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I learned generosity from my parents. Growing up, I watched my mother (Kamala) give away so much to many people. Typically, she gave to those less fortunate than us and religious leaders. We didn’t have much ourselves, but from the little we had, we always gave. I say “we” but the truth is at times, I was forced to give.

I was certainly not happy when she gave away my things. She would usually tell me not to be attached to anything and that I should be grateful for everything I had (never mind how long it was mine!). Then she would tell me that I needed to share said item including reasons why I should happily give it away (sometimes in front of the person!). sigh. I believe her intentions were good.

At seventeen, I moved in with my vanilla/European American/Caucasian family and witnessed the generosity of my French Vanilla mom Jada. She modeled a “cheerful giver”.

I began giving generously as a teenager, but sadly had no boundaries. I didn’t save or invest. I had nothing but debt to show for all my years of work. Enter Niji Stanley (best friend, lover, favorite/only husband!). Thankfully, he is an avid saver and debt-averse! He saw my joy in giving and helped create boundaries, so that I could continue to be generous.

When we first began our life together, our salaries combined weren’t much. Niji was committed to saving twenty-five dollars a month. In addition, I had twenty-five dollars a month to give from what I began calling my benevolent fund. If I chose to give all twenty-five to one individual then I had to wait till the following month to give again!

With every promotion and raise, my benevolent fund increased! Since Niji is prone to save more and I am prone to give more, we make a good team. We challenge one another and through the years have learned to give each other room to fully be our true selves.

I recently gave two hundred dollars to someone whose work hours were affected by ‘rona/Covid-19! The following week I received two hundred dollars from a friend who wanted to support my business! Last week I gave seventy-five dollars to a friend (to support her business). Later in the week, I did some editing work for a friend and she gave me one hundred dollars!

I AM fascinated to see these principles at play, “what goes around, comes around”, “karma” and “we reap what we sow”. I don’t give to get. I also do not advocate giving with an expectation to get something in return. I give because I AM genuinely overjoyed to help others.

When I was younger, I gave without thinking. Over time, I have learned to be still, listen and give as I’m led (otherwise, the needs are overwhelming and crushing for a giver who is also an empath).

When we sow generosity into the universe, it’s my personal belief that we reap generously from the Divine.

Where can we give today? A family in need, a local non-profit organization, a conscious entrepreneur, a mental health counselor, an auto shop (pay the bill for someone) a therapist (give ourselves the gift of healing), pay speeding tickets (or other fines) for those less fortunate, support a local business funding policy change/s…

What can we give today? Our time – volunteering, our expertise -online, over the phone or on a video call (since ‘rona got many of us at home again!), our possessions – clothing or other items around the house that haven’t been touched in GAWD only knows and our finances…

Common Day Hero: Life didn’t bring what you hoped or expected. Through it all, you remained (and still are) a devoted prayer warrior. My beautiful and strong mother, Kamala, I dedicate this post to you.

I am saddened, angered and exhausted by the rhetoric of the powers that be (in every arena). We hear words that seem satisfactory, in the moment and without realizing it, we are lulled to indifference, mediocrity and eventually sleep. Sleep – a complete unawareness of what is truly happening in front of our own eyes, right around the corner or down the street. Seems while we were sleeping, grace became obsolete.

Grace as I understand it, is unmerited favor, courteous goodwill, refinement of movement, a title, an extension of time and…I’m curious, what’s your personal definition of “grace”?

For those of us who grew up in (or were surrounded by) religious circles, grace may have been a word that was used c-o-u-n-t-l-e-s-s times. Present day has me reflecting on a few things: when did we first hear the word? In what context was the word primarily used? How did we personally begin using the word? Was the word accurately reflected in the way we lived? Have we seen the word lived out by those in our circle?

Have we confused or replaced grace with favoritism and nepotism? Favoritism – giving unfair and preferential treatment to an individual or group. Nepotism – using power or influence to favor relatives and/or friends. In our everyday lives, how much of a role do favoritism and nepotism play?

