hurricane -in the center of the storm – in the chaos there’s a comfort – a harbor safe and warm – though strong winds may blow – they can’t change what I know – and I’ll hold to the Rock – that the winds can’t erode.” by Singer: Trace Balin on the Album: Here and Now

What brings you comfort in the storm? What speaks peace to you regardless of external circumstances?

My little sister called me Tuesday morning about coming to stay at my house. She didn’t ask. She knew she didn’t need to ask. As soon as I answered the phone, she said, hey, there’s a hurricane on its way here, so I’m coming up there. I AM so glad she knows that she can do that with me.

Who are the people you know will be/are a safe haven during the storms in your life? Friends who will listen, hold, feed and pray for you (if you want)…friends who will love you well…

My personality is such that I would have every room in our house filled and the back yard too…my home is always open; unfortunately, there is a limit on the space, facilities and finances we have…there is no limit tho to the prayers, hugs, dap and kind words I can offer…and that’s available anytime!

From my heart to yours: strength, wisdom and peace in/during and through the storms.

Common Day Hero: You always greeted me with a smile. At my very first gathering with the family, you took time to check on me and reassure me that I was welcome/wanted. You didn’t even know me and you had your apprehensions, but you remained sincere and kind. This week, you celebrated your fifth birthday in heaven. That is still surreal and always bring tears. I imagine you and my dad have become better acquainted now and are smiling down on all of us! Aunt Norma, I dedicate this post to you.

So…for my birthday this year, the friend who gave me Simba, gave me Midnight (the newest little in our home!). Midnight, aka M. Night Stanley is an adorable two and a half pound, black bundle of curiosity and energy. Yes, we now have a kitten!

Midnight wasn’t “planned”, or maybe I should say we didn’t plan for Midnight! A friend of mine said yes to fostering three rescue kittens and Midnight was one of the three who just happened to arrive while I was visiting. I walked into the room and the kitten that had been hissing and hiding and running scared out of her mind, cuddled right up to my neck.

What “unplanned” event are you grateful for, today?

Midnight was/is a pleasant surprise! See, my friend didn’t know that from the time I was eleven till I was fifteen, I had a black cat whom I simply adored. At fifteen, my family relocated and I was forced to give my cat away. We were told that my cat was frightened and ran away from the new home. I was so hurt and upset and vowed never to get another pet because the pain was too deep.

I received Midnight as a sweet gift from God. In this dark and bleak season, Midnight came as a reminder that I AM SEEN by the Divine. Regardless of the countless times I feel unseen, this Truth remains, I AM seen!

What or whom have you welcomed as a pleasant surprise?

Midnight is so curious. She has shown our family the beauty and sense of wonder that only little ones can. With each new day, she is venturing out more…further into the house, discovering new hiding places, new things to pounce on, new items to serve as toys and always any food/crumbs that might have fallen.

What is one thing we can do today to renew our sense of wonder…pique our curiosity?

Midnight is small…nothing she does will change this instantly. Over time, she will grow and gain strength, but today, here, now, she is tiny and fragile. I must fully accept the place I’m currently in to appreciate it (and all that it may come to signify, in the future).

What difficult thing (or person!) do you need to accept/reconcile within yourself?

Midnight is black. Black is beautiful. Midnight is stunning! When I was growing up (and sadly, even now), I heard fair is lovely. The messages all around me (in both European American and Asian/Indian American circles) are that dark is scary, unwanted and far from lovely. As I became older, I told myself the Truth (often) till it became a part of me. We are all lovely because we are image bearers of the Divine One.

What is something that has been “false” for so long, but you know it’s true? What is one step that you can take to begin embracing this Truth?

Common Day Hero: Unexpected friend, especially in times of need…you are a friend, in deed/indeed! You are generous, funny and empathetic. With a grateful heart, I dedicate this post to you, Mel.

I’ve grown up hearing that I need to be driven…hustle…grind…work, work, work, work, work. At all costs and I mean all costs…whether it costs me myself, time with my husband, kids, extended family, friends, my sanity…didn’t matter.

Whatever the cost, do anything necessary to keep it moving…to attain financial security or whatever externally appears to be financial success. In my twenties, I heard someone sharing about being led.

Interesting…led, not driven.

It sent me on a journey of soul-searching. I began working my way back through situations and it seemed all around me, people were busy trying to be “secure”. I truly believe and know at my core that there is no such thing as external security.

What we think is solid and unshakable can be turned upside down in an instant…the pandemic seems to have highlighted that again for all of us. Our stocks can crash, our retirement fund can evaporate faster than we thought possible, our pay checks can stop without explanation, our identities can be stolen, our spouses can decide that it’s the end of the road, our kids can choose paths that cause themselves harm, our savings can be eaten up by unforeseen circumstances and so on and so forth.

Being led, not driven simply put is that I AM healthy with my boundaries on all things external. So that when the external crashes, I am shaken internally but not smothered. I may be disappointed, but not destroyed. I may be in tears and they may unexpectedly come in waves, but I will not drown. I will re-center and remind myself to cling to that which is a firm foundation, my safe haven, my faith in the Divine plan unfolding.

I take time to work. I work to the best of my ability, but I am not “on” twenty-four/seven for work. My quiet time is of utmost importance if I hope to be my best self. So, I take time to meditate, pray, take deep breaths, journal, sing, play music or sounds of the ocean and move forward from a place of being led from within, not driven by the external.

What are you feeling? Anxiety, fear, stress…driven? May I suggest some time of quiet, a safe space to meditate, focus, breathe and pray? From that place, be led into every assignment, connection, work and see/feel/experience the difference of being led, not driven.

Common Day Hero: I have seen you with nothing, with much and in between the two. Regardless of the situation, your faith has sustained you and remains a beacon for many. You have shared your money even when you knew you would go hungry if you shared. I AM grateful beyond description for the way Abba has blessed you, internally and externally. Leni, love you so much. Stay unconventional, creative and kind.

Moments…defining moments…trying to recall my earliest one, but it’s a little hazy. And when I ask about defining moments, it seems we’re all drawn to happy, funny or celebratory times: epic engagements, our first car or house purchase, that time when we…you know (insert personal/hilarious/embarrassing moment)!

Today, I’m thinking more along the lines of the journey from something that seemed crushing and unnecessary to proving Divine, fruitful and definitely more beneficial than imagined.

Have you experienced the heart-wrenching pain of rejection? From a friend, a lover, a family member, a friend that was “like” family or fill in the blank…

Have you experienced the shock of what you believed was true shattering as you watched…unable to move or turning away but at every turn, the same scene continues playing? Have you struggled to reconcile the words coming at you with what you were so sure you knew?

I believe we have all experienced it in some form or fashion. I am experiencing it now. And while I’m crying multiple times a day, I am also processing with my cat and a few kind humans who continue to create and maintain a safe space for me.

I AM genuinely grieving the decisions of some others who have deeply wounded my heart. I AM letting all the feelings, thoughts, dreams, visions and nightmares come to the surface. It is painful. At times, it feels overwhelming, suffocating and much too much for my heart. I will myself to breathe…and…breathe in deep.

I repeatedly breathe in the good and exhale the negative. I continue to remind myself of the importance of taking care of my heart…facing and slaying lies, clinging to the Truth and extending grace, especially to myself, even when others are withholding it.

I was raised to give grace to others, but for just a few years now, I’ve been learning and practicing extending grace to myself. 

I know what I want and wish for now, but I choose to pray solely for strength and wisdom in this current place (for all parties). I cannot claim to know all the reasons and ways of the Divine. I wholeheartedly believe that each of us are so loved and always have the opportunity to choose our own path.

Unexpected and unwanted things occur on all of our paths, at times, but we can choose how we respond and we can choose to change course. I say this often, to myself and others, the beauty of love is choice (the opposite is slavery).