Despite the behavior of the world around us, are we swift to listen and slow to speak? Do we allow others to complete thoughts even when they slightly differ or are completely opposite of our own? Have we built friendships with only those who talk like us, claim to believe like us, vote like us, etc?

If we avoid building relationships with those who are different than us, are we limiting our own oxygen (by living in a “bubble”)? Are we hindering our own growth (because of unaddressed implicit bias and prejudice, among other things)? If we choose to move outside our areas of comfort, will it not open the door for opportunities to learn and grow in grace?

Have we genuinely accepted grace for ourselves? Rather than judgment and negative self talk on repeat, do we have grace for our own flaws and the “process” – wrestling with a new or less than welcome idea/approach as well as what often may seem like slow movement towards progress? Only then can we extend it to others.

Have we extended grace to the “stranger” among us…those who are different than us, those who are poverty-stricken, the mentally unstable, the homeless (emotionally and physically)? At times, grace is simply space – to be seen, heard and empowered.

What is a practical step we can take in embracing and extending grace today?

Common Day Hero: You model grace. You are quick to admit your flaws. You are brave, kind, fierce and loyal to all who count you a friend (I’m glad to be in that number!). Sanu, I dedicate this post to you.

My tears have been my food, day and night, while they say to me, ALL day long, WHERE is your GOD? This is the third verse of the 42nd Psalm, in the Bible. I personally haven’t stopped my food intake, but my tears have been at an all time high.

My emotional pain can be felt in my physical body and sometimes all of it feels like too much. I take deep breaths (several times a day), I cry, I burn incense (since childhood, the aroma has been comforting), I pray, I sigh, I light a candle, I talk through the details with friends who want to do so.

For some of us, current events have us angry…angry at the people we believe are causing a fuss, those whom we believe are stirring strife, dividing and causing harm. For some of us, we are angry at not being believed, not being heard, still not validated or understood. For some of us, the spaces we thought were safe are proving quite fragile…more fragile than we ever really realized before…all this. For some of us, we are adjusting to standing alone, without the support system we thought would always be available.

In my late twenties, I realized that anger is almost always a secondary emotion. Many times we don’t realize that we were first hurt, saddened, disappointed or experienced some other pain. Anger and frustration sometimes come so readily/easily and seems more socially acceptable. So, I’m asking us, what is beneath the anger? Is it pain, disappointment, grief, something else? Take time to reflect and acknowledge the root.

No human can dictate what that process looks like for each of us. Give yourself (and those around you) room to reflect, to name each grief, each hurt, to process and fully release. Do we dismiss our hurts (or allow external forces to dismiss it)? How can we choose to prioritize our pain and grief this week?

Prioritizing and processing grief and pain opens the door to gratitude. I believe grief and gratitude can coexist. I am grieving with my fellow humans during this difficult time and counting what I’m grateful for in the moment.

I value my heritage because it has contributed to experiences that resulted in deep reflection, curiosity and personal growth. I appreciate my parents for building relationships with people of all backgrounds. This gave me the joy of seeing beauty in every culture/flavor. I have continued to respect and welcome all people (regardless of ____) into my life.

I AM grateful for the friends and family who are willing to have difficult conversations. I genuinely appreciate those who have created safe spaces where any.thing can be asked so that we can all learn and grow.

I AM so thankful for friends who have recently acknowledged their own prejudice and racist tendencies (I had to face all of that within myself some years ago). Only when we know the Truth can we be set free.

I AM encouraged to see what seems a more cohesive unit working towards equality for all.

I AM hopeful that we will see policy changes that translate to quality education for ALL (regardless of race or socioeconomic status), increased accountability of those called to protect and serve as well as religious leaders.

As a first generation American of East Indian/Curry descent, I have much gratitude for the Civil Rights Movement. It is because of their tireless efforts, strength and irrepressible spirit, my parents were able to benefit from the Immigration Act of 1965 and come to America to pursue their Graduate degrees. They are from the same state in India, but met while at college in Tennessee!

To all in the Civil Rights Movement (past and present), my heartfelt gratitude. You have inspired me to be a part of the change I wish to see, to cling to hope in the darkest of times and relentlessly work towards liberty and justice for ALL.

Common Day Hero: You have seen and felt the tension of changing…the pain that evolving brings and yet a newfound joy that could only come from this specific kind of growth. You are sincere and resilient. The fierce warrior in me recognizes and salutes the fierce warrior within you. Amy R (Ambassador to me), I dedicate this post to you!

Juneteenth – the nineteenth of June, eighteen sixty-five…the day that slaves in Texas were finally freed…well, except for those who weren’t…sigh. Some had to work through one more harvest season because their masters demanded it (didn’t share the news with them). This was two and a half years after Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation…a day of celebration and rejoicing, but also grief and mourning because of the long, unjust delay.

In June of two-thousand fifteen, on Juneteenth, my father relocated to heaven. I celebrate the good that he modeled, passed down to me (and others) and the good that now lives on through the lives he touched. I mourn the deep, inexplicable loss. I cannot begin to accurately express the depth of pain, disappointment, anger and disbelief that this transition brought.

In June of two-thousand eighteen, five days before my father’s relocation anniversary, my father-in-law joined my father. I was so upset, not just at the loss, but the timing as well. After my father relocated, I made a trip to see my in-laws and when I hugged them, I said, I have one less parent now. My father-in-law hugged me tighter when I said that. Compounded grief.

I don’t know why many have only asked how my husband was/is after the loss. I am the “in-law” but that doesn’t lessen the pain. I grieve as well. Considering the current physical (Covid-19) and sociological/racial pandemic we are in, are we grieving with ALL who grieve (even if it seems we haven’t directly been affected)? Are we asking (and answering) difficult questions…of ourselves? Answering may take some time (maybe more than we expect) and answering may yield more questions. Answering may entail sitting with grieving others.

An African American friend shared an analogy with me; I’ve taken creative liberty and expanded it. Visualize a married couple. One has been physically, verbally and/or mentally abusing the other, but no one in society really knows. Some suspect it, some dismiss it, some wonder but don’t want to get “too deep” in it. Suddenly, one day, the truth is exposed. An article is written, a video is released. Some believe it, some still doubt it, some stand with the abuser, some want to know the full story of the abused before deciding on support. That is an attempt to express how some African Americans feel.

Now more than ever, the hidden has come to light…again! While some of us are assessing and analyzing and blaming or just getting annoyed, the abused continues to bleed out…in front of us, in broad daylight. Earlier this year, I heard Tracie Ellis Ross say, “Many epitome moments are met with grief and tears”. This could be that moment for us…as a people.

Grieve however best helps your heart. Good grief? I believe grief is good because when we fully allow ourselves to grieve all that we’ve lost (and continue to lose), we become free to embrace change. Change that is deep-rooted, heart-level and promotes healing such as: a willing/open heart, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean and cry on, a small/brave step, anything that ignites and fuels empathy, love and unity…so we can be the change that transforms individuals, families and communities.

Common Day Hero: We are childhood friends and yet, growing up, I had NO idea how different life was for you, simply because you are part of that beautiful mahogany tribe! I AM so grateful for your abundantly giving heart, your love for all and your resilience. LaRethia, I dedicate this post to you!

George Floyd. Another life…senselessly…mercilessly…horrifically ended. I have cried so many tears. sigh. 

When I was seventeen (mid-nineties!), I graduated from a small, private school in Vidor, Texas. This is the town where I first saw the KKK…not on a screen…live, on the side of the road and in their “uniforms”. I attended private schools from Pre-K through twelfth grade and had no idea what the KKK was. These schools didn’t teach about the dark side of the history of our state or nation.