Unfailing Love, Ultimate Light, Abba, Yesú, the Divine sometimes moves in mysterious ways. In this defining moment, through tears, I choose surrender. I choose trust. I choose to be still because regardless of the pain of today and the unknown of tomorrow, I AM safe in the eternal hug of the Divine.

I AM free to be me. I AM loved forever. I AM perfectly understood and fully accepted. And so are YOU, dear heart. You are fill in the Truth you need for this moment. Say it out loud (and as loud!) as YoU need. Say it as often as YoU need. Write it out where you can see it and be reminded to carry only the Truth.

We journey together – maybe at varying points on the path; nonetheless, together. Soak in the comfort of togetherness, solidarity and the strength gained from knowing that although we may feel alone, we are never abandoned, forgotten or alone.

Common Day Hero: Courage, grace and tenacity are what I’ve seen in you. Complete healing, wisdom and peace on your journey. “Snoopy” ~ I dedicate this post to you! 

long sigh…just hearing the word brought so much fear when I was younger.

My parents were married for over twenty years, separated for a few and then divorced. Although they were married for two decades, my dad was only home four to five months every year.

He had committed to buying and starting English schools in various parts of India, so most of his time was spent there. Some of my school years were in India, but my mom, sister and I were together, in America, more than not.

I was raised to believe that marriage ranked an individual “higher” and  “holier” than one who was divorced. Quite often religious leaders around me quoted a piece from The Bible saying, “God hates divorce.” It seemed the divorced people were also hated by the “holier” crowd. 

I believe divorce isn’t ever the goal of a couple when choosing to spend their lives together. Shit happens! 

For some, divorce is easily explained away…meaning society approves. Infidelity and domestic violence (physical) are the two reasons I’ve heard the most within our circle and community at large. I can’t recall ever hearing of a divorce because of verbal abuse which is also domestic violence.

For some, divorce isn’t “approved” by society so, the trauma of divorce is only intensified by the lack of empathy and support from family and friends. For some, “image” is so important that they choose to remain married on paper and “avoid” cultural/societal shame. For some, it’s financially beneficial to remain married, but live completely separate lives, under one roof.

In my earlier years, my upbringing had me believing that being divorced was equivalent to being marked unclean, subpar, unwelcome and failure. Through the years, I’ve come to see divorce as life experience…strength gained…lessons learned. 

I know divorce can be painful and bittersweet. When my parents divorced, it felt like all the letters were jumbled and although I’m fairly decent at Scrabble and now Bananagrams, I couldn’t make any real words. I kept my hand tightly closed around the letters. I spread them out on the table (ok, threw them). I made up my own words. I jumbled the letters up again. It hurt like crazy and at the same time I was relieved. 

I’ve been up-close when friends have walked through the difficult decision of divorce, for a plethora of reasons. Some intentionally caused excruciating pain to each other. Some unintentionally hurt one another and just couldn’t find a way to work through all the negatives. Others parted as amicably as possible after repeatedly hitting the same proverbial wall.

I’ve felt the pain of losing friendships because I couldn’t choose “sides”…wouldn’t choose one spouse over the other. From as early as I can remember, I could see both sides. I believe after becoming a mother, I began empathizing and sitting with both sides (as much as possible). 

Dear heart, only you can decide what you want to live with, you define the level of comfort and safety that is best for you! Despite the fear, move forward as you are led. Call a licensed therapist, lawyer, true friend or all three.

We are in this together…always. We are inextricably connected by the Divine. Courage, stamina and grace to you!

Common Day Hero: You are feisty, fierce, full of energy and faith. You are diligent, determined and have the best arms. Literally! Emily, my Irish Cream friend, I dedicate this post to you.

The first recollection I have of feeling the sting of death was at ten years of age. My paternal grandfather had to be admitted to the hospital and my family was in Kerala (at my grandparents’ house) during that time. I was playing in front of the house when my grandmother received the news that my grandfather had passed.

Nothing could have prepared me. As soon as my grandmother heard the news, she cried out, “My God!” and started hitting her chest, open-palmed as she wailed. The adults around her wept with her and tried to console her. I don’t remember much else, except that I can still see the image of my father at the funeral.