The dark side…the inhumane treatment of Native Americans and how we almost made them extinct…the slavery, lynchings and innumerable atrocities against African Americans and the discrimination and concentration camps for Asian Americans…none of that was included in my history lessons.

When I got home that day (after seeing the KKK), I asked my biological mom why, since it wasn’t Halloween, were “ghosts” standing on the street? She said oh, people are crazy. I thought ok, I need to call that French Vanilla lady from church. The few interactions I had with her told me that she was a safe person.

I called her and she said, “Get over here now and we’ll talk about it.” When I reached her house, she told me if I saw anything like that again, not to make eye contact and not to stop. She knew how I like to talk and make friends with everyone. She answered all my questions. Yes, this is the woman who eventually became my dear French Vanilla Mom! Glad she was (and is) in my life. I was sad that day and felt so wronged for not being taught or told this prior. Guess I should also explain that my biological parents didn’t let me watch TV except for Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow, the occasional spiritually-bent movie and Strawberry Shortcake!

I have experienced kindness from all flavors/people groups, so I know that we have good and not-so-great in ALL races. Some of us are related to people who condone, enable, agree with or propagate prejudice, racism and supremacy of certain groups. We can’t choose our families of origin, but we can choose a different path than any negative ones in which we may have been raised.

For quite some time now, I’ve been wondering…how can our family be (even a small) part of the solution?

Some points we’re considering: Are we speaking up so that our sphere of influence is more aware of subtle prejudices? Are we in groups that challenge us to see/face our implicit biases? Do people of a different ethnicity, religion, background have to “prove” themselves to be a part of our circe? If we are in positions to hire people, do credentials or names and ethnicity influence our decision-making process? When presented with a story, is our first thought incriminating if it involves a person of color? At the thought of our children interracially dating/marrying, are we delighted or fearful? Do we have access to people in power? If so, are we having the difficult conversations necessary to bring change? Are we willing to open our hearts and minds, genuinely listen and change accordingly so that others can see/feel/know that all lives really matter?

I believe we are all ONE family…an array of stunning colors, a variety of flavors bringing our unique backgrounds and beauty to create a magnificent tapestry with ONE voice…an inclusive voice where ALL are truly heard.

My dear European American/Caucasian friends and all friends with connections (regardless of race), we desperately NEED one another now! Will we use our voice for those voices who aren’t being heard even now? Will we use our privilege for those who aren’t as privileged? Will we use our influence for those whom only WE can influence? Will we use our breath for those who Can’t Breathe? It’s really late…but not too late!

Suggestions:

Read books about the experience of cultures (other than our own) in America.

Watch documentaries and movies about individual/collective experiences of cultures (other than our own) in America.

Start a book club to discuss the experiences of those different from us in culture/background, religion, political views. Note and discuss the group’s thoughts and feelings.

Create a safe space for a diverse group: those who are open to explore, learn, grow and change (maybe commit to journal every bias/thought/feeling that comes up for thirty days and then discuss).

Add minority speakers to our podcast lists.

Become and/or support activists, policy makers, educators, spiritual leaders, change agents.

Check for local organizations who have been and are working diligently towards racial equality, equity and true reconciliation.

ALL of us die, if ONE of us can’t breathe.

Common Day Hero: Long before Facebook, Twitter and Insta, we were friends! You are generous, a trailblazer and patient with my atypical ways! LaToya, Victory of the People (insert raised fist!), I dedicate this post to you!

I grew up being compared…by my parents, peers, educators and at times, strangers. Most of the time, it was well-intentioned. Unfortunately, it always left me feeling “less than”…still, I boarded the comparison roller coaster as a young child and remained on it well into adulthood.

Sadly, it seems comparison is “acceptable”…even in spiritual circles. I believe comparison has no place with the Divine; however, society has us comparing and categorizing our fellow humans. A few comparisons that immediately come to my mind are:

Sinner vs Saint

Light vs Dark

Tall vs Short

Slim vs Wide etc…

I’ve heard, oh he comes from a great family, but I come from a dysfunctional home. I believe we all come from dysfunctional homes. It’s just the level of dysfunction that varies.