He was one of the pallbearers and seemed like such a pillar of strength as he carried the box that held his father. I had no idea how he really felt because we didn’t share our hearts.

As I got older, death seemed to come more often to the lives around me. Maybe I just noticed and felt it more often. One morning, not long after turning thirty, I had sudden and terrible back pain. Till this point, I’d never had back pain in my life.

When I went to the restroom, I thought Aunt Flo, that monthly visitor, had arrived. I noticed that she seemed to have brought so much extra luggage this time around. I don’t recall how many days the pain continued, but Aunt Flo seemed to have vanished as quickly as she had appeared.

I knew something was amiss. (Sidebar: Dear ones, when you sense that something is awry, no need to wait for proof. Make the call, schedule that appointment, send the email, write that note, have the difficult and uncomfortable conversation, etc.) I scheduled an ObGyn visit and learned that I had been pregnant!

I was told that I was possibly seven weeks along and had miscarried. Another human occupied space in my body and I had no clue. How? I’m aware that many times one can be pregnant and just not know or feel any different. Still…I was shocked and overwhelmingly sad.

I was told that I didn’t need a dilatation and curettage (D and C) because my body had released all the parts. Everything seemed surreal. The sadness and emotional pain was deep. There was cussing-level physical pain too. I cried many tears…some alone and some with my husband (Niji).

No casket, no flowers, no body to see or hold, no one bringing food to us and still, the pain was inexplicable. Niji and I decided to have a little remembrance…a service with just the two of us. We named our baby (yes, we were/are painfully aware that it was too early to know the gender); nonetheless, we chose a name.

We said prayers for and with each other. We shared words intended to encourage and verses intended to comfort us. I can’t recall being comforted in the moment. In some ways, I felt numb. I was moving forward how I thought would best help me with/through this loss.

Fast forward five years, I meet my brave little baby girl, the one I’m privileged to adopt (along with her brother). She was seven weeks old when I miscarried! That is when I fully embraced the “verses intended to comfort” back when heaven took our baby. I AM in awe of The Divine and The Divine plan…yet unfolding.

For those who have carried the hope of a baby, those who have seen a dream die (maybe repeatedly), for those who are holding miracles today and those who are clinging to the hope of a miracle…strength and peace to you on the journey.

For those who are struggling with death and all that comes up after, all that surrounds it…for those who are exhausted beyond description from all the struggling, for those attempting to compartmentalize grief or yearning for someone with whom to honestly share the journey…strength, comfort and healing to you.

Common Day Hero: To ALL on this journey ~ accepting and processing the reality of death (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), sending love to you as you sit with, face, process and walk through what will forever change us, typically, making us more empathetic. Dear ones, I dedicate this post to you. 

that dreadful topic…I am all too familiar with this one. I didn’t realize that this had become a constant companion, like a dog that follows us from room to room, just no glee here. Depression was a topic my family didn’t discuss. I didn’t realize it then, but too much fear surrounded us if/when certain topics arose.

I can’t recall what I thought about depression or if I thought about it at all in childhood. What I know is this – in my late teens, depression was categorized as a negative of giant proportions. Typically, the messages I heard around me implied that it was a weakness…the individual’s fault, possibly for not being spiritual enough or not mentally or emotionally “strong” enough. I wasn’t sure what to think…

A part of the definition for depression, provided by Merriam Webster, is as follows: “A state of feeling sad or a mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness and sometimes suicidal tendencies.”

I believe depression isn’t something we pray away or trick away by just “choosing” to think different thoughts or creating diversions in our usual routine. Depression is very real and at times, painful to discuss. it.is.heavy. sigh…a one size does not fit all kind of topic. It’s disconcerting for those of us who genuinely believe we have all the answers…those of us who have nice, neat, little, color-coordinated boxes that are dusted, labelled, in alphabetical order and stacked just so…

I had all the answers at twenty (or slightly earlier!), but somewhere along the way, the tidy little stack that I thought was well-contained, got bumped (who did that?!) and then a-l-l those boxes came toppling down, crashing around me, lids flying in different directions and the contents spilling unpredictably out, far and wide. Oh dear! Oh my! What was I to do when everything no longer fit just so?