Anytime we compare, we are diminishing (maybe even unintentionally extinguishing) the light of one individual and elevating another. This realization was the catalyst in my decision to break ties with comparison.

Comparison also kept/keeps me far from contentment. That roller coaster had me feeling on top of the world one minute and in the inconsolable depths of despair the next. Just when I thought I was on steady ground, comparison would come along…

I found myself reeling until I made the connection that comparison was blocking me from being content. I need not concern myself with who is (or appears) more intelligent, in better shape physically, more spiritual, more stable or financially wealthy. I AM content with who I AM.

Every time I choose to turn away from comparison, I experience great contentment. I maintain that state of being content by reminding myself that I lack nothing. I have everything I need to be who I am created to be.

My personal belief is that each of us was created with intrinsic value and unique gifts/talents. The beauty of accepting that at my core is that any offering I choose to bring to the world can only come from me. No one else has the distinct bent and flair with which I was made, so I need not compare. I AM content!

If I find myself comparing my children, I immediately call myself out and apologize to them. Both of my children feel that comparison has been (and is) a hindrance rather than a help. I share their sentiment and make a conscious effort to refrain from comparing them.

Is comparison keeping us from living our lives to the fullest? Comparison will continue to creep up, but we are powerful people. We have a choice to stop comparing, catch ourselves comparing and change course…daily. We can do this!

Common Day Hero: Your acceptance and love has been (and is) refreshing. I AM grateful for our friendship. Susie, I dedicate this post to you.

Men…Mental…Menstrual cycle/Menses…Menopause

Notice the root word fa all our troubles…men! Kidding, I ain’t here to talk about men! Since the month of May is all about Mothers (ok, we only get a day, not a month!), thought I’d share my personal journey to motherhood.

Some girls grow up dreaming about becoming mothers. Some girls grow up dreaming about holding, rocking and caring for babies. Some girls grow up dreaming about the day they will make home-cooked meals for their family. All good things, but that just wasn’t me.

Growing up, I helped care for my older sister (who has autism and severe developmental delays). When I was ten, our family adopted a three-day old baby boy. My father was the first person to show me that all are welcome and that we are all part of a greater family.

At fifteen, I met a wonderful French Vanilla and Sauerkraut (read Caucasian/European American) family. At seventeen, they welcomed me into their home (full story another day!). They had three young children then, ages ten, six and three. The children were told, this is your new sister!

I love my two peach brothers, but I simply adored my spunky, silly and delightful sister. I took her everywhere I could. I remember getting some interesting stares and glares, at times, when just she and I roamed the town! It is this little girl with skin the color of cream and hair almost as brown as my skin, who confirmed my dream of adopting. I say confirmed because when my family of origin welcomed our beautiful little boy, the dream of adopting began.

Fast forward almost ten years, that little cream colored girl became a teenager and was a bridesmaid at my wedding! Niji knew that adoption ranked high on my list. Even if I gave birth, I wanted to adopt, but this was new territory for him. To his knowledge, no one in his family (including extended family) had adopted.

There was fear about whether the kids would want or love us. Fear about acceptance from family. Over time, Niji’s heart began opening to the idea of adoption. And when he felt sure about it, ALL hell seemed to come at me…fear that I wouldn’t be a good mother…doubt that I could ever be what the children needed…anxiety that Niji and I would repeat negative patterns from our families. Sigh. LONG sigh.

At the time, I didn’t know how to process all that was coming my way, but Niji was suddenly confident and excited about moving forward. We decided to adopt from Texas. Despite my fear, we began the classes required by the State and around ten months later, two kind and brave children moved into our home.