Since we didn’t talk about depression at home or in our religious circles and since the general belief of those surrounding me (at that time) was that it was simply a mind-over-matter issue…a pray-it-away or just get more active deal, I didn’t recognize the signs when it came for me. Is there a more suitable way to say that?

In my late twenties, I began hearing others speak of depression at women’s conferences; started reading articles about it and doing a little unofficial research of my own. Meaning, I searched online and asked others about their thoughts, views, feelings. Slowly, I realized that a few of the symptoms were at home with me.

Specifically, inactivity and sadness had settled in without my notice. Acknowledging the reality of  depression in my own self was heavy and difficult work. I had to keep reminding myself it was alright…I was alright and that this didn’t equal being doomed. I wasn’t outside the reach of grace. I wasn’t weak.

I had to deconstruct the beliefs I was raised with, beliefs that those around me were so sure about and wanted me to accept without question. Trembling, I walked through the halls and rooms where judgment, fear, self-loathing and shame had first taken residence. I sat with the pain. I didn’t push it away or run from it.

Unhurriedly, I let myself pick up each little box that had fallen. I picked up all the contents. I revisited everything. I let the tears, disappointment, hurt and anger come to the surface.

I read countless articles and books, I journaled (made notes on my phone), I prayed, I began seeing a licensed therapist, attended conferences, retreats and an emotional boot camp.

I chose not to go to a psychiatrist. Please move forward with seeing one if that is what you need.

The path looks different for each of us. For some of us, depression is seasonal. For some of us, it has come and gone since childhood. For some of us, depression is ever-present, like a cloud above our heads, at all times. For some of us, depression is not the absence of light or color, it is merely life in the shadows. For some of us, depression is just the other side of the coin. For some of us, depression is simply unexplainable.

I believe in the power of prayer, a good book, a hot cup of tea, a comedy, natural/essential oils, positive affirmations (verses, poems, lyrics, personal truth statements), research/science, medicine, a play, a long bath surrounded by countless candles and incense, a massage, milk, dark and white chocolate, but depression can’t be reduced to just one call/option/thing or a few home remedies.

Formulaic responses cannot fit the unique circumstances and experience of every human.

I may never fully understand the mental and emotional anguish of another; I may never know what it’s like to feel a heavy weight on the daily. And that.is.alright.

We need not have shared experience to be fully present with one another…to be silent and whole-heartedly listen to each other’s stories…to empathize…to love.

As we hear/read about depression, do we see any signs in ourselves (especially since DaCovid and DeVyress moved into our ‘hood)? Do we see signs now that may have been missed in childhood…or last year? Are we ready to acknowledge the difficult things? Are there a few friends we can trust to walk with us on this journey? Are we ready to make the call for professional help? Are we ready to fully embrace grace for ourselves?

WE are strong because we cry, process and talk openly, unashamedly through all the things.

WE are brave because we keep showing up for ourselves.

WE are superheroes because we live life to the fullest (regardless)!

Common Day Hero: For letting me in your world sometimes (lol)…for unashamedly being yourself and simultaneously willing to grow and evolve into your best self,  BettyBoop, my lil sis since ’92, I dedicate this post to you.

Ugghh…that dreadful disease. Sadly, I don’t have family medical records from generations past. What I know is that my paternal and maternal grandparents had diabetes. My grandparents had siblings who were doctors and nurses, so lack of information wasn’t an issue. Applying that information…sigh.

Both of my parents have diabetes and I didn’t know till last year (!) that my mother’s first round with this disease may have started when she became pregnant with my sister, (gestational). I don’t know if she had it earlier than that because she didn’t visit the doctor regularly, before marriage.

I don’t recall my parents discussing their personal health with me. I remember that my father wanted us to make healthy food choices. Mom may have wanted it too, but fried pies and donuts and pre-packaged snacks were quite often the way she displayed her love. I remember Dad drinking barley juice and wheat grass in the early eighties and making me drink it as well (yuck)!

Early in childhood, I linked unhealthy food to good behavior. It’s what I was rewarded with at school, Sunday School and home. Growing up, Sundays meant donuts and plenty of candy. I excelled in school and was rewarded with pizza, chips and again plenty of candy.

And the seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) began…I would eat unhealthy foods (high carbs and sugar) as often as I could and then mentally beat myself up for not making better choices.

I am such a direct, straight-forward, no bull shit kind of person, to myself as well, but not so when the topic is my health or healthy food choices. I don’t fully know why that “direct self” didn’t translate to my health, but it may be because food was my “safe” place. That meant, no rules.

In my thirties, when I was first asked to return for a glucose test, I ran. Then, I became an ostrich and buried my head in the sand. I did exactly what I would tell anyone else not to do. I hid.

The hiding only increased my sugar consumption. Every birthday, graduation, wedding or other celebratory event we attended meant that I would have as much sugar as I wanted and go undetected. A sugar addict with diabetes, but no one knew. I spoke openly about my sugar addiction, but never about diabetes.

Just seeing or hearing the word feels like a death sentence. A well-intentioned friend (who didn’t know that I had been diagnosed with diabetes) once said to me that if someone in their twenties or thirties gets Type II diabetes, it’s their own stupidity and fault.

After she left, I cried terribly and beat myself up mentally and emotionally with a ton of negative talk…the lies I accepted in childhood and clung to for so long…”you’re stupid”, “what’s wrong with you that you can’t handle this small thing?”, “you don’t deserve good health” and I may have had cake that night too! So, the seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) continued.

A few years later, I finally went to a new doctor and was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I began taking the pills. Still, I told no one. I felt so much shame and guilt. I felt like a failure. I felt so alone. I was too afraid to share any of it. So…the seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) continued.

Knowledge doesn’t equal transformation.

When I spoke of my sugar addiction, others would say just don’t keep sugar and high carb snacks in your pantry. Well, I enjoy driving, so that didn’t stop me. If we didn’t have it, I’d just go through a drive-through or grocery store. So, the seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) continued…

Imagine falling into a long, dark well. The rush of excitement, adventure and all that adrenaline is suddenly gone because it’s a confined, narrow space. I’m not usually claustrophobic, but the fall had me rethinking that. Once I hit the water, it’s as if a current quickly pulled me under and I was trapped in a cyclone…spinning and spinning while my head hurt beyond description. That is what sugar highs and negative talk felt like, to me.

And I was an expert at mentally beating myself up because I had been doing this since I was ten (if not earlier). A positive is that I am now speaking gently and kindly to myself. In fact, it’s been three years (this month) since I quit negative self talk! And that seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) is broken!

If it comes up, I immediately catch it, hold it up to the Light and see if it’s something that has any validity…if it has validity, what’s behind it (all is not as it appears) so I begin digging (asking questions) till I find the root. Then I begin uprooting (stating Truth). It’s a process. It takes consistent practice. And that seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) is broken!

If it has no validity, it is placed in a pile to be thrown out with the trash. Sometimes, it helps to write it out and tear it up into very small pieces (it symbolizes to me that those words have no power). Some days, I just shake my head and say, not today! Other days, I say, that ain’t fa me or that’s not me.

I AM learning to continue practicing positive affirmations, apply the comfort and hope of the verses I memorized as a child and breathe in all the good.

I AM choosing healthy snacks like apples, walnuts, cheese, bell peppers and hummus more (but there are days nothing will suffice like a handful of chocolate covered almonds or a slice of cake!). Rather than beat myself up about it, I focus on taking an appropriate portion and taking my time to enjoy the sweets. And the seemingly endless spiral downwards (like spin cycle on a washer) is broken!

I AM drinking more water (not at the goal yet, but closer and more consistent than I’ve ever been!).