The people around us said we were good folks to rescue and help those in need. I must say my kids have also rescued me. Niji and I have made (and continue to make) quite a few mistakes (thus, the therapy fund!), but we do not hide from our mistakes. I made a commitment to apologize every.single.time I mess up.

Although I didn’t grow up dreaming about becoming a mother, I now know that motherhood is what I never knew I always needed. Life with kids led me to seek out help on healing childhood trauma, reclaiming my life and being the Mother I never dreamed I could be. My kids continue to help bring up what I need to face, acknowledge, work on and improve.

Dear Mothers,

I cry in front of my children. I explain why I’m sad (at their level…as much as I can). I take deep breaths with them. I name my grief with them (no matter how small it seems).

I answer the tough, uncomfortable and interesting questions. If something is too big for them to understand or process, I tell them that as they get older, I will explain more.

I pray for them always. As they get older, I pray with them (if they want).

In the car, I let them choose the music (most times!).

I didn’t grow up with choices, so I remind myself to give them choices because I want them to know that they are powerful people. None of us is powerless unless we choose to be.

I say all of this in hopes that you, dear mothers, will move forward with what is on your heart for your family. You are good. You are the best mother for your children because you were chosen by the Divine! You can seek help for any area you need. You are brave because you show up for the good, the not-so-great, the difficult…all of it.

I AM confident, free and living fully from my heart because of two answered prayers. A boy and a girl who were divinely orchestrated to be…mine!

Common Day Heroes: My cute, shy, curry brother, I am so grateful to have the privilege of being your older sister/Chechi. I love you. Push past every obstacle and pursue your gifts, talents and dreams. My spunky, silly and delightful sister, I love you. Dive fully into the dream within so the world can see that amazing spark and Light I’ve always seen. I dedicate this post to you, Lee Daniel and Mikayla Rachelle.

I’ve been an empath from as early as I can remember, but the culture I was immersed in and the religious/social circles of my parents, didn’t encourage this. In recent years, I’ve learned to embrace it…see the good in it and be confident in the gift that it is. I made a decision to be fully present in each situation and refrain from “fixing”.

Are there people or situations we find ourselves “fixing” or attempting to “fix”? Often, fixing is another form of control and/or manipulation. At times, “fixing” provides us a place of hiding. When we focus on “fixing” others, we avoid the deeper issues of our own hearts. Each of us is on a journey all our own.

Through the years, I have been misunderstood many times. I have betrayed my kind heart by saying words that were harsh or unnecessary. It was always an attempt to “rescue” or “fix” those whom I loved dearly, but I lost a few relationships along the way. I couldn’t understand why this was happening when my heart was always for people. Some of the losses are on me. Some aren’t.

It may be difficult to watch someone we love on a journey that doesn’t meet our expectations. It is painful to see someone we care about making unhealthy or harmful choices. Do we remain kind, dependable and available throughout the journey or are we harsh, distant and unavailable? Are we genuinely trusting the process of the path our loved one is traveling?

To be present, loving and in non-fixing mode takes many forms for me: sitting in silence together, engaging my heart and ears (to hear and feel), crying together, a hug or dap (depending on the individual…and now with ‘rona among us, just a wave from a distance or a video call!), mailing a card, texting a funny or kind thought, leaving something at the front door like: flowers, a meal, or a gift card for a meal (for those of us not called to cook!), praying, so many possibilities!

I use words only if and when I feel a gentle, but firm impression on my heart…The Voice of the Divine nudging me. And more than not, I ask questions…how, what, when questions (thank you Jin!). I have found that when an individual has to answer a question, it usually requires more thought and deeper inspection. Upon reflection, some will choose to be honest, others won’t, but I am learning to simply accept the answers I’m given.

Now that I have more consistently been living in this space of Freedom, not “fixing”, I AM fully enjoying all the relationships in my life. I AM free to breathe, relax, trust…and in turn, those around me experience a bit of that Freedom. I AM more confident in the Love of the Divine. I’m human and very flawed, but more than ever, trusting the Divine to do the work only heaven can (and will do!) now that I’m staying in my lane.

Common Day Hero: It’s been quite a journey, thus far and I’m grateful that through the years (“many dangers, toils and snares”!), our friendship has been a kick in the pants, a soothing balm, comedic relief, sweet like ice cream and whatever else we need it to be in the moment! Thankful that the Creator of the stars aligned our paths and happy you chose to stay on the path that intertwined with mine. Janice, I dedicate this post to you.

Covid-19/corona/’rona has altered our lives, to say the least. Some of us may not be suffering, but our lives have been disrupted. What we knew as typical for so long, has changed…forever. Sharing some suggestions here that I hope will be helpful, especially at this point on the journey…mid-‘rona.

Acknowledge the change.

Writing has been cathartic for me and I’ve heard many others say the same. Write your feelings, daily…what is difficult, what is/has been good, what seems daunting beyond measure. Just write – words, phrases, run-on sentences…all are welcome.

It is alright if we are not “okay”. We need not “fix” or “plan” – just jot down feelings. Making note of both negative and positive feelings may help to not be weighed down. For non-writers, how about writing just one sentence a day? Today, I feel…

If children are a part of your life, let them know that they can write, doodle, “angry” draw.

Accept the changes brought on by the change.

Take a deep/full breath (or three or thirty, throughout the day). If breathing techniques haven’t been a part of our lives, beginning and ending the day with a full/deep breath may be a good start.

Try this: after washing your face in the morning (or for night owls, after washing your face at night), do nothing. Really…n-o-t-h-i-n-g! Set a timer/alarm for seven minutes then sit back in a comfortable space and close your eyes if you want. Just sit…in a dimly lit (or naturally lit) place. When the seven minutes are over, take a deep/full breath (inhale and exhale slowly while seated) then stand up.

After standing, take another deep/full breath and stretch (while breathing in, reach up for the stars and stand all the way up on your tip-toes), hold your breath for four to seven seconds (if possible) then breathe out slowly (four to seven seconds) and gently go into work or cleaning or homeschooling or your morning/nightly routine.

Hug each person in your home (or dap or high-fives) before and/or after every meal. Go for a walk (a leisurely stroll to enjoy nature) or bike ride every morning and/or evening.

Set up “appointments” on the calendar to connect via video calls with family and friends. Bake or cook together then exchange with a friend or surprise someone with a text after leaving sweets/eats on their front porch!

Create an affirming, encouraging personal statement. Write it out in a bold/fun way. Place it on the bathroom mirror, nightstand or another prominent place. Read it out loud everyday (at the start and/or end of the day). Make it a family project if all family members want to participate.

Laughter is healing. Find things that make you laugh, daily.

Talk to a mentor, coach and/or licensed professional (help is available online).

Adjust to the change/s.

Now that some of us have much more time at home, things that we pushed down may come to the surface. Our society has us running/occupied/busy, but ‘rona may have us noticing some things…how can we adjust well?

If I need a nap, I take a nap. If I need to spend a minute looking at an image of the ocean or the smile of a loved one (including those who have relocated from earth), I do it. If I need to play the sounds of the ocean (or listen to some other sound/music), I do it. If I need to enjoy a tablespoon of peanut butter, hold my furry friend for five to fifty seconds, sing or step out on my back patio and take some deep breaths…whatever it is that I need, I do it. I now understand and feel the comfort, joy and stress of being home all the time!

What is it your heart needs? What adjustments can be made to keep our hearts and minds healthy? We are unique individuals, so what helps one may not help another. Find what helps your heart.

Common Day Heroes: You have remained kind and consistent. So much changed for you (even pre-corona) and many changes have been negative, but you remain positive. You are my greatest encouragers and I hope to be the same for you always. Regardless of what this life brings, I AM eternally for you, my adorable gifts from heaven. My brave Jade and sweet Evan, I dedicate this post to you.