How about you? Is there anything that has/is keeping you from moving forward in life? It may not be health related. Maybe it’s a friendship that isn’t really true, a romantic relationship that isn’t equal/kind/genuine, maybe something school or work related or something entirely different…whatever/whomever it is, has negative self-talk kept the spin cycle on full blast and repeat?

If so, what’s one positive statement, verse, quote, lyric that we can embrace today? Write it out on a note card, the mirror or make it a screen saver on all the electronic devices. Begin and/or end the day reading this Truth out loud…and as often as needed throughout the day.

I must say again that therapy, individual counseling, life coaching and a safe community may all be things to consider on our journey. As we choose health – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, watch change take root…in our hearts, in our health and in our homes!

Here for and with you on this journey!

Common Day Hero: I have seen you embrace the good. You continue to welcome all into your world. You listen well. You are refreshing. Shawn W.L., my friend and kindred spirit, I dedicate this post to you.

I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a mother one day (thought I’d muck it up terribly)…
I didn’t grow up dreaming of getting married…I didn’t grow up dreaming of founding a non-profit org…
I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a business owner…

I didn’t grow up dreaming.

So, I was “late” by society’s standards, but I personally believe everything is on time with the Divine.

At twenty-seven, I married the man of my choosing and began daring to dream! At twenty-eight, I became a business owner and a few years later welcomed two adorable and kind children. I’ve always had a heart to help, so I founded a non-profit org (Shiloh Restored). Rescuing children from death, educating those less fortunate, empowering women through business ventures and hosting retreats for men and women. 

At forty I became a college graduate (Go Mean Green!). I started blogging earlier this year and just last month, started a proofreading and editing business (MissEdit.net)! And now, I AM dreaming…of becoming diabetes-free!

This seems by far, the most difficult and challenging issue of my life. My strongest/greatest (strong and great seem such positive words, but at the moment, I don’t know which other words to use) addiction for as long as I can remember has been sugar…and bread. sigh.

I am struggling even more with sugar cravings now that Covid-19 has fully settled among us. Long sigh. I AM  determined to push through this. For the first time (with regards to sugar/carbs), I am not quitting. Many days have found me making terribly poor choices, but I am not giving up. 

Making poor choices feels like I’ve suddenly fallen to the floor. Passed out, actually. I lay there for God knows how long…seems like an eternity. Finally, I start coming back to consciousness. Everything moves in slow motion. I rub my eyes, shake my head, assess where I am. Then, slowly…I start to rise.

I have committed to continue to rise, re-evaluate, make just one better choice and keep moving forward. Even if two or three whole days in a row are filled with sugar and/or bread, I will be free. I will rise! This is new for me. Before now, I would become so upset with myself, repeat self-defeating words and just give up entirely. 

A few months ago, I began keeping a food log (gasp. shriek. cuss. run!). I couldn’t believe how much sugar I was eating on a daily basis! I knew I ate a lot of sugar, but I didn’t realize just how much a LOT was!

Maybe it would help to share a day from my food log – a cup of coffee, a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, a bowl of Magic Spoon cocoa cereal, a bottle of water (sixteen.nine fl oz), two biscuits with cheese, two biscuits with jam, a bottle of water, a banana, two Betty Crocker strawberry cupcakes, a bottle of water, cheese popcorn and another bottle of water. That entry was THIS week!

I share this in hopes of being an encouragement. See my failures. Know that I’m just as human. We are not alone. We can do this! No matter how many times we fail, we can pick back up and make healthy choices again.

Have we stopped dreaming? Is there a dream (or three!) that we’ve shelved? Let’s begin dreaming and letting our dreams live again! We are in the struggle together. I AM committed to change…even if slow, our progress is certain! Here’s to a new life  – one healthy choice at a time!

Common Day Hero: The road has been exciting and frustrating at times, but you have continued to walk with me. You believed in me (and my health) when I didn’t believe in myself. Niji voted that this post be dedicated to you without knowing that I had already chosen to dedicate this post to you! I greatly appreciate your commitment to help me on this journey. You are a solid and trustworthy friend. I dedicate this post to you, Jin.